It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
by and she knew love
Summary: Christmas week. Stillman tells the squad to take the week off but their break is cut short when Scotty's cousin is shot. As the squad pulls together to find the shooter, the two partners find themselves smudging the line between them...L/S
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Cold Case story, and I'm pretty nervous about it. Hopefully it's up to par. **

**Disclaimer: As desperately as I want to own something, _anything_, of Cold Case, it hasn't happened yet. **

ONE

Lilly got off the elevator and headed into the bullpen, stopping only to park her gun in her locker and take off her coat. She paused quizzically when she saw the state of the office, though, which was surprisingly…empty.

The usual hustle and bustle of the bullpen was absent, as were most of the detectives that worked there. She didn't see hide or tail of the Cold Case squad anywhere, which was a surprise; it was early morning Monday, after all, and since she hadn't been told there was a case, her coworkers couldn't _all_ be out on interviews.

"Lil!"

Turning, she found Stillman waving to her. "Hey, Boss, where is everyone?"

"Break room," he explained. "Come on."

Lilly slowly took off her gloves and followed him. "Yeah, but where's everyone _else?_ Not just the Cold Case squad?"

Stillman gave her an amused look. "Haven't you had a look around the office recently? It's Christmas week."

"They all went home?" Lilly asked, surprised. "For the entire _week?" _

"It _is_ an important holiday," Stillman reminded her, grinning. "Of course, there're a few detectives stuck with desk duty for a few days, and they're rotating that, but it's been pretty quiet in Philly so far. No need to have all the detectives in."

"Oh." She brushed some hair out of her face and asked, "And why are we all in the break room?"

The door popped open, and Scotty came stumbling out into the hall, an indignant look on his face. "Damn it, man, I _told_ you this shirt was new!"

Vera's laugh echoed from the break room. "Hey, you snooze, you lose, Valens."

Scotty cursed again and glanced aghast at the chocolate stain smeared down the entire front of his shirt. "_Damn_ him!" He looked up and noticed them for the first time, his expression suddenly sheepish. "Hey, Boss…Lil. Didn't, uh, didn't see you there."

"Clearly," Lilly replied, grinning a little at his distraught expression. "What's going on?"

"Christmas celebration," Stillman explained, eyes twinkling. "I figured I'd give the squad some fun since we haven't gotten any cases."

"And that entails…?" Lilly prompted, glancing into the break room.

Well. It seemed like they'd already put in a real effort to make it a true Christmas celebration. Sure, for a few days, the break room had been decorated half-heartedly in faded streamers and a sad-looking Christmas tree, but between Vera, Scotty, and Miller, the three of them seemed to have brightened up the place. It was now festooned with brightly colored banners and confetti. On the table, three boxes of donuts were open and half-devoured. A glazed donut with its icing wiped off explained what had happened to Scotty's shirt.

"Wow," Lilly said. "Who's cleaning this up?"

"Don't you know how to have fun, Rush?" Vera grumped. "Just got here, and you're already making me think about who's got to clean all this crap up."

"We're drawin' straws," Scotty muttered from behind Lilly. "At least, that's what Boss says, but I sure as hell ain't cleanin' up this stuff. Half the mess is Vera's fault anyway."

Vera shrugged. "What? I'm getting into the Christmas spirit." He picked up a donut and took a huge bite to demonstrate just how into the Christmas spirit he was.

"That was mine," Miller snapped, her expression quickly morphing from a little smile to fury.

Vera stopped munching on it long enough to make a show of looking at it. "What? It doesn't have your name on it, as far as I can see."

"It's chocolate twirl," Miller growled, as if that explained everything.

"Yeah," Vera chuckled, taking another bite, "and I'm gonna enjoy it."

Watching Miller shoot daggers at Vera and mutter under her breath about how she was going to have her revenge one way or another, Lilly leaned back and asked, "So, what happened to your shirt?"

Scotty glanced down and groaned. "That dumbass happened."

"Let me guess," Lilly said slowly, "you fought. Over a donut."

Scotty glanced at her a little sheepishly. "Yeah. We might've."

Lilly grinned. "Of all the stupid things to fight over, you went for a _donut?_"

Scotty just shrugged instead of arguing. "Yeah, I know better than that now. Those two are a buncha vultures over donuts. I wouldn't touch 'em if I were you."

Lilly's grin widened. Maybe it was because of the Christmas spirit supposedly going around, but she was feeling unusually flippant. "I learned that lesson a long time ago, Valens."

"Hey, Lil," Kat greeted, shooting a last glare at Vera before nodding to her friend. "You seen Jeffries out there?"

"He's not in yet?" Lilly asked.

"He's not coming," Stillman said from behind them all. "He's come down with something and decided to stay home. Didn't want to spread it around."

"Flu sucks," Vera said, licking his fingers.

"You would know," Kat griped, shooting him a fierce glare again. "Who was the dumbass who gave me the virus a couple of weeks back?"

"Hey, it was an accident," Vera protested. "How was I supposed to know I was sick?"

"Oh, besides the fact that you looked like Rudolph and you could barely walk straight?" Scotty put in, pouring himself some coffee. He took Lilly's mug from her and poured her some too.

"Oh right," Kat mocked, "that's what you're like everyday. Sorry."

"Calm down, guys," Stillman said, snagging himself a donut from the box. "It's Christmas week. Since we haven't got any cases, I want you all to take the week off." Shooting Lilly a stern look, he added, "And before you ask, I'm not budging on that. You all deserve the rest. We did good this year, solved a lot of cases, and you should all be with whoever on Christmas. So that's final."

Vera grinned, thinking of the TV and sleep he'd have in the week to come. Not to mention the boxes of donuts that would be all his. No fighting over them, no more of that. Not for a whole, blessed week.

Kat could hardly contain her smile, looking forward to the time she'd get to spend with Veronica, uninterrupted time if she was reading Boss right. He probably wouldn't call them on any cases, which meant she wouldn't have to go rushing off in the night to corner some stupid suspect dumb enough to get himself caught on Christmas _week_, for crying out loud. Grinning, she took another donut from the box, glaring at Vera when she remembered that he'd taken one of her precious chocolate twirls.

"Finally," Vera muttered. "I'm gonna eat donuts 'til I'm fat."

"Too late for that," Kat said dryly.

"Hey, least I _got_ plans," Vera shot back.

"Veronica and I have plans too," Miller said. "I think I'm gonna take her on a trip or somethin' now that we have the whole week off."

"Don't go too far," Stillman warned. "I said you get the week off, but I'm not promising anything. We might have a case, we might not."

His words did little to dampen Miller's spirit, though, as she went off about maybe visiting some ski places in Colorado. Vera rolled his eyes and interjected his snarky comments here and there, still chewing on his donut. In the midst of it all, Lilly sighed. _A whole week off._ She should probably be grateful, even happy. Seven whole days of not dealing with murder and heartbreak and the scum of the earth. Seven days to just rest. But like every other time Boss gave them time off, she found that she had nothing to do. No plans, nobody to meet, no one to spend time with. She sighed.

"What're you gonna do?"

"What?" It took her a moment to refocus on Scotty. He was glancing over at her, sipping coffee from his mug.

"I asked you what you were gonna do for Christmas break."

"Oh." She shrugged. "I don't have any plans."

"No one to see?"

Lilly leveled a deadpan look at him. Really? He'd known her for years, and he could still ask her that?

He caught the ice in her eyes immediately. "Sorry," he said, chagrined, "I didn't mean that. I mean, any relatives? You've got to have a cousin here or somethin'."

"No one," Lilly answered quietly. Of course. As usual. She hadn't expected to spend Christmas with anyone anyway. It had been that way for years upon years now. So why did she feel a little disappointed every time?

"Oh. Sorry."

He didn't understand. She knew he wouldn't. He'd never understood what she meant by having no one. Somewhere in there, she knew he thought that she was exaggerating, that she had some distant relatives that she just didn't keep up with much. He thought that even though she'd stressed just how bad she'd had it as a kid, there would still be someone out there she could share with. Spend time with. Be open with. With that big Cuban family of his that spent time together practically every week, he probably never imagined that when she said she had no one, she meant she had no one.

Turning the conversation on him, Lilly asked lightly, "How about you? You got any big plans, Valens?"

He shrugged. "Nothin' big. Just spendin' time with my family like every other year."

"Big family?" Lilly asked, wondering why she was even prying. For the sake of conversation, she guessed.

He grinned. "You have no idea. Cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews…it's a nightmare."

"That's…nice." She hoped he wouldn't catch the wistfulness that was barely there in her voice. By the way he turned away slightly at whatever the hell Miller and Vera were up to, he didn't.

They continued to joke around for a while until Scotty's phone rang. Flipping it open, he answered, the trace of a grin still on his lips.

"So you got any plans, Boss?" Lilly asked, crossing her arms and leaning into the counter.

"Like anyone else, I think," Stillman answered. "I'm going to spend it with my daughter."

Lilly nodded, smiling. "Say hello for me."

Stillman nodded. "I know. I will." He hesitated before asking, "Nothing to do this year either, Lil?"

She'd known him long enough that she didn't have to answer. He sighed. "I know you think you don't need time off, but it's good for you, Lil. It is. I'm ordering you to stay away from the office, understand?"

Sighing, Lilly nodded. She'd agreed, but that didn't mean she had to like it. She thought of the empty days ahead and blew out a breath.

She glanced over at Scotty, about to ask him something, but the expression on his face choked back her words. All the color had bled out of his face, and he was clutching the phone with a half-incredulous, half-panicked look on his face.

"Scotty?" she asked lowly, stepping toward him. "Something wrong?"

He held up an impatient hand, clearly listening hard to whoever was on the other side. "Yeah…yeah, I heard you. Yeah, I'm free. I'll be there in ten."

He snapped the phone closed and hurried for the door.

"What's wrong, Scotty?" Stillman asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Family emergency," Scotty answered tightly, running a hand through his hair in agitation. He took a breath before letting it out in a whoosh. "My cousin's been shot."

That sucked all the festivity out of the room in a split second. All of them started up and toward him quickly, questions bubbling on their lips.

Scotty shook his head impatiently and held up a hand. "Not now. I gotta get to the hospital."

He swept out of the bullpen quickly and was gone before any of them could do more than gape after him.

"Well," Miller said eventually, her half-eaten donut forgotten in her hands. "I think it's a moot point to try to celebrate anymore. I'm goin' home to Veronica."

"I'm headin' home too," Vera muttered. "There's nothin' to do here anyway."

They both headed for the elevator, but Stillman's voice caught them. "Hey you two, you really aren't going to leave the break room looking like _that_, are you?"

Both of them froze, and Vera griped, "Crap. Boss…"

They were obviously eager to go catch up on whatever holiday cheer they could find at home. Lilly sighed. "You two go on. I'll clean it up."

Kat shot her a grateful look. "You sure, Lil? I mean, you didn't even do anythin' in there."

Lilly smiled and shrugged. "It's fine. I don't have anything to do anyway."

"If you're sure," Kat said, sounding reluctant. She turned to catch the elevator with Vera, who'd already bolted when Lilly volunteered.

"Well, that isn't fair," Stillman observed.

Lilly smiled at him. "I don't have anything to do, Boss. This will take up some time."

Stillman nodded to her. "If you don't mind, Lil, I think I'll be heading off too. I've got to see my daughter."

"Sure thing, Boss."

"Good." He smiled gratefully and touched her shoulder. "Merry Christmas. Take the time off, okay?"

"I know." For a moment, Lilly allowed herself to lean into his touch, his affection, but the moment was over almost instantly. He pulled away, pulled on his coat, and left the bullpen. With a sigh, Lilly headed back into the break room.

It took her a little over an hour to clean up the mess the squad had left. She cleaned up the confetti and a few of the low-hanging banners but left the other streamers and the Christmas tree where they were. When she was done, she collected her gun and coat before stepping into the elevator.

Outside, she slipped on her gloves and wrapped the scarf around her neck. Despite the coat, she was still shivering a little when she stepped out onto the snow-covered streets of Philadelphia.

For a long moment, she debated her options. The most obvious one was to head home, maybe spend a few hours surfing the channels on her mostly-unused TV, cuddle with her cats. For some reason, though, she wasn't that interested in going home. More than anything, it would remind her that she had no one to spend her Christmas with, no one to come home to. She could head back inside, of course, maybe dig up a case or two, finish up paperwork. But the thought of sitting in the empty bullpen filling out reports in silence was a little too lonely.

Well, she could always wander the streets. Philadelphia's streets were well-coated in snow and decorations here and there made it truly festive. Maybe a walk would do her some good—and take up some time.

Leaving her car locked, she tucked her hands in her pockets and strode off down the street. It was cold, but walking warmed her up, and soon, she was glancing in a few shops along the way. Christmas decorations were inescapable, and sometimes, she felt almost festive. More often than not, however, she watched all the celebrations and felt a wave of bitterness wash through her. Christmas. A tree, a couple of presents, hot chocolate…was that so hard? So hard that her mother couldn't stay sober for more than a couple days to fix up for her girls?

With a sigh, Lilly brushed away the feelings and the memories, just content to slog along through the snow. At least it gave her something to do.

Eventually, she stopped, tired of wandering. She glanced up to get her bearings and was surprised to find that she'd stopped in front of the hospital.

_The hospital._ She wondered if Scotty was still inside. Of course he must have been. It had been only two hours since he'd gotten the call, and if there was anything Lilly had learned about her partner, it was that he didn't leave someone in the hospital without being forced to. She figured he'd be even more adamant to stay if it was family.

For a long moment, Lilly toyed with the idea of going inside to check up on him. She wasn't related—hell, she didn't even know the name of the patient—so she probably wouldn't be able to get to his room anyway. But she didn't have anything better to do. She remembered Scotty's deathly pale face from that morning and felt a sudden urge to make sure he was alright.

She crossed the street and entered the warmth of the hospital. It was all a flurry of activity in the building, even this close to the holidays. Probably _because_ of the holidays, even. She reached the receptionist and hesitated.

"Can I help you?" the woman behind the desk asked, sounding bored.

"Yes, I was looking for…" For who? Valens? What if his last name wasn't even Valens? Lilly gave the receptionist a slightly helpless look. "Well, this morning my friend came in and…well, his cousin's here."

"Name?" the receptionist asked impatiently.

"I…uh…well…"

The woman sighed. "Listen, ma'am, I'm gonna need a name to tell you where to go. I'm kind of in a hurry, so if you could tell me?"

This was a bad idea. She had no idea what she was doing here, really. Lilly nodded her head, tried a smile, and backed away. "Never mind. It's okay. I'll just—"

"Lil?"

She whirled at the familiar voice. "Scotty! Thank God."

He closed the distance between them quickly. "What are you doin' here?"

"I was just…" Well, what _was_ she doing here? She had no idea what his cousin's _name_ was, let alone _who_ he was. She should be home, feeding her cats and maybe curling up with some old case files. But a look at Scotty's haggard expression reminded her of why she'd come.

"I wanted to see if everything was okay," she said hesitantly. "If it's trouble, I'll just go."

But he didn't seem bothered. He seemed relieved almost, maybe even grateful. "Thanks, Lil. Means a lot that you're here."

"How's your cousin?" she asked, taking off her gloves.

A shadow crossed Scotty's face. "He's…doin' alright. I'll walk you to his room."

Lilly fell in step next to him. "What happened?"

Scotty shrugged. "They don't know. He hasn't woken up yet, and he was alone when it happened. Pamela—his wife—found him in their house, just barely alive." His jaw clenched, and muscles twitched.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. They went up a couple of flights of stairs and stopped outside room 414.

At the sound of talking and movement inside, Lilly paused, suddenly alarmed. She'd assumed that Scotty had come alone, but it was obvious that he hadn't. She really didn't want to meet his family, especially if there were as many of them as he'd implied. What would she say? That she was his partner from work? His friend? She'd always dreaded meeting the families of her friends or even her boyfriends. She'd only ever met with Ray and Patrick's families. Ray, because she'd practically grown up with him. Patrick, because how could she get married to someone without meeting the parents first?

"Lil?" Scotty said by her side, his hand on the doorknob. "You comin'?"

Lilly hesitated. "I think I might stay out here."

Scotty's brow furrowed in confusion. "You came all the way to the hospital to sit outside my cousin's room?"

"Yeah," she said, stepping back. "I just wanted to see if you needed anything." Her eyes darted to the door and back to his face.

Somehow, he knew exactly what she was backing away from. He released the doorknob and sighed. "Lil, if this is about everyone inside…"

Damn. How did he _do_ that? Granted, they'd been partners for years, but how could he guess her fears so easily?

Lilly waved a dismissive hand. "It's not that. It's okay, I'll just sit out here."

Scotty snorted. "That's bull. Come inside. I promise they don't bite."

"I…" How could she explain her hesitance? She wasn't afraid of them biting; how could a family that raised Scotty be cruel? She was just nervous. Worried she wouldn't be liked. Worried she wouldn't know how to act. How _did_ one act with family? The only way she'd ever known how to act was to clean up after any mess that was made. She'd only very rarely actually _talked_ with her mother, or with Christina for that matter.

Scotty didn't give her much choice, in the end. He grabbed her elbow and pushed her in front of him. "There's nothin' to be scared of. Come on."

"Scotty—" she protested, but it was too late. He'd slid the door open, revealing a roomful of relatives. It was so packed in there that Lilly felt claustrophobic instantly. There must have been twenty people at least in the small hospital room, which made breathing a little difficult. Or maybe that was just the small panic attack she was going through.

"Hey, guys," Scotty said quietly, closing the door behind them.

All of them quieted as they eyed the new arrivals. Lilly shifted uncomfortably under their scrutinizing stares, and she backed up unconsciously, stepping into Scotty. His hands were on her shoulders, steadying her, and she felt marginally better.

"_Quien es ella?"_ someone asked. The Spanish escalated Lilly's alarm. Good God, if she couldn't converse with a family in English, how the hell was she going to do it in another language?

"_Una amiga,"_ Scotty replied, his hands still on Lilly's shoulders.

"What?" Lilly whispered, feeling more and more lost.

"She asked who you were," Scotty explained. "I told her you were a friend."

One of the women came forward and took Lilly's hands. She was so surprised that she froze, wondering what the hell she was supposed to do and if the woman spoke any English at all.

"This is Patricia, my cousin," Scotty said helpfully from behind her.

"I can introduce myself," Patricia said, scowling at him. She spoke English near perfectly, with only the trace of an accent. Thank God for that.

"Nice to meet you," Lilly said weakly. "My name is Lilly Rush." By force of habit, she almost added _homicide_ but caught herself in time.

"So why are you here, Lilly?" Patricia asked. "Are you Scotty's _novia?"_

Lilly glanced helplessly back at Scotty, only to find that he was hiding a smile. Puzzled, she turned back to Patricia. "Excuse me?"

"She likes to tease," Scotty cut in. "It's nothing."

Was she imagining it, or was that a tinge of _pink_ on Scotty's cheeks? Holy crap, what the hell had this Patricia said?

"I said—" Patricia started, but Scotty lunged forward to grab her arm. Lilly glanced at him in confusion, but he didn't look at her.

"How's Enrique?" he interrupted.

Another woman came forward, a sad smile on her face. Lilly was surprised to find that she was Caucasian and blond, like she was. In the room of tanned faces, she clearly stood out. "He hasn't woken up. The doctors don't know when that may happen."

"This is Pamela," Scotty introduced. "Enrique's wife."

"Wife?" Lilly repeated.

Pamela nodded, taking Lilly's hands in her trembling ones. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Pam, this is Lilly Rush, my _partner_," Scotty said.

"Partner," Lilly reemphasized, beginning to realize that some of his family might misunderstand if he suddenly showed up with an unknown woman. "At work."

"Only?" Patricia purred from behind them.

"Patricia," another voice said sternly. The man stepped forward, his back bent by age and his face wrinkled but proud. "Now is not the time for that." His English was heavily accented but understandable. Slowly, he shuffled forward and extended his large hand. "My name is Ramiro. I am Scotty's father."

Ramiro. Right. She'd heard Scotty mention him in passing maybe once. Lilly took his hand a bit shyly, noticing the heavy calluses on the man's palm.

Scotty's father stepped past her and shot off a question to Scotty in Spanish. Her partner answered in Spanish just as rapid, and Lilly gave up trying to figure out whatever they were saying. Instead, she took a step closer to the hospital bed, trying to get a good look at Scotty's cousin. Enrique was tucked carefully under the covers, breathing steadily. The heartbeat monitor beeped steadily and healthily, but he looked anything but alright. His face was pale, probably from loss of blood, and he was frowning. When she looked closer, Lilly could see many of Scotty's features in his cousin's face, from the high brow to the dark, dark hair.

"Doctors say he's better than he looks."

Lilly turned to find Pam beside her. The rest of the family were either reclining nearby or talking quietly amongst themselves, and Scotty was still whispering something to his father. It didn't look like she'd be getting any help on what to say.

"I'm sure he is," Lilly said eventually. She didn't sound very convincing, though, even to her own ears.

Pam managed a brave smile. "He's been through a lot. I'm sure he'll be fine."

After a moment of hesitation, Lilly asked quietly, "If you don't mind me asking, where was he shot?"

"In the house," Pam said.

Lilly smiled a little. "I meant, where on his body?"

"Oh. His left chest, a few inches above his heart." She shuddered a little when she said it, and her eyes were glued onto his chest.

Lilly didn't know what else to say. She'd never been much good at addressing grief from someone else; she was much more used to addressing grief from within herself. Some pain that she was feeling, she simply shut it off, walled it away. But someone else? She had no idea what to say or do. After a moment, she took a step back from the bedside and shot a helpless look at Scotty.

He came forward, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I'm glad you're here."

"You didn't warn me it would be a family reunion," Lilly griped at him, but with his cousin lying a couple of feet away in the hospital bed, she didn't have the heart to put much venom into her words.

His smile widened. "Sorry. Didn't think it would matter."

"He's going to be okay?" Lilly asked, glancing at the bed. "He looks awful."

The smile faded instantly. "Yeah, doctors have a pretty optimistic prognosis." He clenched his jaw and then relaxed it with a sigh. "They'd better catch the bastards who did this."

Lilly grinned slightly. "Didn't think you'd take this one lying down. You're going to let someone else deal with this?"

Scotty snorted. "Like hell. I'll look into it. But we're homicide, so I gotta do it on my own time."

There was pain in his eyes, pain that was deep and probably long-lasting. Lilly searched his gaze, wondering where all the anguish was coming from. This was a different pain than grief—she'd know. It was more like the pain she'd seen in Scotty's eyes those weeks after Elisa had been found in the river. More like the pain she'd sometimes seen in his gaze when he looked at her in the weeks after she'd been shot. His own pain.

Slowly, hesitantly, she reached out and touched his arm. Lilly could name all the times she'd touched her partner in under ten seconds, so it was awkward feeling his warm skin beneath her fingers. But after her mother had died and after she'd been shot, his light touch had brought some measure of comfort. She hoped it did the same for him, even if she had little idea of what he was hurting from.

He shot her a surprised but grateful glance before reaching up and grabbing her hand. Lilly froze instantly, but he pulled her closer, holding their hands between them.

"Scotty?" she asked softly.

"It's nothin'," he answered roughly. "It's just…I need to catch these bastards."

After a long moment, Lilly offered, still highly conscious of their touching hands, "I haven't got anything to do this week. Boss said he won't let me come back to the office. So…if you want, I'll take a look at the case for you."

Judging by the way he looked at her in surprise and squeezed her fingers with a slight, pained grin, it was the right thing to say.

"You don't mind?" he asked.

"Of course not," she answered lightly. "I wouldn't be doing anything anyway."

She'd expected that to make his grin a little brighter. Instead, it had the opposite effect, and his lips slipped into a frown.

"Scotty?" she asked, genuine concern bleeding into her voice.

He turned away, letting go of her hand. "Nah, it's nothin'."

She didn't believe him. After saying "I'm fine" so many times when she wasn't, she could tell when someone was lying about it. But just like Scotty had never pressed her when she said that, she decided to let it slide.

"When you need something," she said instead, grinning at the memories, "just say hey."

His lips turned up in the ghost of a smile at that. "Ain't that my line, Lil?"

"I'm serious," she answered, but her smile didn't support her words.

Before he could answer, a thin, Hispanic woman stepped up next to Lilly. She had dark hair like the rest of Scotty's family, and her eyes were like his, dark and mysterious. Her build was slight and lithe. She looked around Scotty's age, maybe a little younger. She was beautiful.

"Another cousin?" Lilly asked wryly, wondering how many of them they'd crammed into the room.

Scotty shook his head, his eyes lighting up a little. "No, this is Andrea, a family friend. She was Elisa's friend."

There was that telltale flicker of pain in his eyes when he mentioned Elisa, but it was gone almost as instantly as it appeared. Instead, he put on a smile and said something in rapid-fire Spanish. Andrea smiled widely and answered. Feeling out of the loop and intrusive, Lilly took a step back.

The two of them continued their conversation before Andrea, to Lilly's shock, threw her arms around Scotty in a close embrace. She was breathing something into his ear now, and Lilly could only stare, wondering if there was a story she didn't know about.

Scotty glanced over and read her stare. He chuckled before clarifying, "There's nothin' goin' on here."

"I didn't ask," Lilly replied, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"But you're lookin' at me like that," Scotty said, grinning. "I'm tellin' you, she's a friend. She's also kinda…touchy." He unwound Andrea's arms from his neck and held them in front of him.

Lilly glanced at Andrea for clarification, but Scotty's grin only widened. "She doesn't speak a word of English."

"Wonderful," Lilly muttered. She wondered why on earth she was still in the room. Sure, she'd come to make sure Scotty was alright, and that mission had been accomplished. Now she was ready to get out of the uncomfortable room and home to her cats and to English.

"Go ahead," Scotty said softly, noticing her glance toward the door. "I'll send you the case file and any information I get."

Lilly smiled at him gratefully and, emboldened by the success of her touch earlier, laid a hand on his shoulder. Releasing Andrea's arm, he touched it briefly before nodding toward the door.

"Tell everyone I said bye," Lilly said. "And that I hope Enrique gets better soon."

"Will do," Scotty replied.

With one last look at the man lying still in the bed, Lilly slipped out of the room and left.

* * *

**Let me know how I'm doing please. Leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter. I hope you like this one just as much.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Checked this morning, and as far as I know, I still don't own anything.**

* * *

TWO

After Lilly left, Andrea smiled and wound her arms around Scotty's neck again. He grinned at her but brought her arms down gently.

"Enough of that," he said in Spanish.

She pouted. "Why?"

"Not that I don't like your attention, but I got a job to do." He touched the badge at his hip pointedly and stepped past her. Nodding to his father, he said, "I'm gonna find out whoever has the case and get a start on it."

His father nodded and smiled. "Of course." He patted his son on the back before returning to his spot by Enrique's bed.

Scotty nodded to the rest of them, most of whom were preparing to leave for the day, and opened the door. He stepped out into the hallway, slipping on his coat with a sigh.

Dammit. If there was any place he really hated, it was hospitals. Nothing like a place with bustling doctors with their noses buried in a file and nurses too busy to talk to you to make you feel useless. He'd had his share of hospital visits, what with his busy youth with sports and also Mike's share of activities. Never liked the place. He'd come to hate it after Elisa's illness. He'd need twenty hands to count how many time he'd sat in a stiff hospital chair, waiting for the latest news of Elisa. Every time, he'd felt helpless, like a bystander just waiting for the bad news. He hated waiting, made him feel damned restless and cranky. He always itched to _do_ something. So it was probably a good idea to get his butt out of Enrique's room and get down to the station for some news.

He walked back to the station, so caught up in his thoughts that he was nearly flattened by a bus when he stepped into the street. By the time he'd made it back, it was past noon. Still, the parking lot was unusually empty, an indication that most of the detectives had taken the day, if not the whole week, off for holidays. Scotty headed up the stairs before pausing and glancing back into the parking lot, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Lilly's car. Still parked there where it had been in the morning. Was she still here…? But Boss had said…

Scotty rode up to the bullpen hurriedly in the elevator and stripped off his gloves and coat. Leaving his gun in his locker, he entered the bullpen.

It was quieter than normal. Scotty picked out the blond head instantly in the sea of empty desks.

"Lil, what are you still doin' here?" he asked, crossing over to her desk.

She looked surprised to see him. "I headed home, couldn't find anything to do. So I came back and requested the file for your cousin's case. Been looking at it."

For a long moment, he stared at her, feeling strangely overwhelmed. It wasn't so much the fact that Lilly, his partner who knew next to nothing about his cousin, had volunteered her time to look into the case. For him. It was more of the fact that she didn't have anything better to do, even on such an important holiday as Christmas. Everyone, he thought, no matter who or where you came from, should have something to do on Christmas, whether it was meeting family, or buying presents, or just all-out arguing with parents. But she didn't. It made a pang of sadness shoot through him, and for a moment, he could only stare at her with sudden, overwhelming affection and compassion.

"Scotty?"

The moment was broken. He coughed into his sleeve, hoping she hadn't noticed anything. "Yeah?"

"You okay? Spacing out there."

He shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. Find anythin' yet?"

"Nothing much in here," Lilly replied, flipping through the pages. "Lock on the door wasn't forced, so it must have been somebody Enrique knew or a delivery person of some sort. He was shot with a 9mm, close range, once in the chest." She turned over another page quickly before he could get a good look at it.

"What was that?" he asked, reaching for it.

"Photo," she answered. "Do you want to see it?"

Did he want to see it? See his cousin all sprawled on the ground with a hole in his chest and blood pooling all around him? Hell no. But did he need to? Yeah, to get a better read on the case, he did. So he reached for the picture and turned it over.

It was just as bad as he'd expected. To the side of the living room, Enrique laid on his back, his eyes closed, his hands on his chest, obviously trying to stem the flow of blood. The carpet beneath him was stained deep red. A phone lay nearby, bloodied from his fingers. From what Scotty had heard, his cousin hadn't had a chance to call police before he passed out.

Then his eyes traveled to the wall behind Enrique, and his heart skipped a beat.

A smear of blood extended down the light-colored wall, ending where Enrique lay. Just the sight of it catapulted him back to that interrogation room where everything had been so close to ending. He saw Ed Martenson's body again, felt for a pulse, then looked up and noticed for the first time Lilly slumped against the wall, her eyes far away, blood staining her shirt and the pale gray wall. That feeling of self-loathing and helplessness washed over him again. Dammit, he'd been too late, and his partner had been shot, and why was he so goddamn _useless?_

"Scotty," Lilly said sharply, and he snapped back quickly, suddenly aware that she was staring at him.

"Yeah? Sorry, I was just…" _Thinking about when you almost died._

He shook away the thought. "Yeah, keep goin'."

She shot him a strange look but didn't press him. "There isn't any obvious evidence left at the scene, no murder—" She coughed. "No weapon in sight, no notes, nothing to ID the assailant. Forensics is going over the blood, but they're pretty certain most of it's Enrique's."

He smiled a little at the slightly harried look on her face. "Kinda weird, havin' a lot of evidence, isn't it?"

"Fresh too," she agreed, smiling back. "It's even weirder having a live victim."

He winced at her wording. Sure, it was a victim, but it was his _cousin._ Hearing the word _victim_ made it just that much clearer how close they'd been to losing him.

Apparently, she'd noticed the flicker of darkness in his eyes. "Sorry," she apologized hastily. "I wasn't thinking."

He shrugged. "It's okay." He reached down and picked up a paper at random and scanned it. "So there're no leads?"

"It would help if your cousin woke up," Lilly said, shuffling the papers to put them back into the folder. She pulled the page he was holding from him and slipped it into the file before closing it. "We can't do much with what we have."

"Who's the officer on this?"

"A…Detective Richard White," Lilly answered, reading the name on the file. "He and his partner Charlie Rizzo were the officers assigned to the case."

"Never heard of them." Scotty ran a hand through his hair and sighed. They hadn't put some of the more experienced officers on the case, apparently. So they were handling it like it wasn't important, didn't merit some guys who actually knew what the hell they were doing. A ripple of anger shot through him.

Lilly watched the anger cross his face. "They're kind of fresh. About half a year into the detective job, both of them."

"Damn," Scotty breathed, rubbing a hand over his face angrily. "So they just stuck a couple of kids on this case? It's never gonna get solved."

"Hey," Lilly said softly, "that's what we're doing." For a moment, it almost looked as if she'd reach out to him again, and he waited in anticipation, wondering if she'd slide her fingers along his skin like she'd done earlier. It made him shiver, thinking about the way she'd touched him. But this time, she didn't move.

He managed a small grin. "Yeah. Right. Where do you think we should start?"

"Crime scene?" Lilly guessed, leaning back in her chair. "The place has already been picked apart, I'm sure, but we could just see if there's anything to find. Until your cousin wakes up, there isn't much to go on."

Scotty nodded. "Let's go get this bastard."

After flashing their badges to get past the police tape, they walked up to the house. It was small and simple, but looked comfortable enough.

"Is anyone home?" Lilly asked, pausing on the porch of the house.

"The door's open anyway," Scotty answered. "Ongoin' investigation. Police have been in and out all morning."

Nodding, Lilly pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was nice and warm inside but also dark. Behind her, Scotty flipped a switch and the lights popped on in the hallway.

"Living room's that way," he said, pointing to their left.

"Been here before?" Lilly asked, stepping in the direction he'd shown her.

"Yeah, a couple of times for their kid's birthday."

"Kid?" Lilly repeated in surprise. She entered the living room, which was also dark. Crossing to the windows, she pulled open the blinds to let some of the afternoon light into the room. It cast a warm glow on the crime scene.

"Good kid," Scotty replied. "His name's Trevor. Just turned seven, I think."

They walked slowly through the crime scene, taking in the details. None of the furniture had been upset, so the assailant had probably taken Enrique by surprise. Lilly moved until she was across from the bloodstain on the wall, directly in front of it. Had the attacker stood here? If he'd fired from here, Enrique would have stumbled back, hit the wall, and slid down to the floor, where the carpet was blood red.

"How long was he lying here?" Lilly asked, kneeling by the bloodstain.

"Not long," Scotty answered. "Pam said she'd left the house for about twenty minutes. When she came back, he was lying here."

"So the attack happened in under twenty minutes," Lilly said, standing. "The gunman entered the house, shot Enrique, and left in under twenty minutes." She paused. "Did Enrique own a gun?"

Scotty frowned. "I don't think so. At least, Pam never mentioned it."

"Maybe it was a robbery?" Lilly guessed.

Scotty shook his head. "Nothin' was taken."

"Doer panicked? He could have come in here, shot Enrique, panicked, and run."

He shrugged. "Not enough evidence to say anythin', really."

"And the neighbors didn't hear anything." Lilly sighed, scrutinizing the stain on the floor again. "I can't imagine someone firing a gun in a nice neighborhood like this and no one noticing."

"Police have been askin' people up and down the street all mornin'. Nobody's said anythin' yet."

The place looked exactly as it had in the photos. Nothing looked out of place or moved. Lilly walked around the area one more time before shaking her head.

"I don't see anything the police haven't already seen. I think we should have a talk with—"

"Scotty?"

Both of them whirled, and Lilly had her gun halfway out of its holster before she recognized the woman standing in the hallway.

"Pam?" Scotty asked incredulously, releasing his hold on his gun. "What are you doin' here?"

She eyed Lilly, who still had her gun half-drawn. "What's she doing here?" Then hastily, she added, "I'm sorry if I sounded rude. I'm just wondering."

"No problem," Lilly said, putting her gun back into the holster. "Scotty and I thought we'd have a look at the crime scene."

"You have a lead?" Pam asked hopefully.

Scotty shook his head. "We don't have anythin' but we're tryin'. What are you doin' here, Pam?"

She pointed down the hallway to one of the open rooms. "I was getting some things packed. Since it's a…crime scene, I thought it would be best for Trevor and me to leave for a while. Ramiro said we could stay with them until…well, until this blows over."

Scotty nodded. "That's probably a good idea. You'd be safer too."

Pam paused, her eyes wide. "Safer? You think whoever did this to Enrique will come back?"

He shrugged. "It's a possibility. No need to take chances though, right?"

Was is appropriate to ask questions now? Normally, she wouldn't have hesitated, but it was Scotty's family. Was it okay to pry, even with a detective's right? Lilly stepped forward hesitantly, glancing at Scotty. When he didn't object, she asked tentatively, "Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

Pam shook her head. "Of course not, if it helps find whoever did this."

"About what time did you find Enrique?"

"I don't know…at about seven thirty last night?"

Scotty started. "What? Last _night?_ And you didn't call me 'til this morning?"

"Enrique had to go through surgery and we were scared to death through the entire night," Pam defended, wiping away a stray tear. "We didn't think to call anyone 'til the morning."

"Seven thirty," Lilly cut in, noting it in her legal pad. "So you left the house at about seven ten? For what?"

"I was…I was picking up Trevor from his soccer game." She pressed her hand to her mouth, clearly holding in tears. "Enrique and I had a stupid argument before I left, something about leaving the microwave door open. Enrique was the one who was supposed to pick Trevor up. If only I hadn't been the one to go…"

"Don't blame yourself," Scotty interrupted, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If you were home, you'd probably be hurt too."

She nodded, sniffling back tears. "I know. I know, it's just…why did this happen? Enrique's a good guy, never hurt anyone. Everyone likes him. I just don't know who would do this."

Lilly paused, waiting for her to get her tears under control. Scotty's hand on her shoulder seemed to work wonders for that, as Pam managed to wipe away most of the wetness from her eyes.

Clearing her throat, Lilly asked, "Did you have any visitors yesterday? Anyone suspicious?"

Pam shook her head slowly. "I don't think so. Eric—our next door neighbor—came by at around six, asking for Enrique. They went into the garage for a little bit. I didn't see anyone else the whole day."

"Eric," Lilly echoed, making a note of it in her notepad. "Left side neighbor or right side?"

"Left." Pam paused, seeming to realize something. "You don't think Eric did this? He's a good man, I don't think he would do anything like this."

"Covering the bases," Lilly explained. "Do you know what they talked about?"

Pam shook her head. "They were in the garage for maybe twenty minutes. Then Eric left."

"Do you own a gun?"

"What?" Pam laughed softly, incredulously. "No, I don't. Are you suggesting that _I_ shot Enrique?" She shot a suddenly hostile glare at Lilly, backing away a step. "I _love_ Enrique, why would I shoot him?"

Scotty stepped forward, holding up a hand. "Nah, that's not what she means, Pam. We just wanna know where the attacker got his weapon from. If Enrique had a gun, that could be the assault weapon. If not, the attacker brought the gun with him."

Her cheeks pinking in embarrassment, Pam flashed Lilly a mortified look. "Oh…I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me."

"It's okay," Lilly told her, smiling consolingly. "You've been through a lot. I understand." She flipped the legal pad closed and nodded to Scotty. "I think we have enough. We'll be going now."

"You want me to stay 'til you're done packin'?" Scotty asked softly, rubbing Pam's shoulder.

Pam nodded gratefully. "Would you? I'd feel…safer."

"Sure." He glanced at Lilly. "You gonna be okay?"

"Sure. I think I'll have a talk with Eric next door."

Lilly moved toward the door, but to her surprise, Scotty caught her wrist. He hesitated a moment before murmuring, "Be careful, Lil."

She stared at him for a second, caught off guard. _Be careful?_ He only very rarely told her that, and only when he was truly concerned. Not when there wasn't any apparent danger, and talking with the neighbor didn't seem particularly perilous.

"I think that goes without saying," she said slowly, with a smile.

He released her, nodding. "Yeah, sure. I know. Just wanted to tell you."

Shooting him a last quizzical glance, Lilly left the house. Outside, even with the sun glaring down, it was still cold enough to make her shiver. She slipped on her gloves and crossed over to the house on the left. It was similarly small and simple but painted red instead of blue, like Pam's house. There was a car in the driveway, so Lilly strode up to the door and knocked.

After a long moment, the blinds at the window beside the door were pushed aside. A small face peered out at her curiously. It was a child, maybe nine or ten, with dark curls and wide inquisitive eyes.

"Hi," Lilly mouthed, waving to the boy. "Open the door?"

He smiled and shook his head.

She bent down into a crouch so she could see on eye level with the boy. "Why not?" Lilly asked, smiling.

He giggled and made a silly face into the window but didn't answer. Lilly couldn't help but pull a face of her own. At her expression, the boy laughed and crossed his eyes, pulling on his ears.

The sound of footsteps interrupted their silliness. "Jerry," someone reprimanded sharply, pulling the boy away from the window. Lilly straightened up as the door opened.

"Who are you?" the woman behind the door demanded suspiciously. She was a slender, graceful-looking black woman in an apron and what looked to be home clothes. Her long hair was pulled back into a quick, messy ponytail, and behind her, Jerry clung to her leg.

Lilly held up her badge to placate her. "Hi, Detective Lilly Rush, Philly homicide. Do you mind if I talk to you or your husband?"

At the word _homicide,_ the woman went wide-eyed. "What…what is this about? Who's been killed? Not Eric? Oh God, not my husband!"

"Not Eric," Lilly assured her. "No one's been killed. This is about Enrique Valens, your neighbor?"

That gave the woman some pause. "Enrique? What's happened to him?"

Lilly looked at her in surprise. "No one's spoken to you about this yet?"

"No, I just got home. I was shopping all morning. What's this about?"

Well, that explained why the police hadn't questioned her yet. "Can we step inside?" Lilly asked instead, shivering in the cold. The warmth that seeped from inside felt wonderful, and she eyed the fireplace crackling in the living room.

The woman stepped aside instantly. "Of course! I'm so sorry I've kept you out in the cold. Come inside, please."

Gratefully, Lilly stepped inside, taking off her gloves and pulling out her legal pad and a pen. With Jerry scampering in front of them, the woman led Lilly into the living room, and together, they sat in front of the fire as Jerry settled himself on the carpet with a pencil and paper.

"I'm sorry, Eric's not in right now," the woman said, "but what can I tell you?"

"Your name first," Lilly answered, flipping her legal pad open to a fresh page.

"Grace. Grace Jackson."

"Alright, Mrs. Jackson, do you know Enrique well?"

Grace nodded. "We talk from time to time, and Enrique invites us over for dinner occasionally. What's happened to him? Is he okay?"

"He was shot last night," Lilly told her. "His condition was critical, but he seems to be okay now. He's in the hospital."

"Oh my god," Grace breathed, her hand over her mouth. Her eyes darted momentarily to her son, clearly wondering if this was something for a child's ears. Jerry seemed to be preoccupied with whatever he was drawing, though, so she turned back to Lilly. "What happened?"

Lilly smiled. "I was hoping you could tell me. Pamela told me that your husband went over to see Enrique at about six?"

Grace shook her head. "If he did, I didn't know. I didn't come home until later. Eric goes over there from time to time to talk with Enrique. It isn't unusual."

"Do you know what they talk about?"

"Oh yes. They never talk about anything else. It's always about the soccer league."

Lilly paused. "Soccer league?"

Grace nodded. "Yes, Eric and Enrique started this junior soccer team together for the kids. They're really into soccer, and since they can't play themselves—no time, you know—they set up a team for kids. Children all around the neighborhood are in it. Jerry's in it too."

"They had practice last night?" Lilly asked, remembering that Pam had gone to pick up Trevor before returning to find Enrique in the living room.

"Yes, they did. That's where Jerry was. Eric went to pick him up at around seven. He came back at about eight."

Lilly glanced at her. "How far away is practice?"

Grace shrugged. "They practice in the park nearby. About five, ten minutes away? Practice gets out at seven fifteen."

"And where did Eric go after that?"

"After that?" Grace repeated, confused.

"After picking Jerry up," Lilly clarified. "If he went straight to the park and back, he should have been home by seven thirty at the latest."

"Oh." Grace paused, her brow furrowed in thought. "I…I don't know. Sometimes he takes Jerry to the ice cream shop after practice. I thought that's where they'd gone…" She trailed off and looked down at the son in question. "Jerry? Where did you and Daddy go last night after practice?"

"Nowhere," Jerry answered, looking up from his drawing. "We stayed at practice 'til real late yesterday."

Lilly leaned forward in interest. "Why?"

Jerry shrugged a thin shoulder. "Daddy and Mr. Elliot had a fight. Then they went to the side and talked for a long time."

Lilly and Grace exchanged the same, questioning look. Lilly asked, "Do you know what they were arguing about, Jerry?"

"Something about Coach," Jerry answered. "He wasn't there yesterday. Where was he?"

"He wasn't there?" Grace repeated in surprise. "Who coached, then?"

"Mr. Elliot stayed and made us run practices," Jerry said, making a face. "I don't really like him. He's kind of mean sometimes."

"Mean?" Lilly repeated.

"Got a temper, Ronald Elliot," Grace explained with a sigh. "His son is on the team, and sometimes, when the coach—Enrique—can't make practice, Ronald steps in."

"Enrique's the coach?" Lilly asked. "Then he should have been at the practice last night?"

Grace shrugged. "He didn't say anything about not going. Usually he calls the families to tell them that he can't make it. He didn't yesterday."

"Hmm," Lilly murmured, scribbling down some notes. "Last few questions, Mrs. Jackson. Were you home last night from seven to seven thirty?"

Grace nodded, so Lilly continued. "Did you hear any strange noises? And did you happen to see anyone entering or leaving the Valens house?"

Slowly, Grace shook her head. "Nothing strange. I wasn't looking outside, so I couldn't tell you if anyone went to the Valens', but I did hear something that sounded like a car door slam. Maybe someone stopped on the street. I don't know that whoever it was stopped by Enrique's, though."

"You were alone?" Lilly asked. She doubted the woman was a suspect, but it never hurt to be sure.

"Yes," Grace said, "but I was on the phone with my friend Annie Sutton until about seven thirty-five. You can ask her about it."

"I will. Thank you, Mrs. Jackson," Lilly said, rising. "That's all I need to know for now. When Eric comes back, tell him to stay in town. We might need to ask him a few questions."

"Of course." Grace rose also and accompanied Lilly to the front door. "If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to call or visit. I want to know who did this to Enrique."

She reached for the door, but before she could open it, someone knocked. With a bemused expression, Grace pulled the door open.

"Hi," came the familiar voice. "Scotty Valens, Philly homicide. I was wondering if my partner's still here?"

Lilly grinned at the sight of him all bundled up on the porch. "Yeah, I was just finishing up."

Was that her imagination, or did his eyes brighten a little at the sight of her? She shook her head slightly, banishing the silly thought.

"Hey, Lil," Scotty said, stamping his feet against the cold. "You ready to go?"

Lilly nodded. "Yeah. Eric's not home, but his wife, Mrs. Jackson, told me some things we might need to check up on."

"Okay, great. Let's go then."

Lilly stepped past Grace and her son into the cold outside. "Thank you for the help," Lilly said, smiling at them. Together, she and Scotty walked down the steps and continued down the sidewalk to his car parked in front of Enrique's house.

"How's Pam?" Lilly asked, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Doin' okay, considerin'," Scotty answered, shrugging. "I told her I'd give her a ride to my dad's house."

Lilly stopped, shooting him a surprised glance. "Now?" But they'd ridden together in Scotty's car, leaving hers back at the office. She still needed a ride, but she didn't want to have another go at meeting Scotty's family, especially at Ramiro's house. Besides, Scotty would probably want to go inside and talk with his family for a while, which would make her all the more uncomfortable as she waited. Maybe it would be best just to call a cab, or walk back to the office. It wasn't that far anyway.

"Yeah, now." He glanced at her and stopped too. "What's wrong?"

She shot him a smile. "It's nothing." She was being ridiculous. She could face hardened criminals and serial killers without batting an eye, but she couldn't face the idea of meeting Scotty's family again? She was more of a coward than she'd thought.

"It's nothing," she repeated, pulling the passenger door open quickly. "Let's go."

"Sure," Scotty said, glancing at her inquisitively. But he didn't ask anything, only helped Pam get her suitcase into the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat.

"It's not far," Scotty said, more for Lilly's benefit than Pam's. "Only about thirty minutes away."

Wonderful. Thirty minutes to figure out how exactly to interact with family. _Oh come on,_ she thought irritably. _You've talked with hundreds of people before. This is no different._

But it was different, on some level. This was Scotty's _family._ Strangers or not, some part of her wanted to put on a good impression. To show that yes, Scotty's partner was good and nice and…deserving.

Deserving of him? Good God, where had _that_ thought sprung from? She sounded like a nervous girlfriend, for goodness sake! Hurriedly, she clamped down on that train of thought and tried to turn her mind to the case. The case, the case…

Pulling to a gentle stop at a stoplight, Scotty glanced surreptitiously over to Lilly. She looked deep in thought, her brow furrowed as she stared straight ahead. What was she thinking about? The case maybe, probably. She had that look on her face that she got when she was trying to figure something out. If anyone could solve this case, he had no doubt she could. She was the best detective he'd ever met, with an uncanny ability to drag the truth out of even the most unwilling suspects. Once again, he felt a wave of gratitude that she'd volunteered to take the case.

They were a couple of minutes away from his father's house now, pulling into an older neighborhood with large houses spaced farther and farther apart. His father had worked hard all his life to buy a house that his large family could enjoy. The result was a two-story home with enough rooms to house almost all the relatives of the Valens family when it came time for the holidays. Scotty rolled through the list of family and counted at least twenty-six who would be staying at the house for Christmas week. It would be a wonderfully loud and festive Christmas—or it would have been, if Enrique wasn't stuck in the hospital.

They pulled into the driveway, which was already packed with cars.

"We're here," Scotty said unnecessarily. "Trevor's already here?"

Pam nodded. "Ramiro took him home earlier from the hospital." She opened the door and got out.

Scotty looked over at Lilly and was surprised to find a look of growing dismay on her face.

"You okay?" he asked, wondering what was eating at her. She'd had that apprehensive look on her face since he'd mentioned they were dropping Pam off at his father's.

She looked at him distractedly. "Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine."

Like hell. She looked like she was going to bolt any minute. Was the thought of meeting his family so frightening? He'd seen how reluctant she'd been in the hospital, but he'd thought that it was only because she wasn't ready to be crammed into a small room jam-packed with twenty people. Was it because she was actually _afraid_ to meet his family?

_No way,_ he thought, pulling the keys out of the ignition. Lilly didn't _get_ scared. Sure, when she was staring a gun down its barrel, she was shaking, but over meeting his family? No way. There was nothing bad about it. His family were all nice folk, and they treated guests right. So what was there to be scared about?

He pushed open his door and stepped out, calling to Lilly, "You comin'?"

She didn't move. "I…I think I'll wait out here."

"Wait? Come inside."

"No, it's okay. You won't take long, right?"

He leaned on the car roof, sighing as he ducked his head back inside. "It's freezing out here. Come inside. Won't take long."

She hesitated, her expression for once unguarded. In one of those rare moments, Scotty could read her face like a book. Holy crap, she _was_ scared, scared of his family. Of what, exactly, he had no idea, but apparently, the thought of meeting all his relatives scared the crap out of her. She was sitting frozen in her seat, glancing at him a bit nervously but obviously trying to hide it.

He knew he shouldn't say anything. If he so much as mentioned her being scared, she'd get defensive, and somehow, they'd end up arguing, and the car ride back to the office would be tense and uncomfortable. Or she'd say she was fine, and that would piss him off because he knew she didn't mean it, and they'd still end up in a frosty silence.

Of course, he'd never been too good at holding in words. So he said, "I don't get why you're scared to meet my family."

As he'd expected, she looked offended and indignant almost instantly. "I'm not scared. I'm fine."

Wow. She'd gotten defensive _and_ told him she was fine. He was starting to get a little pissed, having no idea what she was getting so worked up over.

"It's just family," he said slowly. "It's nothin'. They're all nice. I don't get what's eatin' at you."

She sighed irritably, and he knew then that something big was bothering her because she didn't usually get upset so easily. He tried to take a closer look at her, but she'd slipped on that damn Ice Queen mask again. When the hell had she done that? Half a second ago, he'd been able to tell what she was feeling practically before she could.

Before he could say anything more, she opened the car door and got out. "Okay, let's go."

She walked up the path with slow, steady strides, feeling Scotty's eyes on the back of her neck. She'd almost snapped at him back there. What the hell was wrong with her? And why _was_ she getting so worked up over this? It was just another family, just some more strangers. She met strangers all the time on the job; this shouldn't have been any different. It wasn't as if she was going to meet her boyfriend's family or something.

_Good God, I've got to stop thinking things like that,_ Lilly thought, putting a hand to her forehead. Maybe the cold was affecting her more than she'd thought. Maybe she was coming down with something.

Ahead of them, Pam had already opened the door and greeted whoever was inside. Lilly's strides slowed unconsciously, and she paused, watching the doorway.

"Come on," Scotty said from behind her, his voice annoyed. "Let's go."

And now he was pissed because he'd seen through her, seen her nervousness. With a sigh, Lilly brushed hair out of her face and followed him to the door.

"Scotty!" It was Ramiro in the doorway, waving to his son. "And your partner." He nodded to Lilly, who smiled back.

Scotty and his father launched into some Spanish, and Lilly stood uncomfortably between them. Once or twice, their eyes traveled to her and she got the feeling that they were talking about her.

She suddenly realized another reason she was reluctant to meet with Scotty's family—they could speak Spanish 'til kingdom come about her, talking about all sorts of things, and she'd never understand. Hell, they could be _insulting_ her for all she knew and she'd never know any better.

But why did she care so much about what they thought anyway? She'd never put much stock into other people's opinions anyway. Working as a woman cop, she'd learned to ignore other's comments, which were more often hurtful than not. She shouldn't care about what Scotty's family thought of her.

But some part of her did, for some inexplicable reason. Shaking her head, she brushed away the thought and tried to get a feel of what Scotty and his father were discussing.

"Come inside," Ramiro said eventually, in English.

Scotty shot her glance, and she shrugged, stepping inside in front of him. The house was relatively large, even bigger than it had looked from the outside. Scotty had warned her that most of his relatives were staying here, but she didn't see anyone other than Ramiro. Maybe the rest of them were still at the hospital.

They tramped into the living room, where Ramiro and Lilly took seats. Scotty, however, remained standing.

"I'll go get some drinks," he said, patting his father on the back. "Be right back."

He was leaving? Panic shot through her, and she half-rose. "Scotty?"

He smiled tightly at her, and the look in his eyes told her he was doing this on purpose. Damn him. What was he doing?

"Play nice," he teased, touching her shoulder briefly before disappearing into another room.

Play nice? She was very nearly panicking, and she knew he knew it by the small, half-smile he'd flashed her. He was definitely going to hear it later, the bastard.

Slowly, she sat back down and nervously smiled at Ramiro.

He chuckled. "My son. Always transparent, isn't he?"

Lilly looked at him quizzically. "What?"

"He likes you very much," Ramiro said, settling back into the chair with a fond smile on his face.

_That doesn't mean anything,_ she thought instantly. Of course Scotty liked her; they were partners. She might have been blushing. Maybe. Or maybe the room was just too hot. "I'm sure he does," she answered casually. "We're good friends."

Ramiro turned a curious gaze on her. "Friends?"

Lilly forced a smile. "Yes. We've worked together for many years now."

He nodded slowly. "Ah," Ramiro said, smiling knowingly. "I understand."

Understand? He understood _what_, exactly? Lilly shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"You like him too?"

She nodded. "Of course. Like I said, we're very good friends."

"You're keeping him in line then?" Ramiro chuckled. "Scotty—always getting into trouble. You keeping him from getting shot?"

"More like the other way around," Lilly said wryly, grinning. "He saved my life."

Now Ramiro's eyes registered true interest. "Did he?"

Suddenly realizing that she'd opened herself up to a boatload of questions and memories, Lilly said hastily, "It was a long time ago. Maybe Scotty can tell you about it some time."

"Maybe," Ramiro agreed. He seemed to sense that Lilly didn't want to talk about it, and for that, she was relieved. This wasn't altogether too difficult. She could just shut away her emotions and treat Ramiro like a person from a case. Nothing personal about it, just asking questions and answering like she was on a case. Simple.

Scotty returned with drinks, and they spent the next few minutes talking comfortably—in English, thank God. Eventually, Scotty told his father that they needed to be leaving, and Lilly shook his hand before walking back to the car.

"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Scotty asked, grinning a little as he opened the car door.

"It was okay," Lilly admitted. At least his father had seemed to like her…And why did she care about that anyway?

"Told you it wouldn't be bad," Scotty said, ducking inside.

"Whatever," Lilly said, smiling at him. "Take me home."

* * *

**Leave a review on your way out. Please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Nothing of Cold Case is mine. **

* * *

THREE

"_Lil. Lil, I'm hungry." _

_Lilly turned to her, annoyed, and tried to glare. But a look at the thin, childish face melted her anger away. Of course Chris was hungry. It was Christmas morning and they hadn't eaten since the day before—lunch? Breakfast, maybe? And in any case, it wasn't Chris she was angry at. It was the woman lying sprawled on the couch, an empty bottle in her hand and a delirious grin on her face._

"_Lil," the woman said, rolling her head, "get—get your sister something to…eat." _

_Curbing her anger, Lilly said sullenly, "There's nothing in the refrigerator." _

_The woman—their own _mother_, for God's sake—chuckled. "What? You're—you must be wrong. You didn't even look." _

_She didn't have to. The refrigerator had been empty yesterday, maybe as early as the day before. They'd eaten the last of the Spam on Christmas Eve. Chris hadn't been worried; Chris had been certain Santa Claus would bring them a feast wrapped in red and green paper and topped with a bow as big as Texas. Which was stupid. Santa Claus didn't exist, everyone knew. Everyone except little kids who had nothing else to believe in. _

_Lilly couldn't hide the crushing disappointment she'd felt that morning, when she'd stumbled out of her room at the first hint of daylight, hoping beyond hope that there would be _something_ in the living room, even though they didn't have a tree. But the living room had been as dark and empty as they'd left it the night before. No presents, no notes, no food. And no Santa Claus. _

_Sluggishly, she got to her feet, immensely tired of the hunger pangs shooting through her and struggling to care. Would their mother care if her two little girls passed out and died from hunger right in front of her? Probably not. As long as she had her bottle of joy, she'd be alright. Disgust filled Lilly, and she crossed the room to her mother's purse. It was very nearly empty too, but there was—thank God—two crumpled dollars at the bottom. Just enough for maybe a candy bar or a bag of chips at the vending machine. She and Chris could split, and maybe it would tide them over until Lilly could find something else. Or until their mother could get her head on straight enough to realize she had children that needed caring for. _

_Lilly shook her head to dismiss the second thought. She'd given up hope on that a long, long time back. Slipping on her worn shoes, she told Chris to stay put and closed the door behind her. _

_To her shock, outside was dark. She felt a sort of wrenching, like she'd been pulled out of one scene and thrust into another. It was pitch black outside, and the street was lit by a single lamppost at the end of the road. Lilly started walking automatically. Where was she going, though? A moment ago, she'd had a purpose, but she couldn't figure out now what she was doing on the street, alone, so late. Had something happened…? _

_Something chafed at her palm, and she glanced down. A single, crumpled ten-dollar bill. Her heart leaped at the sight of it, at the sight of so much money. Food, most definitely, food for at least a couple of days. She could go to the convenience store—_

_The convenience store. It suddenly hit her—she was headed to the convenience store to buy a drink for her mother, who'd nearly gone into a rage because her booze supply had been depleted. Lilly had been terrified, only too willing to grab that ten-dollar bill and get out of the house. She had a feeling now that she'd been stupid and rash—what on earth was a ten-year-old doing, wandering on her own at one in the morning? But the convenience store wasn't far...a few blocks at most. She could make it. No need to worry. _

_And then there were footsteps behind her. She tried to ignore them for the longest time, but they sounded like they were following her. Heart rate ratcheting up in her terror, Lilly risked a quick, furtive glance behind her. There was a man, clothed in darkness, obviously trailing her. He was following her, _her_, a ten-year-old girl in the middle of the night. She had an instinctive feeling that he was not a good guy, and that she should…run. _

_Clenching the money in her hands, she broke into a panicked sprint, trying to remember which way it was to the convenience store. A couple of blocks ahead, right? Turn left…no right. Was it left or right? God, she couldn't remember, and this man was so close she could feel his breath on her neck, and she had to get away, she had to get away—_

_His hand clamping like a vise on her arm yanked her to a stop. In terror, Lilly let out a panicked shriek, but no one came. She was alone. Alone with a madman. _

"_Hello, little girl," he whispered, his voice harsh. "What are you doing out her all alone?"_

_Lilly struggled against his grip, trying to scream again. But this time, he clamped his other hand over her lips, drawing her close. _

"_I said," he purred, smiling, "what are you doing out here?"_

_She didn't like his smile. It terrified her beyond imagining. There was something in it that made her kick at him and tear at his fingers in a desperate attempt to escape. But he was just too strong. _

"_Have you got any money?" _

_Oh, thank God. He wanted money. Money she could give him. Shaking uncontrollably, she shoved the ten dollars at him, inadvertently whacking him in the face with her hand. One hand released her arm but the other stayed clamped around her mouth. She felt him grab the money from her hand and nearly went limp with relief. He was taking it. He'd let her go, of course, she had nothing left to give him—_

_And then he hit her. His fist connected squarely with her jaw, and her head snapped back. She was too shocked to move, only whimpered in quiet pain and surprise. He'd hit her. Why had he done that? She'd given him the money. What more did he want? _

_And then he was striking her again, and laughing, and she was screaming and crying and fighting him every step of the way. She saw stars again and again, and she knew in the next moment, even as she kicked and scratched at him, she was going to die—_

And she sat upright with a wild gasp, one hand touching her swollen jaw as a scream tore out of her throat. She had to get away. He was hitting her, and she had to get away.

But…her jaw wasn't swollen. Her fingers met smooth, unbroken skin. She wasn't in any pain, and there wasn't anyone in the room at all. She was in a bed, in a house—safe.

A dream. She let out a shuddering breath and tried to calm herself. Dammit, it had been a long, long time since she'd had that dream. All the running and screaming—she thought for sure that she'd left that behind. She hadn't had that dream since…well, since she'd been shot. Since then, any nightmare she had, it was about being shot. Being shot she could deal with—it was part of the job, it was understandable. But running from that man as a child…she couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness and pure, raw terror.

What had brought it on?

Suddenly, she remembered what she'd been dreaming about before the attack. Christmas Day. With Chris and her mother in their house. Refrigerator cleaned out, and the house bereft of any decorations or festivity. She'd been twelve that year.

She glanced around her room suddenly, feeling lonely. So many years. It had been so many years since she'd lived like that with her mother and sister, but it was still the same. She was still haunted, and the house was still dark and undecorated. There was still no tree and no presents and no joy. She felt…empty.

And suddenly, the dark house was too much—reminded her of too much. Throwing back the covers, she threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. She shoved on her sneakers and grabbing her coat, and then she was out the door.

She started off with a slow jog down the street, not caring where she was headed. It was enough to be moving, to feel…alive. She concentrated on the stretch of her muscles, on the strain of her lungs, on the heavy hammering on her heart. Eventually, she slipped into a familiar rhythm of pumping her legs and feeling the burn of her lungs. She let her body take over, blanking out her mind.

It was a long while before she stopped. Her feet brought her to a halt before she could consciously decide to, and she snapped to attention.

A familiar door. She'd only been here once, but she recognized it instantly. Scotty's apartment.

What the hell? She didn't even remember entering the building, let alone climbing the stairs to get to his floor. She remembered running and then…the door.

Had she subconsciously wanted to come here? To Scotty? _Why?_

She was thinking too hard on it. Scotty was her close friend, the only one she could go to under stress. Miller lived practically on the other side of town, and she didn't know where the rest of her colleagues lived. Scotty was the closest, so it was logical for her to go to him. Nothing to it.

But still—why? What could he do for her? She'd had nightmares before, and she'd always, always dealt with them on her own. She didn't need some damn knight in shining armor; she'd always had herself, and that had always been enough.

With an irritable sigh, Lilly leaned against the wall for a moment to rest before walking toward the stairs. Yes, a good, long walk back home would do her some good, probably calm down her thoughts. She could go home and forget about all this.

And yet…she thought of her dark, empty walls, a house that was supposed to comfort but instead felt constricting. It was so much larger and more beautiful than what she'd had with her mother and sister, but the feeling inside was the same. Empty and impersonal. Like no one lived in it at all.

And then she was knocking on Scotty's door, barely aware of it. When she realized what she'd done, she stopped, breath caught in her throat. What could she say to him? She had absolutely no reason to be there. He'd assume the worst, like someone had been shot or something, and when he realized that she was there because of a stupid nightmare, he'd send her away with a sigh of relief and a patronizing look. Pity. She couldn't take it. Damn it, why did she have to be so _stupid?_

She spun on her heel and prepared to bolt. But of course, she had the worst luck in the world, and the door opened before she could take a step.

"Lil?"

She spun around again, opening her mouth. There were a thousand thoughts running through her head, but somehow, she couldn't voice any of them.

He was leaning on the door, a confused expression on his face. He wore a pair of sweatpants and…and no shirt.

Distracted for a moment, she looked at him, tracing his torso with her eyes. Not bad. She'd only ever seen him in suits, and she'd known he was strong, but she hadn't imagined his muscles. Or any imagining she'd done hadn't done him any justice whatsoever. And why the _hell_ was she even thinking this about her partner?

He caught her eyes, clearly amused. "Are you checkin' me out, Lil?"

"No! Of course not." She knew she was blushing furiously, and it would only be too obvious to him because of her pale skin. Damn it.

He smiled teasingly. "Is there a reason you're at my apartment in the middle of the night?"

Damn, he had a nice smile. And damn, she seriously had to get her thoughts under control.

"I…"

His eyes suddenly swept her up and down, and she blushed harder, if that was possible. Concern flickered in his eyes, and he reached out to touch her arm.

"What the hell are you doin' out in the cold wearin' stuff like that?" he demanded, grabbing her and pulling her inside. "You're freezin' to death!"

She was abruptly aware of the cold. When she'd left her house, she hadn't thought to grab more than her coat. The run had warmed her up somewhat, and for the rest of the time, she'd been too preoccupied with her thoughts to even shiver. But now, running over and reality setting in, she realized she was trembling uncontrollably.

"Get inside," he said, dragging her into his living room and shutting the door. His voice was rough and angry. "What the hell were you thinkin'? You could have frozen to death!"

"I…I wasn't thinking straight," she stammered, shivering. Hell, she hadn't been thinking much at all.

"Jesus, it's minus somethin' degrees outside and you're in a t-shirt and a coat?" He was moving around now, grabbing things that she couldn't quite make out. Before she could ask, though, he'd returned with his coat and blankets. Gratefully, she sank down onto his couch and let him drape the blankets around her.

When he was sure he'd done the best he could do, Scotty stood in front of her, his arms crossed. His expression was still angry.

"What were you doin' out there?" he asked eventually, eyeing her. "You didn't drive here, did you? You wouldn't be that cold if you had."

"I was running," she explained. "Just running."

He raised an eyebrow. "In the middle of the night. In freezin' temperatures."

What could she tell him? He would never understand what she was running from. After a moment of debating, she decided on the truth—part of it, at least.

"I needed to get away," she said quietly. "I couldn't stay there anymore."

"Where? Your house? What's wrong with it?"

He wasn't understanding, but she hadn't expected him to. "It's dark," she said, not looking at him. "And—and empty. There's nothing in it. Kind of like the house I used to live in. With my mom." She looked at him tentatively and saw only confusion and fading anger in his eyes. With a sigh, she admitted, barely above a whisper, "I had a dream."

Finally, finally, she saw a flicker of recognition, of comprehension, in his dark eyes. "Oh," he said softly, the anger bleeding out of his posture. Slowly, he came to sit beside her, close but not touching.

Eventually, he said hesitantly, "You wanna…you wanna talk about it?"

He was so…kind. Lilly smiled a little, drawing the blankets closer. "No. Let's just…sit."

He nodded. "Okay. Sure." He leaned down, elbows on his knees. Together, they sat in darkness for a long while, just silent with their own thoughts. Lilly sighed comfortably, letting the warmth seep into her. She really had no idea what had gotten into her all of a sudden. Coming _here?_ To Scotty's house, in the middle of the night? What was she _thinking?_ As nice as it was, it was inappropriate. He was her coworker, for God's sake. She shouldn't have come.

She gave a sudden, self-deprecating laugh. "I must be crazy. Sorry about this, all of it. I think I should go home." She stood, letting the blankets fall back onto the couch.

"Go? Now? In the middle of the night?" Scotty answered incredulously. "You're gonna walk home?"

Lilly looked at him. "I shouldn't have come. It was stupid of me."

"Lil," Scotty said sharply. "Stay."

What? He'd said _what?_

At her shocked look, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, it's cold. You can't walk."

"I can't stay," Lilly protested. "It's…it's wrong."

"Why?" he shot back.

"W—why?" Lilly spluttered, wondering if he'd seriously just asked that. The look on his face told her he was wondering the same thing. "We're partners," she said hastily. "Coworkers. We shouldn't be personally…involved."

Scotty snorted. "We _ain't_ personally involved. There's you, and there's me. We're friends."

"Exactly," Lilly tried. "We're friends. This could be taken the wrong way."

"Who would know?" he argued.

"Are you really arguing for me to stay?" Lilly asked, her mind whirling as she tried to assess his motives. "Why?"

It was his turn to look flustered. "Why?" He looked like he hadn't really thought about it. "Well…because! Because I'm your friend, and I'm worried about you. Friends worry, don't they? Nothin's wrong 'bout that."

Friends worried. Nothing wrong about that. Of course he was right. She was the one getting all worked up over nothing. He was right. Even if she slept over, it wouldn't be as if they were doing anything wrong. She could just take the couch. It would be seen as one friend helping another one out. Nothing at all inappropriate. So why did she feel so uncomfortable about it?

Maybe because she thought there was more to it than friendliness.

Lilly flushed, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. Getting flustered over meeting Scotty's family, checking out Scotty's body, then thinking that there was something more behind his completely friendly offer for her to stay? She was going off the deep end. Definitely.

"Sorry," she muttered, sinking back down onto the couch. "It's nothing. I'm just really tired, I guess."

He stared at her intently, using that cop stare he used on suspects when he tried to figure them out. "Lil, is somethin' wrong?"

Wrong? No, nothing wrong. She was just having near inappropriate thoughts about her partner.

Aloud, she said weakly, "Like I said, I'm tired. Can I just crash here for the night?"

Staring at her strangely, Scotty nodded. "Sure thing. Whatever. Let me get you some pillows."

Still giving her a puzzled look, he disappeared into the bedroom. By the time he returned with pillows and an extra blanket, she'd already passed out on the couch.

He barely slept all night. He could hardly stop thinking about Lilly, sprawled on _his_ couch, sleeping in _his_ house. Not exactly the way he'd frequently imagined it, but close enough. He had no idea what she was doing here, but if he closed his eyes, he could just imagine that she'd come for him. Because she'd been seeking comfort from whatever evil dreams she'd had, and she'd come straight for him.

He turned in his bed and sighed. It was…inexplicable. He couldn't keep thoughts of Lilly out of his head. How she looked at him, how blue her eyes were, how she was so tough and fierce and somehow fragile all at once.

How the _hell_ could he have allowed himself to have feelings for her?

Oh, he wasn't fooling himself anymore. He definitely had feelings for her. He'd been in love before, with Elisa, and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt what feelings were. He wasn't as deep in with Lilly as he had been with Elisa, but it was growing. He was getting close, closer to her and also closer to something that felt dangerously close to…serious.

He was still confused about her visit. When he'd seen her in his doorway, he'd been so shocked he nearly shut the door again. Instead, he'd forced a smile, tried to act casual, all the while wondering what on earth had happened that had made her show up on his doorstep like that. She hadn't been hurt, right? She wasn't burned or bruised or, God forbid, shot. For a moment there, he thought her house had burned down or something, from the haunted look in her eyes.

What the hell had she been doing, running around in the middle of the night like that? She didn't live that far away from him, but it was still dangerous, damn it. Didn't she know that?

His rational side snorted. Of course she knew that. She was a cop, for goodness sake. She could take care of herself. But that didn't stop him from fretting about her.

He'd been confused about why she was there right up until she'd told him, almost timidly, that she'd had a dream. And then he was in familiar territory. How many times had Elisa come to him when she'd had nightmares? How many times had he had to stave off her demons by simply being there? If Lilly had been hurt any other way, he might not have known what to do, but dreams? He could deal with dreams. With Elisa, he'd held her as long as she needed, until she felt safe. With Lilly…well, he couldn't even _think_ about doing anything like that. He could just be there if she needed him.

It was morning again before he knew it. At six, unable to sleep, Scotty swung his legs out of bed, pulled on a shirt, and padded out into the living room, his heart thumping loudly.

He fully expected her to be gone. Surely she'd woken up and panicked. She was probably halfway to headquarters already, all smartly dressed and ready for work. They'd go on like nothing had ever happened.

But she was there. Incredibly, amazingly, when he stepped quietly out of his bedroom, Lilly was still there. Tucked into his blankets and head buried into his pillows, dead to the world.

She must have truly worn herself out last night. Scotty stopped at the end of the couch and slowly reached out a hand. Daring himself, he stroked her cheek softly, marveling at how beautiful she was, especially sleeping when she let all her guard down. His fingers wandered from her cheek to her lips, then to her long, lovely hair.

God, she was beautiful.

Deciding he'd risked enough, Scotty padded to the kitchen, a wide smile on his face. Well, as long as she was here, he'd give her a breakfast fit for a queen. He wasn't a phenomenal cook, but he knew things here and there.

He was halfway through with the third pancake when he felt Lilly's gaze on him. Turning, he found her leaning on the counter, her look unreadable.

"What?" he asked, smiling at the sight of her.

She crossed her arms, but she didn't look angry at least. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doin'?" he returned.

"Cooking, looks like."

He grinned at her. "Very good, Detective," he teased. "You get a pancake for that."

It made her smile, which made him feel pretty good about himself. He flipped the pancake on to a plate and handed it to her.

"Try it," he said, grinning.

He half-expected her to freak. He thought she'd drop the plate like a hot potato, stutter that she needed to go, and bolt, but she surprised him again. "Fork?" she asked.

"Left drawer, under the sink," he told her, pouring another circle of batter onto the pan. "Syrup's in the refrigerator."

She hunted down what she needed and took a bite. He held his breath.

A moment later, he wished he had a camera to capture the surprised delight on her face when she swallowed.

"This is really good," she said in surprise, licking her lips.

"Why do you sound shocked?" he teased, turning back to the pan.

"I didn't know you could cook," she replied. "Didn't know you had time to. I mean, I never cook."

He nodded, smiling. "I can see that."

He finished up his plate of pancakes and ushered her into the living room. Sitting next to each other on the couch, they devoured their pancakes while Scotty surfed the TV. Eventually, he settled on a crime drama that he didn't usually watch but sometimes found interesting. Lilly seemed to get into it, her brow furrowing as she tried to guess who the killer was as the show progressed.

"It's the boyfriend," she said adamantly, fifteen minutes in. "I'm positive."

Scotty gave her a bemused look. "Why? All the evidence points to the business partner."

"Exactly. It's too obvious."

"He had motives, means, and opportunity," Scotty pointed out, chewing a mouthful of pancake. "And his alibi sucks. The boyfriend's got an alibi so solid it would take a sledgehammer to break through it."

Lilly argued, "No one saw the boyfriend at the party for a while, though. He could easily have slipped down the street, killed her, and come back, and no one would be any wiser."

Scotty shrugged. As great as a detective Lilly was, he was confident she was wrong this time. It was a TV show, not a real case. Her instincts couldn't extend _that_ far.

In any case, he soon found his eyes on her more often than they were on the screen. Even with a messy ponytail in a t-shirt and sweats, she was enchanting. He loved the way she got so into the show, and how she guessed with total certainty, and how she waved her fork around as she tried to make her point. It was only when he got so caught up in watching her and completely missed a question she was asking him that he realized the truth.

His feelings ran a lot deeper than he'd suspected. Too deep. Part of him was excited, but most of him was damn near terrified.

_It's fine_, he calmed himself. What could he do? Nothing. He'd just do nothing, and she'd never figure out what he felt, and he'd never open himself up to that whole boatload of hurt and pain again. It was simple and painless.

"I told you, you should have trusted me," Lilly laughed as the credits rolled onto the screen. "The boyfriend killed her, and the business partner was totally innocent."

Scotty grinned. "Dumb show."

She laughed and hit him lightly on the shoulder. "You're just a sore loser." She got up and took his plate from him.

"What are you doin'?" he asked, watching as she made her way back to the kitchen.

"Washing the dishes," she called back. "I can't cook, but I sure as hell can wash dishes."

He chuckled, turning off the TV and sitting back. Part of him still couldn't believe it. Lilly, Detective _Lilly Rush,_ Philadelphia homicide, had spent the night at his house, eaten the breakfast he'd cooked, and watched TV with him. For a moment, he imagined what it would be like if they did this every day. She would be in a relationship with him, of course, and they could wake up next to each other and relax the day away, everyday for the rest of their lives. If that had been true, he could have been struck by lightning and killed on the spot, and he would have died happy.

When she finished, Lilly sauntered back into the living room. Her phone rang, and she grabbed it, answering without looking to see who it was.

"Hello?"

She listened for a moment before mouthing, "Boss," to him. He smiled and nodded.

"No, Boss, I'm not at the office." She paced a little, smiling. "Yeah…I know. I won't go to the office, promise. Nope, I wasn't there last night. Yeah, I went home…Where am I now?"

Scotty glanced up interestedly, wondering what she'd say. Looking straight at him, she grinned and said, "Yeah, I'm at home. No, no one's here. Why do I sound like I'm smiling? Boss, how can you tell that?"

Scotty's smile widened. She was really adorable. He wondered if she paced like that and bit her lip when he called her.

She paused, one hand on her hip. "Yeah, Boss, I understand. No, it's okay, you don't have to. Yeah, say hi to your daughter for me. See you. Bye."

She shut the phone and sighed. "Why is he so suspicious?"

"'Cause you sneak into the office all the time when he tells you not to?" Scotty pretended to guess, looking at her innocently.

She laughed. "Not _all_ the time. I have stuff to do at home too."

"Like what?" he teased. "Brushing your cats?"

"Believe it or not," she answered, flopping down on the couch next to him, "that's really important."

He laughed. "I'm sure."

After a moment, he realized her eyes were on him again. She had that look in her eyes, the one she got when she was trying to figure something out. Was she…was she checking him out? No way. No chance in hell. But it kind of looked like it, didn't it? He fleetingly toyed with the idea that she was just as attracted to him as he was to her. Nah, again, no chance in hell. She was the Ice Queen, of all things. Hell would freeze over and Armageddon come before she felt anything for him. He wasn't really disappointed when he thought about it; he'd never expected anything from her, really. They were just fantasies he toyed with.

This time it was his phone that cut the silence. He reached forward to pick up it from its spot on the coffee table and flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Scotty? It's Pam. Enrique's awake."

He sobered instantly. He'd been so preoccupied with Lilly that not a thought about his cousin had crossed his mind. Damn it, what kind of cousin was he?

"How is he?" Scotty asked, starting out of his seat. "Okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. A little groggy, but I think it's from the medicine."

"He's well enough to talk?" Scotty asked. Lilly was shooting him a questioning look, and he whispered, "Enrique's awake."

"Yeah, I think so," Pam replied. "If you want to come down, I'm sure he could answer a few questions."

"Sure," Scotty said, looking around for his coat. "I'll be there soon."

He ended the call and glanced at Lilly. "Want to come?"

To his disappointment, she shook her head. "I think I'll follow up on the other leads. If you don't mind driving me home, I need to change."

Did he mind driving her? Was she kidding? He grabbed up his coat and headed for the bedroom. "Yeah, let me change real quick, and I'll drive you. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

* * *

**Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the kind reviews, guys! They really motivate me to write more. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing of Cold Case is mine.**

* * *

FOUR

Twenty minutes later, Lilly was knocking on Ronald Elliot's door, hoping he was home so she wouldn't have come here for nothing. Hopefully, she could just wrap this whole case up quickly and go home. But then again, when she thought of the lackluster holiday ahead, it might be best if the case stretched on. At least it would give her something to do.

The white door, paint scraped off and still peeling, swung open suddenly, revealing a man in his thirties, his hair wild and his eyes suspicious.

"Who are you?" he demanded, eyeing her.

"Detective Rush, Philly homicide," Lilly greeted, flashing her badge. "Mind if I come in?"

"Not 'til you tell me what this is about," he groused, eyes narrowed.

"This is about how Enrique Valens was shot two nights ago," she said bluntly, noting how his eyes widened. "Now are you going to let me in, or do you want to answer questions on your porch?"

He didn't move, seemingly in shock. "Wait—Enrique's dead?"

"No, he isn't, but he's been seriously wounded."

"Then why's this a homicide case? Nobody was killed, it's not your case."

Lilly smiled patiently. He thought she didn't know that? "Kind of a personal matter," she explained. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," he said after a moment. He let the door swing wide and walked into the house. Glancing inside, Lilly followed him, shutting the door. It was a small house and messy. Clothes and toys were strewn here and there, and the furniture was cluttered about in no particular arrangement. It didn't look like a vacuum cleaner had been in here since the place had been built.

"We can sit here," Ronald said, pointing to a couple of chairs at random. When they were seated, he asked, "So what brings you here?"

Lilly took her notepad from her coat pocket and flipped to a page. "Can you tell me what you were talking about with Eric Jackson two nights ago?"

"Man, I don't remember that," Ronald said, shaking his head. "Long time ago."

"Two nights," Lilly said pointedly. "It was after your soccer practice. You were arguing with Eric, something about the coach, Enrique?"

Recognition flickered in his eyes. "Oh, that. Yeah, we weren't really arguing. Just discussing, really."

"Discussing loudly," Lilly said skeptically, glancing at him over her legal pad.

Ronald snorted. "Yeah, whatever you want to call it. I was furious, sure, but not at Eric. I was mad as hell because that _bastard_ Enrique's been giving money to Tucker of all people. _Tucker._ That guy's nice and all, but there's something wrong with him."

"Tucker who?" Lilly asked.

"Tucker Quincy," Ronald answered, his hands clenching into fists.

"And why did it make you mad that Tucker's been getting money from Enrique?"

"Because a couple of months ago," Ronald ground out, "I asked for a loan from Enrique. Friend to friend, you know? He refused me. But he's gonna go give money to some bastard who's banging his wife?"

"Whoa whoa," Lilly said, holding up a hand in shock. "Wait a second there—Tucker and Pamela Valens are involved?"

Ronald shrugged. "I don't got any proof, but it sure looks like it. I mean, he's always fawning over her like some sort of love-struck idiot, and she's always nice to him. I figured it was because they'd done something, you know?"

"Do you think Enrique knows about it?" Lilly asked quickly. Oh, Scotty wasn't going to like this.

"Nah," Ronald said dismissively. "The guy's sharp and all, but he's dumb as shit when it comes to stuff like this. We go back a long way, you know. I had to give him relationship advice all the time. He's a naïve kid, wouldn't think his wife was cheating on him if she told him to his face."

Lilly noted it in her notepad. "What did you mean earlier about something being wrong with Tucker?"

Ronald shrugged. "It's just a hunch. A feeling, you know."

"I've been known to trust feelings," Lilly told him. "Usually works out for me."

"Yeah?" Ronald shook his head and sighed. "He's smooth. Real smooth. Something about his smile, you know? It's scary. Nice kid and all, but you think there's something more to what he says. Something in his eyes."

Ambiguous, but Lilly trusted instincts like these. They usually landed her a viable suspect or two.

"All right, Mr. Elliot," Lilly said, standing, "I think that's all I need from you for now. I'll be in touch."

Ronald paused, looking at her questioningly. "What? You ain't gonna ask me about an alibi or nothing?"

Lilly shook her head. "I already know you didn't do it. You were with Eric and his son after practice at the time of the assault. Unless you're telling me you did it?"

As expected, Ronald shook his head quickly. "I ain't got anything to do with what happened to Enrique. Sure, I was mad as hell at him for not helping me out, but he's my friend. Been my friend a long time. I ain't gonna shoot him for something like that."

She nodded again and smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Elliot. We'll be in touch."

* * *

Scotty was still in the hospital by the time she'd finished up the interview with Ronald Elliot, so Lilly figured she'd drop by to see if he had anything new to add and if he wanted to accompany her to find this Tucker Quincy. Luckily, this time, no one was in the room with Enrique but Pamela and Scotty, so she felt much more comfortable.

When she opened the door, Scotty glanced up and grinned. "Hey, Lil."

"Hey," she replied, coming forward to stand by the bed. Enrique, for his part, looked dead to the world again. "He's asleep?"

Scotty sighed. "Yeah, nodded off not too long after I came. Medications, they say."

"He tell you anything?" Lilly asked.

Scotty shrugged. "He doesn't remember a lot of it. Hit his head pretty good against the wall after he was shot."

Well, that was convenient. It didn't look like that case was close to wrapping itself up any time soon, not if their principal witness couldn't remember the incident. But she _did_ have the matter of Pam apparently having an affair with Tucker Quincy.

"You learn anythin'?" Scotty asked her, his hands tucked in his pockets.

Lilly hesitated, shooting a furtive glance at Pamela. "Let's talk outside."

Scotty looked at her curiously but didn't question her. Pamela, however, asked, "Can I listen in? I want to know what you've found."

"We'll tell you when we have something," Lilly told her hastily. "This is police business I have to discuss with Scotty."

Before Pamela could protest, Lilly had grabbed Scotty's sleeve and dragged him into the hallway. Scotty pulled his shirt back once they'd slid the door closed behind them.

He looked at her curiously. "What was that all about?"

"Some sensitive stuff to talk about," Lilly told him. "I met with Ronald Elliot. He told me that Enrique's been lending money to a guy named Tucker Quincy."

"Yeah? And how's that sensitive?"

Lilly sighed and continued. "Yeah, and apparently this Tucker guy's been having some sort of affair with Pamela."

Now his eyes were wide in disbelief. "You're—you're kiddin', right? You ain't serious?"

Lilly shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that's what Elliot told me."

Scotty clenched his teeth, pacing in a slow circle before looking back at Lilly. "He hasn't got any proof for this, has he? He's just some lyin' lowlife, right?"

Of course he'd react defensively. It was in his nature to defend the honor of his family. Lilly sighed and held up a hand to stave off his anger. "It's not me you gotta be mad at, Scotty. I'm just the messenger."

"Yeah, with a damn stupid message," he snapped.

At his accusatory tone, she bristled. Where the hell was he getting off being mad at _her?_ She'd brought him news, the truth as she'd heard it. It wasn't as if she was publishing slanderous material about his sister-in-law in the newspapers and shouting it from the street corners.

"Yeah?" Lilly said coldly, holding her temper in check. "Well, next time, I won't tell you any 'damn stupid messages.' I'll leave you to figure it out yourself, _Detective_."

Furiously, she strode off down the hallway, pulling on her gloves as she did so. He didn't want to hear it from her? Fine. He could hear it from someone else, maybe Pamela herself. Whatever. She was done with this case.

"Lil, wait. Lil!"

She ignored him, turning the corner. She could hear him running after her, and, like she'd expected, his fingers on her wrist pulled her to a stop. With a sigh, she turned around to face him.

"What?"

Scotty sighed, obviously struggling to swallow his anger. "Sorry, Lil. I was just…I don't know. It ain't you I'm mad at. It's hard to hear that stuff about people you care about, okay? You know what that feels like, right?"

Lilly glared at him. "No, not really. Whenever someone had something to say about my mother or sister, I usually agreed with them."

That gave him some pause. He released her, eyes trying to catch her gaze. He looked genuinely apologetic, and she sighed.

"Yeah, okay, I know."

He grinned tentatively, searching her eyes again. "Sorry about gettin' mad at you there. It's just…d'you know if this is real?"

"I have no idea," Lilly said, looking at him wearily. "That's what I got from Elliot, okay? Ask Pamela yourself if you're so hung up on it."

"I ain't not hung up on it," he muttered. At her disbelieving gaze, he admitted, "Okay, a little. But it ain't true. Pam wouldn't do that to Enrique. They love each other."

"And you would know what love is, Sherlock?" she asked wryly. And then she actually listened to what she'd said, and a horrified look crossed her face. God, could she really be so stupid as to bring up Elisa to his face? When he was no doubt still hurting over her, after all these years? Idiot, idiot!

He looked at her, shocked at her audacity. She'd actually…said that? She'd brought up Elisa, even when she knew, she _knew_, he couldn't think about her without wincing. He almost whirled on her and snapped right then, but his words died on his lips when he looked at her face. With her eyes wide and her mouth open, she just looked so horrified at that moment that he was tempted to laugh. A rush of affection flooded him, smothering his anger.

_Yeah,_ he thought fondly. _I think I know a little about love._ And he wasn't thinking of his beautiful, bright-eyed brunette when he thought it.

"I'm…sorry, Scotty," Lilly said, swallowing. "I wasn't thinking."

He mustered up a grin for her benefit. It wasn't as hard to smile as he thought it would be. "It's nothin'. It's okay."

She still looked so uncomfortable that he took pity on her and took her arm. "Come on, I'll tell Pam we're leavin'."

"Leaving?" Lilly repeated, her voice hardening into its detective tone again. "We have questions to ask her."

Scotty grinned. "There's a way to do this without hurtin' her, alright? If we're wrong, it'll just make her mad at us. So we go after this guy who's apparently havin' an affair with her."

"Ask Tucker instead," Lilly summarized slowly. "Then if he tells us I was right, we have to come back and ask Pam, deal?" She grinned back at him. "Smart, Valens."

He shrugged and grinned, pleased but not wanting to show her. "Deal. And I try."

He slid the door of the hospital room open and stopped.

"What is it?" Lilly asked from behind him, peering over his shoulder. She spotted what he'd seen and said, "Oh."

There were two detectives in the room, looking as fresh as he had when he'd been bumped up to Homicide. With their suits brushed impeccably and their postures stiff and uncomfortable-looking, they had 'rookie' written all over them. Scotty didn't suppress his scowl.

Pam and both detectives looked up, and one of the men, the taller one, stepped forward. "Excuse me? Detectives at work here. Can I ask you to come back later?"

"Yeah, detectives at work here too," Scotty said, just a little smug at how their eyes widened when he flashed his badge. "Detectives Valens, Rush, Homicide."

Their eyes widened just a bit further at 'homicide,' and they exchanged glances. The shorter one eyed them curiously. "This isn't a homicide," he said unnecessarily. "It's a shooting."

"You boys from Crime Investigation?" Lilly asked, coming to stand next to Scotty.

"That's right," the taller one said. "Detective Richard White," he said, pointing to himself, "and that's Detective Charlie Rizzo. So what _are_ you doing here?"

"That's my cousin," Scotty explained, nodding toward the bed. "And Pam's my sister-in-law."

"And this is our case," White said, sounding a bit possessive.

Typical rookies. It was _their_ case, and _nothing_ was going to jeopardize that, not even a couple of other detectives who wanted to help.

"And that's _my _cousin," Scotty retorted, growing annoyed. "Look, we're takin' time off our breaks to help you solve this thing, so let's try and cooperate, okay?"

"Then let's get it straight," White answered, eyes narrowing. "This is our case, so any credit goes to us, understand?"

The credit? The _credit?_ This was an assault on a man, his cousin, and all they cared about was the stupid, goddamn _credit?_ He clenched his fists, thinking hard about giving them a piece of his mind. White stepped forward, his gaze challenging. Arrogance simmered under the detective's green eyes. Oh, he wanted a fight, did he? He might have been taller, but Scotty figured he had enough muscle to take the guy. To hell with the paperwork and grief from Boss he'd have to deal with afterward. Punching the guy out just might make it worth it.

Before either of them could move, though, Lilly had grabbed his sleeve.

"Scotty," she muttered lowly, clearly a warning for him to back the hell off before he did something he'd regret. He tried to pull away, but her fingers were like handcuffs around his wrist.

The other detective—Rizzo—did the same to White. "Calm down, man," he chastised. "Let it go. It's nothing. Of course we'll get the credit, no need to get all worked up over it."

"We don't care about the credit," Lilly said, sounding exasperated. And she probably was, dealing with all the testosterone that had suddenly suffused the room. "What we care about is finding out who did this to Enrique Valens. Okay?"

White looked her up and down, a look of surprised contempt on his face. "They let girls into Homicide?"

"What the _hell_ did you say?" Scotty snarled, his fists clenching again and itching to bury themselves in the miserable bastard's face. Oh, he did _not_ just say that. Scotty knew how hard and long Lilly had worked to get to Homicide. She'd worked her ass off all her life, getting grief from all the sexist bastards for years and years, and she'd finally proved herself, made Homicide detective. He knew how proud she was of the job. And this condescending _bastard_ had the balls to dismiss all her work just because she was a _girl?_ He was mad as _hell._

"Scotty!" Lilly said sharply, interrupting his growing fury. He leveled an incredulous look at her, shocked that she could take this without even a fight. She was tough, he knew that. So why didn't she fight for herself?

"That's enough," she said, in that tone she took with suspects that struck the fear of God into them. "Back off."

Slowly, he unclenched his fists and forced the anger away. He'd never been good at repressing his emotions, but working with Lilly had taught him some control. You didn't last long with all the scum of the earth out there if you flew off the handle every time someone said something insulting. And usually, Lilly had better judgment than he did in situations like this. So he let out a long breath and stepped back.

But apparently White wasn't the type to back down. "She's got you whipped, has she?" he taunted, pushing away Rizzo's restraining hand. "Well-trained and on a leash. Woof woof!"

Oh, that was _it._ He hadn't felt this enraged in a long, long time. He stepped forward, fully intending to knock the arrogant prick into kingdom come. Before he could reach him, however, Lilly had thrown herself in front of him, her arm across his chest to bar him.

"Damn it, Scotty," she hissed. "Think about it. You hit this guy, you get investigated or suspended, and _then_ where are we on finding this shooter? Calm down, and back the hell off."

He didn't like it—in fact, he hated it, but she spoke the good and honest truth. As mad as this White guy made him, he couldn't do anything about it without effectively removing himself from the case. So he took a deep, deep breath and tried to concentrate on her touch instead of on how badly he wanted to knock some teeth out of the other detective's face.

White sneered in triumph, but before he could say anything else, Lilly rounded on him. "And you, buster, you'd better keep your mouth shut before I let Scotty at you. You think you're funny? Well, I don't. Now you better shut up and grow up so we can solve this damn case. Understand, woof woof?"

For a long moment, the other detective simply looked shocked that he was being spoken to that way. Scotty felt an absurd rush of pride. _That's my partner. Yeah, she shut you up good, didn't she, White?_

"Shut up, Rich," Rizzo muttered, his hand clamped around his partner's arm. "Get your head on straight. We've got to solve this case, so let's focus on that before anything else, got it?"

Glaring at Lilly, White yanked his arm from Rizzo's grip. "Yeah, whatever. We got enough from the wife?"

Rizzo nodded. "Got what we came for."

"Then let's get the hell out of here." White straightened his suit jacket and stalked past them. He looked as if he was going to purposefully shove past Lilly, but she simply stepped back, shooting him a contemptuous look. They slid the door shut behind them and disappeared.

"Wow," Pam breathed after a long, pregnant silence. "That was…intense."

Lilly smiled wearily at her. "Yeah, it's okay. Happens all the time in headquarters. Cases become pissing contests."

Scotty barked a laugh. "That's an understatement." He glared darkly at the door the detectives had disappeared through and paced to the bed and back to Lilly's side. "What makes the bastard think he can say that stuff to you and get away with it?"

Lilly shook her head, suddenly looking more tired than he'd seen her in a long time. "Scotty, not that I don't appreciate you getting all worked up about it, but seriously, think before you act next time. I've heard all that crap a million times before. It doesn't get under my skin, so don't let it get under yours."

At her words, the last of his anger melted away. She was right, as usual. He'd heard all about how she'd gotten all this prejudice crap from everyone because she was the first woman to make Homicide. She must have listened to guys worse than White for years, and she'd gotten over it. Made herself stronger because of it. Scotty felt an absurd rush of affection and admiration for Lilly, for this tough-as-nails, larger-than-life woman he was lucky enough to have as partner.

"We're going to go now," Lilly told Pam, grabbing Scotty's arm. "We've got some leads to follow up on."

Shutting the door gently behind them, they left the hospital.

* * *

"I'm drivin'," Scotty said, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

"Then you have to drive me back to the hospital later," Lilly replied, glancing at her car parked nearby. "I'm not walking home."

Thinking of all the scum of the earth lurking about, Scotty nodded his head. Yeah, she wasn't walking home if he could help it.

Before he'd even pulled out of the parking lot, Lilly's phone rang. Raising an eyebrow when she realized who it was, she flipped open the phone.

"Boss?"

"Yeah, Lil, where are you?"

"Home," she answered casually.

He snorted. "Liar. I just dropped by to bring you some cookies my daughter Janie sent over. You're not here."

Lilly winced. She'd hoped to keep the case so quiet that Boss would never know a thing about it. But he wasn't Boss for nothing, she guessed.

"Yeah, about that…" Lilly said evasively.

"You aren't at the office either," Stillman continued, his voice disapproving, "so I'm guessing you're with Scotty."

Lilly shot an incredulous look over to Scotty, who was glancing back at her curiously. "No—I—Boss, what?"

"You aren't home, and you aren't in the office. Am I wrong in guessing you're helping Scotty investigate whatever's going on with his cousin?"

Lilly opened her mouth to protest and couldn't think of a thing to say in her defense. So instead, she just sighed and admitted, "Yeah, Boss. How'd you know?"

"Well, I'm not a detective for nothing, Lil," he said, even sounding a little amused. So maybe he wasn't too mad at her for disobeying his order to take time off—yet. "And I know you and Scotty. If it's got something to do with friends or family, Scotty can't leave anything alone. And you couldn't take time off if your life depended on it. So I guessed you were helping Scotty out."

"That's right," Lilly said, a bit sheepish that they'd been found out so easily. "Sorry for not telling you, Boss."

"What's goin' on?" Scotty whispered from beside her.

"We're found out," she whispered back, grinning guiltily. "Boss knows."

Scotty shrugged. "Bound to happen."

"I'm just calling to tell you to head back to the station," Stillman said.

Lilly's brow furrowed in surprise. "Are you pulling us off the case, Boss?" Beside her, Scotty scowled and hit the steering wheel with a curse.

But to her surprise, Stillman answered, "No, I'm not. But I'm telling you to come back to regroup. Miller and Vera are coming in too. Jeffries wanted to, but he's still down with the flu."

"They're coming in? Why?" Lilly asked, mystified. Didn't they have families to attend to? Or in Vera's case, endless donut boxes to clean out?

Stillman chuckled. "You didn't think we'd allow one of our own to muddle through this on his own? You're going to need our help, so come back to headquarters, and we'll sort it out."

A slow smile spread across her face. One of their own. Like a family. She liked the thought, and suddenly, she felt lighter and less lonely. "Sure, Boss," she said, grinning. "We'll be there in ten."

When she hung up, Scotty glanced over at her questioningly. "What was that all about?"

"Boss, Miller, and Vera are coming in," she explained. "They're going to help us."

Scotty's eyes widened. "You serious? What about break?"

"Boss says he couldn't let you muddle through it on your own," Lilly teased, laughing at the indignant look that crossed Scotty's face.

"Muddle through it?" he repeated in a huff. "Who says I ain't capable of solvin' this thing on my own? I can do it. You know I can."

"Says the man who can't even drive speed limit," Lilly observed dryly, eyeing the speedometer.

Scotty glanced down but didn't slow the car. "It ain't that fast."

"Okay," Lilly agreed, unable to suppress a grin at his indignation, "but when you cause a ten-car pileup, I'm putting it in my report that I tried to warn you."

He rolled his eyes. "I drive like this all the time."

"I know. Just thought it was high time to warn you that either your speedometer is broken or you think your car's some sort of racecar."

She stifled a laugh at the look he gave her. Thanks to his reckless driving, they made it back to headquarters with time to spare. By the time they reached the bullpen, Vera and Miller were already there, and Stillman was just taking off his coat.

"Hey, guys," Lilly said, grinning at the sight of them. "Early morning?"

"I just got out of bed," Vera grunted. "And I'm starving."

"Figures," Miller grumbled. "You the one who ate the donuts in the break room?"

"Why is it always me?" Vera demanded. "Why don't you blame Valens?"

Miller shot him a disbelieving glare. "Valens just got here, dumbass. And who else is it gonna be?"

Lilly stifled a laugh and was surprised at the rush of affection that filled her. She realized suddenly that that was something she loved about the job—not just solving cases and catching murderers but also working with these people, these five people on the squad who had become…well, the family she'd never had. She suddenly couldn't keep the smile from her face.

"Let's not argue," Stillman said from behind them. "To thank you guys for coming in, I brought pizza." He held up the white box and set it on the table.

"Oh, thank God," Miller said, sitting up straight at the sight of food. "I thought I was gonna have to chew on some pages from my notepad."

Vera's scowl reversed itself as he flipped the box open and practically inhaled a couple of pieces of pizza on the spot. Miller helped dole out the rest of the pieces, and soon enough, they were settled in their desks munching on the pizza and looking over the information they already had.

"So let's get this straight," Miller summarized, studying Lilly's notes. "We have Enrique who's soccer coach and all-around nice guy. There's Pam, his wife, who's apparently cheating on him. There's this guy, Ronald Elliot, who's pissed Enrique wouldn't lend him money, and then there's Tucker Quincy, who's getting money from Enrique and _maybe_ getting something from his wife too."

Lilly didn't miss how Scotty's jaw clenched at the mention of Pamela being unfaithful. Well, she could have guessed how he'd react—and continue to react—to that. Until Pam told him the truth to his face, Lilly doubted Scotty would believe it. Maybe not even then.

"That pretty much sums it up," Lilly said, nodding. "We don't know why Enrique stayed home that night when he was supposed to go coach. We still don't know what Eric the neighbor and Enrique were talking about in the garage, and we don't know where to find Tucker Quincy."

"This Grace Jackson character have an alibi?" Vera asked.

Lilly nodded. "Yeah, she was talking to a friend at the time."

"Doesn't mean she couldn't have shot him," Vera muttered. "Women, known for multi-tasking."

Miller shook her head. "She doesn't have a motive, genius. She barely knows the guy."

"Alright," Stillman said, brushing off his hands as he stood, "Miller, Vera, you track down Eric Jackson and find out what he and Enrique were discussing the night Enrique was shot. Scotty and Lil, you find Tucker Quincy and see what he has to say. I'll stay here and try to dig up some information on any suspects. And remember, we aren't officially on this case, so we can't make any arrests. The best we can do is relay the information to the Detectives White and Rizzo, who are in charge. Got it?"

"Will do, Boss," Scotty said, helping Lilly into her coat before they left the station.


	5. Chapter 5

**I had fun writing this chapter :) **

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing of Cold Case. **

* * *

FIVE

"Damn," Vera grumbled, sliding into the car. "And I was lookin' forward to those donuts too."

"Don't remind me," Miller muttered. "You know I wanted to spend time with Veronica. But they're our friends, and if there's one thing I know, it's that Valens couldn't close a case on his own if the guilty guy jumped up and bit him in the butt."

"He's a good cop," Vera said. "He ain't all bad."

"I know," Miller sighed, crossing her arms. "He's just been distracted lately. You noticed?"

Vera smirked. "You talkin' about all that starin' at Lil?"

Miller rolled her eyes. "He likes to think he's sneaky. How the hell did he pull off being undercover?"

Vera shrugged. "He can get his game on when he tries, I bet." He noticed Miller giving him a surprised look. "What?"

"Since when do you defend Valens?" Kat demanded.

She couldn't see through him, could she? Nah, course not. He wasn't all transparent like lover-boy Scotty. Smirking at her, Vera said, "He's been givin' me some advice."

"Advice?" Kat repeated incredulously. "What could he possibly be givin' you advice on?"

Vera shrugged enigmatically. "Oh, you know, stuff."

Kat snorted. "Valens. You went to _Valens_ for advice. Those donuts screwin' around with your mind?"

"_Relationship _stuff," Vera clarified. "Who else can I ask about that? Jeffries? _Boss?_"

"How 'bout a girl?" Kat suggested, rolling her eyes. "You want relationship advice, go to a girl. Believe me, she knows better than any guy."

Oh…this could get interesting. She wanted him to ask her? Smirking, Vera said, "Okay, fine. Say you like this girl. What do you do?"

"First of all," Miller said, "I don't like girls. Second, what the hell are you asking? Be more specific than that."

"Alright, I'll put it in your terms then: say you like this guy. Tall, pretty, you know, the works. You like him lots, but you don't really know how to approach him. He's the standoffish type, you know."

Miller gave him an amused look. "Before I answer, I wanna know what Valens said."

"You really wanna know?" Vera shook his head. "He said to just tell her what I feel. What kind of crap is that?"

Kat laughed. "Told you Valens didn't have the answers."

Vera shrugged defensively. "I figured the guy who's had the same girlfriend since he was a kid would know what to do."

"Well, does she like you? And if she does, what the hell does she see in _you?_"

She actually thought that about him? That there was nothing worth seeing in him? Vera shifted in his seat, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. "Hell if I know. Told you, she's the standoffish type."

"If she's guarded, there's a reason," Kat reasoned. "So get to know her a bit more. You know, help her out first. Give her a donut or somethin'. Show her you're interested, and if she responds, then good for you."

_Been tryin' that for years,_ Vera thought, glancing out his window with a sigh. _And she's blind as a bat._ Maybe Valens had a point after all.

"Whatever," he muttered. "Come on. We're here."

* * *

"Tucker Quincy?" Lilly called, studying the tall, handsome man standing bare-chested in the garage. He held a wrench in one hand and a towel in the other as he leaned over the engine of the car. "Philly Homicide. We'd like to ask you a few questions."

He straightened up and turned around to face them. His eyes settled on Lilly and widened a little.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked suavely, smiling. He had a nice smile, all pearly white teeth.

Lilly smiled back. "We want to talk to you about Enrique Valens. He's been shot, do you know that?"

Tucker's smile faded, and he looked alarmed. "What? Is he alright?"

Lilly eyed him. "Yeah, he'll be okay." His concern seemed genuine enough, but there was something in his eyes that belied that.

"You know him well?" Scotty asked.

"Yeah, pretty well," Tucker answered, wiping his hands on the towel. "I've only lived here for two years. I fixed his car once. His wife's a nice gal."

Scotty stiffened at the mention of her, so Lilly cut in. "No hard feelings between you and Enrique?"

Tucker snorted. "Of course not. We're friends. He invited me over to a barbeque in his backyard in the fall. He was gonna have a Christmas celebration this week or something with his family. I didn't have anywhere to go so he invited me to come along."

Lilly exchanged a glance with Scotty. This Tucker guy was close enough to Enrique that he had been set to go meet Scotty's family?

"He invited you?" Lilly asked pointedly.

Tucker shrugged. "Well, no, it was Pam. His wife, you know. We were talking and she invited me along."

Lilly let her smile fade, watching him closely. "We've heard a rumor that you might have been involved with Pam. Can you clarify your relationship with her?"

He looked appropriately shocked, but there was a telltale flicker of _something _in his eyes. "What? No! Pam and I are just friends. She and I meet sometimes to just talk. I would never do that to Enrique."

He was lying, Lilly could tell instinctively. "Are you sure?" she pressed, her tone growing hard. "You've never been more than friends with her, you're strictly friends."

He nodded vigorously. "That's right. That's a crazy rumor. Who told you that?"

"Ronald Elliot," Scotty said, sounding relieved that the rumor had been laid to rest.

Tucker snorted and shook his head. "You believe that crackhead?"

"Crackhead?" Lilly repeated, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"

"You mean you cops don't know?" Tucker asked in surprise. "Elliot's doing drugs all the time. Got all caught up in it. He's out of money, his wife left, and his boy's terrified of him. He's been running on fumes for a while now."

Lilly glanced over at Scotty, wondering if his thoughts were going the same way as hers. If Ronald Elliot had a drug problem and needed money to fund it…well, that would explain why he was so pissed when Enrique had refused to lend him money. Pissed enough for murder?

"Last few questions," Scotty said. "Where were you on Sunday night between seven and seven thirty?"

Tucker shrugged. "Here. I'm at the garage most nights." He winked and added, "I'll let you in on a secret: I wasn't working. I was meeting a girl. Name's Amber Sweeting."

Scotty raised an eyebrow. "Girlfriend?"

Tucker shrugged nonchalantly. "You could say that. I was with her 'til eight thirty before we went back to my apartment."

"Yeah, we'll check that. Finally, Enrique was lending you money," Lilly said, turning to a new page in her notepad. "Can you tell us what for?"

Tucker rubbed a hand through his hair, looking embarrassed. "I was running behind on payments on my apartment. Enrique told me he'd help out."

"Thanks," Lilly said, flipping her legal pad shut. "We'll be in touch."

"He didn't do it," Scotty said confidently as they walked back to the car.

"Why do you say that?" Lilly asked, grinning at his self-assurance.

Scotty shrugged. "He ain't the type. And he ain't got a motive."

"Yeah, with the Pam thing put to rest," Lilly mused, "he hasn't got any motive at all. But we should go back and talk with Ronald Elliot. The drugs angle is a good one."

"He's got an alibi," Scotty reminded her. "Solid."

"But he could give us a lead," Lilly replied. "We'll see what he has to say about the drugs."

* * *

"You know," Scotty said, as he took a left turn, "I never really thanked you for takin' the case."

Lilly shook her head dismissively. "It's nothing."

"You didn't have to take it," Scotty insisted. "You coulda just gone home to your cats and enjoyed the holidays. So thanks."

She didn't know what got into her, but she had the sudden urge to correct him. "I don't enjoy holidays," she said quietly, unable to stop her thoughts from translating into words. "It doesn't happen. Never did."

She could tell he was staring at her in surprise. Probably shocked that she'd tell him something like that. It made her a little sad, how even her partner, probably the person closest to her, was dumbfounded when she revealed even the slightest thing to him. Was she really that closed off?

He was silent for a long while, his face unreadable. Hesitantly, Lilly snuck a glance over at him, unconsciously holding her breath.

Eventually, he said nonchalantly, "Aw, come on, Lil. You're tellin' me you didn't have one good holiday?"

He was going for the casual approach. Part of her was glad; it meant he wouldn't dig any deeper into what she said. Another part, the part that had decided impulsively to bare part of herself to him, was disappointed that he was taking what she'd said so lightly. But she was used to closing herself off and brushing away painful things, so that's what she did.

"Nah," she said, smiling. "You're right. There were probably some good times."

"Probably?" he repeated. "Don't you remember?"

She shook her head. "It was a long time ago."

He smiled. "Thanksgiving?"

"Nope," she said, hoping her smile wasn't wavering. Why on earth had she brought this up? What on earth had she been thinking? "Nothing to be thankful for."

He snorted at that but didn't question her. "Okay, so Fourth of July?"

"We were lucky to have electricity," Lilly said, her smile fading, "let alone fireworks."

His grin faltered at the sudden smallness in her voice, but he pressed her a little more. It really couldn't have been _all_ bad. She was biased by all her years growing up and looking at the glass half empty. Surely there were times when she'd seen it half full.

"Christmas?" he asked, glancing to the side to assess her expression.

She shook her head, smiling again. But he'd known her for too long; he could see how she forced it, and he could hear how she forced the lightness in her voice.

"Nope, not that either. No fun in the holidays for me."

Something was wrong there. She had bad memories regarding Christmas, he realized. At the way her eyes shuttered and that damn Ice Queen mask slid seamlessly over her face, it was something very bad. He looked at her closely, but as usual, her mask was completely smooth. No cracks, nothing that showed him what she was feeling. He focused on the road again, clenching his hands around the steering wheel in frustration. Damn it, would it _kill_ her to open up to him? Even just a little?

His phone rang, thankfully distracting him from Lilly. He pulled it out and answered quickly, "Valens."

"Hey, it's Vera. Followed up on that Eric guy. They were just talkin' 'bout soccer that night, but he did remember seeing this gal named Doreen Redding talkin' with Enrique earlier. Threatening him or somethin'."

"Yeah, thanks," Scotty said. "You know where she is?"

"She doesn't live too far from the hospital. You goin' to meet her?"

"Yeah, think we might, we're pretty close. You mind checkin' back up on Ronald Elliot? Tucker Quincy said he had some sort of drug problem, which might be why he was askin' my cousin for money."

He heard Vera click his tongue in consideration. "Good motive."

"Yeah, check it."

Vera gave him the address to Doreen Redding before Scotty flipped his phone shut and turned the car around.

"Where are we headed?" Lilly asked.

"Doreen Redding," Scotty explained, "seen threatenin' Enrique a couple of days before the shooting. Vera and Miller are gonna take Elliot."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before he felt Lilly's eyes on him. Studying him again, was she? Why was he starting to get the feeling she was looking at him more often now? And it wasn't a friendly look either; it was intense and sometimes, when he'd glance over and accidentally meet her eyes, it made him shiver. God, she had beautiful eyes. When he caught her staring, she'd avert her eyes, her cheeks pinking. The first time it happened, he'd almost caused a ten-car pileup in shock. Holy crap, Lilly Rush could _blush?_ And she was so pale it was too obvious when she was blushing. She'd get that embarrassed look in her eyes, and all he could think was that she was freaking _gorgeous_ when she blushed.

He cut his thoughts off abruptly. Damn it, he wasn't supposed to be thinking this about her. He was supposed to be ignoring how _freaking gorgeous_ she was and how she made him tremble with desire. If only he could ignore these feelings for long enough, he hoped they'd disappear. Good God, he couldn't let things go any further than they already had. They were _partners, _and she was _Lilly._ Lilly Rush. He didn't need any other reasons to try to put a stop to his feelings for her.

But not even a minute later, he caught himself staring at her again. He couldn't look away. She was leaning her head against the window, eyes closed. He admired how soft her skin looked (and remembered how soft it had felt when he'd touched her that morning), how golden her hair was in the sunlight. It was probably a sin to be so beautiful. Probably. But he sure as hell wasn't complaining.

Suddenly she opened her eyes, and he hastily turned back to the road. He clenched his fingers around the steering wheel and made a show of concentrating on the roads.

"Where are we going now?" she asked out of the blue.

He paused. "Didn't I just tell you?"

"Yeah, well, you missed the turn."

He had? Damn, he _never_ missed turns. Ever. What was she _doing_ to him?

Muttering a curse, he turned the car around and corrected their course. Lilly stared at him curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he muttered, trying not to look at her. Again. Because she'd be looking at him innocently with no idea what her blue eyes did to him. Was it possible to explode from overexposure to someone's eyes?

To distract himself, he leaned forward and turned on the radio. Idly, he turned the knob indecisively a couple of times before deciding just to leave it.

Country music filled the car. Laughing, Lilly turned to him. "Thought you hated country?"

"I do," he muttered, leaning forward to change the station. Lilly's hand stopped him, though.

"Leave it," she said. "I kind of like this song."

"It's my car," Scotty protested. "My car, my radio."

"Concentrate on the road," Lilly teased, closing her eyes. "You'll miss the next turn."

"No, I won't. I don't miss turns—damn it!"

She laughed out loud as he was forced to turn the car around for the second time. "Maybe you should let me drive next time."

"Like hell," he grumbled. "The country music's screwin' with me."

She laughed again, and he tried not to think about how nice her laugh was. He wished he heard it more often. But it was _Lilly_. When she laughed, half the time it was fake and a disguise for her fear or hurt. He wanted to punch the bastards who'd made her this way, but he didn't have much of an idea to go on. She'd told him things here and there about her past, but she'd hinted at more—more heartbreak, more pain he hadn't heard of yet. So he knew there were chunks of her past he'd never seen, and he wished she'd trust him enough to let him in. But it was probably hard for her to trust anyone, what with men ducking in and out of her life at their convenience. When would they start thinking of _her_ convenience?

Well, he sure as hell wasn't going anywhere. He'd have to be dragged away unconscious or dead from Lilly's side. Hell, he might not even go then.

"Scotty, stop. Stop the car."

He glanced up and hit the brakes, realizing that he'd passed the house. As he put the car in reverse embarrassedly, Lilly shot him a strange look. "You sure you're okay?"

Yeah, yeah, he was fine. Just being distracted by feelings he shouldn't have had for his partner, that was all.

Aloud, he said, "Yeah. Just thinkin'."

"Thinking pretty hard," Lilly observed. "I think you actually drove the speed limit the whole way."

Rolling his eyes at her teasing, Scotty slipped the keys into his pocket and got out of the car. Lilly behind him, he strode up to the door and knocked loudly.

"Doreen Redding?" Lilly called, fishing out her badge. "We're Philly police, Homicide."

When the house remained silent, Scotty knocked again. "Hello? Anyone home?"

They waited a couple more minutes before Lilly sighed. "Looks like she isn't home. I'll call Vera again to ask for where she works."

She fished out her phone, but Scotty stopped her. "Hang on. You hungry?"

They hadn't eaten since the pancakes that morning. She must have been starving; he knew he was. Eventually, Lilly nodded slowly.

"Wanna go eat first?" Scotty asked, giving her his lopsided grin that usually got the ladies falling all over him. As usual, though, it seemed to have little to no effect on his partner.

She seemed to debate for a moment before nodding. "Sure. What's for lunch?"

"Anything with fries," he answered quickly, heading back to the car. "I'm cravin' 'em."

"There's that place with good cheese steaks near my house," Lilly told him. Nodding, he turned off the street and merged with the traffic again.

By the time they reached the diner, Scotty was almost doubled over with hunger pains. "I'm starvin'," he groaned.

Lilly cast him an amused look. "Whiner."

He pretended to glare at her. "You're hurtin' my feelings here, Lil. I mean, who was it that made pancakes for you this mornin'?"

He didn't expect her to flush so hard or look so embarrassed. "What?" he asked in confusion.

"Nothing," she said quickly, stepping ahead of him to enter the diner first. "Let's go inside."

He was too hungry and too cold to argue. Letting her open the door, he stepped into the warm restaurant, letting out a groan at the delicious smell of cheese steaks. He was going to devour all of them, he was so hungry. He could already taste the warm bread and hot meat between his teeth, the sauce rolling with heavenly spice on his tongue—

"Stop!"

Both Lilly and he froze on the spot. The waitress who'd called out to them hurried forward, arms spread from side to side to keep them from walking past her.

"Lady, I'm seriously starvin'," Scotty growled, trying his best not to scowl at her. "Get out of the way. Please."

The waitress shook her head. "Look up."

She pointed. They looked. Lilly groaned.

"Please tell me that's not mistletoe," Lilly said quickly, covering her eyes with a hand.

The waitress beamed. "Very good." She watched them expectantly, but when they didn't move, she frowned. "Well? Go at it."

Scotty and Lilly exchanged a glance. For his part, he was beyond starving. He was ready to either mow the waiter down on the spot or just spin his partner around and peck her on the lips. Whatever it took to get through. But to his surprise, she was blushing furiously behind her hand, so he didn't go through with the impulse. Could it be that she was actually…nervous about this? It was just a friendly kiss between two friends…right?

"Can't let you through until you do," the waitress said, smiling widely.

"We aren't—well, we can't—" Lilly stammered, holding up a hand. Scotty wasn't sure if the hand was to warn the waitress off or to warn him off.

The waitress didn't budge. Scotty got the feeling that she wouldn't move an inch even if they stood there and stalled for an hour. And he sure as hell couldn't wait for an hour for a cheese steak.

"Let's go somewhere else," Lilly said uncertainly, turning for the door.

His completely empty stomach prompted him to move. He grabbed her arm. "No way. I'm starvin' here, Lil!"

"But we can't—"

And that was when he thought, _To hell with it._ To hell with it all. He was starving and tired and what the hell was even holding him back? He'd wanted to kiss her for an eternity now; the mistletoe gave him an excuse to do it.

So he closed the distance between them with a single step and pressed his lips to hers.

She froze. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't see her expression, because he knew it was probably pretty damn terrified. _Just enjoy the moment, Valens,_ he told himself. _Enjoy it before Lil punches all your teeth out for doin' this. _

She tasted like…heaven. He was supposed to be in control the entire time, but when she moved against him, his mind was wiped blank. He had no idea what the hell was happening around them, but he thought he could stand there and kiss Lilly forever and never be tired of it. God, she tasted like mint and a little chocolate and just pure _Lilly._ And she smelled amazing too. Simply amazing.

The waitress gave a little coo of excitement, and that was what broke the moment. Scotty felt the urge to sucker punch the waitress as Lilly yanked herself back with a harsh gasp, taking such a huge step away from him that she nearly did the splits. Scotty, his brain still fried, couldn't do much more than stare at her.

Holy crap, she'd tasted amazing. She hadn't participated much in the kiss, but he was pretty sure it was the best kiss he'd ever had. And imagine if she _was_ participating…holy hell, he nearly passed out at the thought.

"That was…fabulous," the waitress whispered, smiling from ear to ear.

"That was _not_ fabulous," Lilly said sharply, her eyes wide. For a moment, Scotty could read every emotion flitting across her face, from shock to delight to anger. Wait—_delight?_ Had he seen that right? She'd _liked_ it? Maybe as much as he had?

And then the Ice Queen mask slammed back over her face, and she took a deep breath. For a moment, he was terrified that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and that she'd run.

But, to his utter shock, she pasted a smile on her face and nodded to the waitress. "Can we go in now?"

The waitress smiled. "Of course. With a show like that, you can come in any time."

What…the…hell? Dazed, Scotty followed Lilly to a table and slid into the seat across from her. He tried to study her face, but her expression was carefully neutral. For a long moment, he just looked at her, unable to believe that she was still here. After they'd broken apart from the kiss, he'd been dead certain she'd be at the office by now, handing in her transfer and packing up her things to move halfway across the world to get away from him. But she was still there—incredibly, amazingly still there. He couldn't understand her. Everything he'd ever learned about her told him she should have run. Lilly Rush couldn't handle pressure, couldn't handle sudden shock like this, so she ran. Always. But…but she hadn't this time. _Why?_

Oh, the hell with it. He was probably giving himself an aneurysm trying to figure her out. She was still there, inexplicably, and he'd be damned if he didn't appreciate it.

They studiously avoided each other's gazes by staring hard at the menus. When the menus were taken up after they'd ordered, they continued to glance pointedly away from each other. In the uncomfortable silence, Scotty took out his notepad and tried to make notes. He couldn't stop his gaze from traveling over the pages to Lilly, though, and eventually, he gave up trying to write anything.

Thankfully, the food arrived soon enough, but even the delicious aroma of cheese steak and fries couldn't cut through the tension between them. It had just been a kiss, right? Well, to him, it had been so much more, but to her, it had just been a friendly joke between partners…right?

"So," Lilly said suddenly, "the case."

He was so far into his own thoughts that her voice made him jump. "What? Oh, yeah. The case."

"I'll find out where Doreen works, and you can drop me off," she continued evenly, her voice betraying nothing.

His heart sank. Drop her off? As in, not accompany her on the interview? "What?" he asked. "You don't want me to come with you?"

She met his eyes, and he tried not to let out a growl of frustration at the deadpan look she leveled at him. She wouldn't let him know how she felt even _now,_ when it was so important? He wanted to know if what he'd done had completely and irreversibly damaged their partnership, damn it.

"I'd rather do it alone," she answered calmly. After a moment, she added, almost as consolation, "Can you pick me up after though?"

A wave of relief washed over him. So she wasn't avoiding him for good. It was temporary. She probably needed time and space to deal with what he'd just done. Sure, whatever, he could give her time and space, as much as she needed. As long as they could still be partners, he'd give her anything.

"Sure," he said, feeling lighter already. Light enough to try a casual talk with her again. "I'm _starvin'_."

He was rewarded with a small smile. "Yeah? Starving badly enough that you'd kiss me?"

Oh thank God. She was teasing him about it, which meant it shouldn't be too bad, right? They could just pass it off as a joke between partners. Laugh about it.

He forced a smile. "Yeah, that bad. What, you ain't that hungry?"

"Not bad enough that I'd kiss you," she teased, and he laughed.

Maybe, God willing, things would be okay between them after all.

* * *

**If you have a little time, leave a review please! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! They really made my day :) If you have any comments or suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know. **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own anything. Big surprise. **

* * *

SIX

It turned out that Doreen Redding was more difficult to track down than they'd expected. She hadn't shown up at work that morning, and no one had any idea where she was. Lilly wearily called Boss, who told her he'd put out an APB on her. Then, deciding that she wasn't quite ready to deal with Scotty yet, she hailed a cab and left for home.

Usually, at this time, she'd be back in the office, still poring over reports or files, but now, she wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch with her cats. She needed time to think.

After unlocking her door, she slipped off her shoes and her coat, tossing her keys on the table. Damn, she'd left her car at the precinct again. Well, she'd just have to hail a cab to the station, because she was pretty sure she still wouldn't be ready to face Scotty come morning.

"Hi, girls," she said softly, giving both Olivia and Tripod pats as they slunk up to greet her. She fed them, made sure they had enough water, and collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to change.

Scotty had kissed her. Even hours later, she was still reeling from the shock of it. He'd grabbed her and pulled her close and _kissed_ her. It had been smooth and sensual and…and…

And she'd liked it. Holy hell, she'd liked it. And that was probably what scared her the most about it all. She'd _wanted_ to kiss him, and when he had, she'd been swept up in a roaring flood of delight. She'd never wanted the moment to end, and she'd wanted him to hold her forever, because she'd felt safe and, for just a moment, wanted.

Immediately afterwards, he'd gotten that terrified look on his face, like he was horrified he'd made a huge mistake. Had he thought kissing her was a mistake? He'd probably only meant it as a joke, as just some quick thing to get over with so he could get into the diner and to his beloved cheese steaks. He'd probably been afraid that she thought the kiss meant more. He'd been afraid of encouraging her.

Because that's exactly what he'd done. When he'd kissed her there in the diner under the mistletoe, she'd felt an immense swell of affection and desire for him. She'd imagined just for a moment that he was hers, and the whole thought of it scared her. It was absurd. She was going crazy. Why was she even _thinking_ these things about her partner?

They were partners. The end. There was nothing more, and she was being stupid, stupid, _stupid_ for even thinking of something more. What was wrong with her? She hadn't ever felt this way before. She couldn't have feelings for Scotty. It was just…just _wrong._

She could tell he'd been shocked when she didn't turn tail and bolt from the diner. Hell, she'd even shocked herself. If that had happened with anyone else, she would have been halfway across the country by now. But it wasn't anyone else; it had been Scotty. And he, of all people, could not know how that kiss had made her feel. He could not know that when she'd broken away from the kiss, all she'd wanted to do was to grab him by the lapels of his coat and pull him back for another one. So she'd tried to act casual, like the kiss hadn't affected her at all. Lilly didn't think she'd done too good of a job acting normal, but at least she hadn't run. That would have been clear indication that it hadn't been just a friendly peck on the lips between friends. So, against every instinct she had, she'd stayed.

And then he'd gazed at her again, with those dark, dark eyes, and he wouldn't stop looking at her. Even when he'd taken out his notepad and pen, he hadn't written more than a word before his eyes were back on her. It was then that she'd decided that as much as she had to act casual to pass off the kiss as nothing, she couldn't. Not when he was staring at her with those eyes…

So she'd told him to drop her off at Doreen's workplace. She'd seen the flash of hurt in his eyes but hoped he'd understand. She couldn't deal with him right then, and she needed time to think and forget. Somehow, he'd known what she was asking, and he'd agreed. And they'd managed to fall back into a bit of banter, which made her relax. Minimally.

How the hell was she supposed to face him now? She could hardly think of him without thinking of how his lips had felt on hers. She wanted to bang her head against the wall to try and forget what had happened, but she couldn't move. It had just felt so…good. And right.

_There's no need to be scared of it,_ she thought rationally. Of course she'd felt desire when Scotty had kissed her; he was an attractive man, there was no denying that. The flocks of 'informants' he had were enough testament to that. So what she'd felt had been completely normal, not indicative of further feelings. She was probably just getting caught up in his maleness because she hadn't had a boyfriend in a long while now.

The thought eased the maelstrom of her thoughts considerably. Of course. Why hadn't she thought of it before? She was just attracted to Scotty because he was cute and she saw him everyday. It didn't mean she had feelings for him; it just meant that she was craving a man's touch and that it was about time she got a date.

She groaned. It sounded so easy, but for her, nothing that dealt with social events or romance came easily. The most she was involved in outside of work and home was First Thursdays, and she didn't have any friends outside of her colleagues at work. Come to think of it, it was probably about time to change that.

She had to get out and meet some new people. She'd meet a handsome man, one with light, bright eyes to make her forget those dark, intense ones. And all this feelings nonsense with Scotty would fade away.

She hoped it came as easily as it sounded.

* * *

He couldn't concentrate on the open file in front of him. He'd been seated at the damn desk for hours, but for the life of him, he couldn't read a word on the page without losing interest. Every time someone walked in, his head would snap up, and his heart would leap. But when he realized it wasn't her, he'd slump back in his seat, frustration growing.

It was eleven. Eleven in the freaking morning. She should have been at the precinct hours ago. _Hours._ A couple of minutes late, he could understand. Hell, he wouldn't even have worried (much) if she'd been half an hour late. But _hours?_ Where the hell was she?

She'd been hit by a car. Someone had broken into her house and kidnapped her. She'd been shot by a mugger. She'd gotten lost on the wrong side of town. She'd been taken hostage by a psychopath. Her house had burned down. Her cats had died, both of them. She'd been drugged, she'd been raped, she'd lost all her memory in an accident.

And yet, all those scenarios somehow paled in comparison to his true fear: she'd run.

He could fix the rest. He could deal with the rest. But if she'd run from him, he was helpless. He had no answers to that. How the _hell _could he fix _that?_

How could he have been so goddamn stupid as to _kiss_ her? He'd kissed her, the Ice Queen, on an impulse, and look where it had gotten him. He'd sworn to himself he wouldn't give into his feelings, and then he'd turned around and done just that. He should have known better. Why hadn't he _known_ better?

"Stop it!"

Scotty looked up to find Kat shooting him a threatening glare. "Stop what?" he asked absently.

"Stop tappin' your pencil, genius," Kat snapped. "_Some_ people are tryin' to concentrate here."

He'd been tapping his pencil? Dropping it, he shot her a sheepish smile. "Right. Sorry."

"What's goin' on with you?" she asked suddenly, giving him a hard stare. "You've been a mess since yesterday."

"I ain't a mess," he protested.

Kat leveled a disbelieving look at him. "Right. Says the man lookin' at the door every three seconds, hittin' his pencil like he hates it, and lookin' like his world just collapsed around him. What've you done now?"

"Nothin'," he retorted quickly. She hadn't caught on that his mood had something to do with Lilly, had she? But how could she? He was subtle.

"It's Lilly, isn't it?"

Damn. How did she _do_ that? He looked at her, knowing that she could read the question in his eyes.

She smirked at him. "Woman's intuition. What's goin' on?"

"Where is she?" he groused, resisting the urge to pick up his pencil and start tapping it again. "It's eleven."

"Why do you care?" Kat returned, picking up a file on her desk. "It's break. She's probably takin' the break we're supposed to be havin'."

Scotty snorted. "_Lil?_ Take a break? Come on. I got a better chance of winnin' the lottery than that happenin'."

"What if she is?" Kat grumped. "I wish I was at home with my girl now."

Home. With her daughter. Like she was supposed to be. Scotty felt a sudden wave of guilt over pulling his coworkers away from their warm, festive homes to try and solve his case.

"I'll pay you back for it, you know," he said abruptly. "Comin' in, you know. You didn't have to."

She looked at him in surprise and consideration. "You mean it, Valens? Then say you appreciate me comin' in."

He grinned. "I appreciate you comin' in for my cousin. Really. Anythin' else?"

"Yeah," she said, looking back down at the papers on her desk. "Get your ass outta that desk and to the store. I expect a hot coffee and donuts on my desk in ten."

He couldn't help but grin. "Yes, ma'am."

It gave him something to do other than worrying himself to death over Lilly, at least. Putting on his coat, he ran out into the cold and down the street to the nearest coffee shop. He ordered a chocolate twirl, Miller's favorite coffee, and turned to leave. Then, before he could change his mind, he turned back and ordered another coffee. Balancing his order carefully, he strode back to the precinct, letting the hot coffee cups warm his hands.

"I got the coffee," he announced, entering the bullpen.

And then he stopped, spotting Lilly standing next to Miller's desk. Amazing. She'd managed to come in the only ten minutes he _wasn't_ staked out on the door. With a quiet sigh of irritation, he dropped the bag of donuts onto Miller's desk.

"You're back, hot shot," Kat said, leaning forward in her chair. "Mmm, smells good. I just might forgive you for ruinin' my Christmas vacation with Veronica."

"Coffee," Scotty said, handing her the cup. He pointedly avoided Lilly's eyes, afraid of what he'd find.

"Thanks, Valens." She eyed the two of them and asked, "What's goin' on with you two?"

"Nothin'," Scotty said quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Lilly glanced away from him, a strained and completely faked smile on her face.

"I ain't stupid," Kat growled, "so do me a favor and don't act like I'm brain-dead or blind. I see somethin's goin' on."

"I'm just tired," Lilly said before Scotty could answer. "I'm going to get some coffee."

Kat stared at her back disbelievingly, and Scotty hurried after his partner, calling over his shoulder, "I'm, uh, gonna go see if she needs anythin'."

By the time he caught up to Lilly in the break room, she'd already located her favorite mug and was in the process of extracting the coffee pot.

"Wait!" he said, grabbing her hand to stop her from pouring herself some of the sludge that came out of the police coffeepots.

She shot him an annoyed look. "I'm tired, Scotty, so I'm going to have some coffee. You have a problem with that?"

Suddenly highly conscious of how smooth her hand was under his, he released her and cleared his throat. "Here, uh, take this one."

Slowly, she took the coffee he held out to her, the extra one he'd bought from the store. "Thanks," she said slowly. "What's the occasion?"

He shrugged, grinning. "Nothin'. Just felt like gettin' some for you."

He thought he saw her blush, but he couldn't be sure. Her Ice Queen mask was there in full force today, and he couldn't tell much from her expression. He was at a loss on what to say to her.

_Your apology, stupid._

Apology. Right. He'd spent the better part of the night trying to think of an acceptable way to apologize to her about how stupid he'd been in the diner, but he hadn't come up with much. He supposed it didn't help that he wasn't sorry at all for what he'd done. In fact, it was probably the most brilliant thing he'd done in a while. The only way he'd be sorry for it would be if she pushed him away because of it. But he owed her an apology nonetheless.

"Listen," he said, running a hand through his hair nervously, "I wanna talk about yesterday."

He noticed the barest flash of fear in her eyes. "Well _I_ don't want to talk about it," she said firmly.

She made to move past him, but he caught her arm. "Listen, Lil, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed you and…and kissed you like that. I guess it was sort of an impulse thing, and I wasn't thinkin'. I mean, if it made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I just…" He hesitated before pressing on. "I just don't want it to come between us. As partners."

She opened her mouth, and there was _something_ in her blue eyes that he couldn't exactly put a finger on, but then it was gone. Her eyes were carefully blank again, and she smiled. He could tell it was forced. "It's okay. Partners, right?"

He should have felt relieved. Instead, he felt somewhat disappointed. Some part of him—some stupid, idealistic part—had been half-hoping that she'd come out and tell him that it hadn't been a mistake, that it had been as incredible for her as it had been for him. But it seemed like she wanted to move on and forget about it, so he could live with that.

"Yeah, partners," he returned, grinning.

She smiled again, and this time, it was a little more real. "Thanks for the coffee. Didn't get one for yourself?"

"Nah," he said. "It was a peace offering."

"Mmm," she murmured appreciatively as she sipped the hot drink. "I should get mad at you more often."

He chuckled. "Hey, you don't have to try that hard. Just ask, and I'll get you some. Gives me an excuse to get myself some too."

She smiled at him, brushing past him out to the bullpen. "I'll keep it in mind."

* * *

By the time six in the afternoon rolled around, the entire squad was cranky and bad-tempered. They hadn't found any new leads the entire day, and Doreen Redding still hadn't been located. The drugs angle on Ronald Elliot had hit a dead end, mainly because the man staunchly denied using drugs and none had been found in his house after a thorough search. That didn't leave much to go on, since Enrique was still bedridden and confused as to what exactly had happened the night he'd been shot.

To their surprise, though, Lilly was the first one to call it quits. At six thirty, she stood, told Boss she was going to take off, nodded a quick goodbye to the squad, and disappeared after collecting her things.

"Where the hell's she goin'?" Scotty demanded, staring at her retreating back. "She _never_ leaves early."

Kat shot him a look. "It's Christmas. She's got plans like any other sane person."

Vera snorted. "Lil doesn't have plans. She never does."

Kat shook her head. "Just 'cause she didn't have a life before doesn't mean she can't start now. She told me she had plans tonight."

Scotty pretended not to listen when he was in fact sitting stiff with attention. Lilly had _plans?_ And she hadn't told him? What kind of plans? The curl-on-the-couch-with-her-cats-and-a-book type of plans? Or more of the go-frequent-a-bar-or-night-club-in-hopes-of-catching-a-date type? Or, holy crap, the already-have-a-date-with-a-hot-guy type?

Someone chuckled practically in his ear, causing him to curse and drop the pen he'd been twirling. "Jesus, Kat," he snapped. "Don't scare me like that."

"Don't think so hard, hot shot," she remarked. "It makes you look constipated."

He rolled his eyes. "So…uh, did Lil tell you what type of plans she had?" He hoped he sounded casual.

"Nope. I begged her, but she wouldn't spill. Tough girl when she's got secrets to keep."

Vera leaned forward in interest. "Secret plans? _Lil?_ What the hell could she be doing?"

"She's meetin' a guy, dumbass," Kat said, rolling her eyes. "What else would she be so secretive about?"

A guy? She was seriously meeting a guy only a day after he'd kissed her? Had he truly not affected her _at all?_

_Duh,_ his inner voice put in sarcastically, _you gave her every indication that the kiss hadn't meant anything. So of course she's fine with grabbin' another guy at the first chance._

Of course. He tried to smother the sudden jealousy that hit him. Lilly was entitled to other guys. Jeez, she wasn't even his, had never been. She had every right to go off and have fun with someone else. He had a right to shut up and act like it didn't hurt.

"Lil's got a guy," Vera mused, tapping his pencil. "Imagine that. Wonder what he's like."

"Probably smart," Kat said, "and nice. Blonde, I'm guessin', with blue eyes like hers. Dependent type, so she can feel in control. Lord knows that girl needs to be in control. Doesn't argue with her, buys her everything she wants, doesn't get mad at her either. You know, all-around nice guy who's gonna be there for her."

So basically everything he wasn't. Wonderful. If that wasn't a blow to his ego, he didn't know what would be.

"Some heavy guesswork there," Vera said, suspicion glinting in his eyes. "You know somethin' we don't?"

Kat shook her head. "Nope. Just guessin' her type. You know, usin' my woman instincts."

Vera snorted, and Kat shot him a glare. "Don't be like that 'cause you're jealous."

The burly detective looked at her incredulously. "What could you possibly have that I'd be jealous of?"

"You're wishin' you had my woman's instincts," Kat told him confidently. "For that lady of yours that you're pining over."

"He's pinin' over a girl?" Scotty repeated in sudden interest.

"Jeez, don't say it like I'm dyin' or somethin'," Vera grumped. "I just got a girl I like, okay? Remember the girl I talked to you about, Valens?"

He vaguely recalled the conversation. "Right. The one you still haven't asked out yet."

Vera harrumphed. "It ain't that simple."

"You been gettin' to know her like I told you?" Kat asked.

Vera rolled his eyes. "Don't think I can know her any better than I already do."

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard," Kat said, sighing. "No wonder you haven't got her yet. Remember, Vera, never tell a woman you know everything about her. Women like to have a little mystery about them, and they like a man who doesn't think he knows everything to know in the world. Do her a favor and scrounge up some humility. She might come runnin'."

"I don't think she'd run for anythin'," Vera muttered. "Except maybe a donut."

"Donuts?" Kat repeated, sounding surprised. "She likes donuts too?"

"Yeah, she's kinda like you," Vera admitted, sounding curiously…embarrassed? Scotty stopped twirling his pen and stared.

"Is that right?" Kat said, not catching the quiet strain in Vera's voice. "Then it makes my advice all that more useful."

Scotty leaned forward in his chair as Vera said something back to Miller. With narrow eyes, he watched Vera's face closely. There was something going on there. Vera didn't get embarrassed for nothing, and he sure as hell didn't get embarrassed while arguing with Miller. The two of them shot some words back and forth while Scotty watched them closely. Miller seemed perfectly normal, but Vera was a little more reserved than usual. There was something in his eyes, the way he laughed sarcastically…

And then it hit him. Holy crap. Holy _crap._ Nah…it couldn't be. Not Miller…not Vera and _Miller, _of all people!

But they were there. All the clues. Vera's mystery woman was standoffish, closed, sarcastic, someone he saw often, and she liked donuts. Put all that together with that embarrassed look in Vera's eyes when he talked about her in front of Miller and the truth popped like a neon sign.

Scotty had to swivel suddenly in his seat to stifle his laugh. Who would have thought it? His loudmouth, obnoxious friend had fallen for the probably one of the only women capable of beating him in an argument and kicking his ass halfway around the world. Oh, man, he had his work cut out for him.

"What's so funny, Valens?" Vera demanded suddenly. "You think my girl problems are funny?"

Hell yeah. But he wasn't going to say it and sign his death warrant. "Nah, man," Scotty said, grinning widely. He stood and slipped on his coat. "I'm gonna cut out early too."

As he left, he couldn't help but call back over his shoulder, "You two have fun now." Vera grumbled, and Kat complained about being left with him. Scotty shook his head and headed out into the night.

It had started to snow, so he pulled his coat in closer and debated on where to go. He probably should head back to the hospital to see how his cousin was doing, but they'd gone that morning without result. He could go visit all his relatives back at his father's house, but he wasn't quite up to dealing with the inevitable headache of hanging around a pack of screaming children. His empty home seemed too lonely a thought at the moment, so he decided to head to a bar nearby. Nothing like a good drink to take his mind off things.

He stopped off at a bar that he'd visited once or twice. It was one of the nicer ones around, and he didn't think he'd run into anyone he knew here. Probably good for a quick drink and a little distraction before he got a start on the case again the next day.

It was dark inside except for the stage, which was lit brightly by a spotlight. A woman was singing some slow, rhythmic country song that struck a pang through him. It almost sounded like the song in his car, the one Lilly had said she liked.

He shook his head to banish thoughts of her. He was here to have some fun, not think about his partner. Anything but that.

He slid into a booth and snagged a passing serving girl, asking for a beer. He wasn't in the mood for anything heavy, and he wouldn't have too many. While waiting for his drink, he settled back and listened to the singer, letting the words wash over him, calming him.

"Excuse me."

His eyes snapped open, and he realized he'd been close to slipping off into a doze. Jeez, he must have really been tired. Blearily, he focused on the person in front of him.

It was a tall, bright-eyed woman, dressed semi-formally in a short green dress that ended just above her knees. She smiled at him, and he realized that she'd asked him a question.

"What?" he said, sitting up straighter.

"I asked if you had company," the girl repeated. "Can I sit or are you waiting for someone?"

Was he waiting for company? Nah. Did he mind some? Nah again. Maybe it would take his mind off his problems.

"Sit down," he invited, flashing her his lopsided grin. She flushed, and he realized too late that she was pale. And blond. Oh great. Of all the women in the bar to choose from, he had to choose the one who looked the most like Lilly. He resisted the urge to groan at the irony of it all.

"Thanks," she answered, slipping into the booth across from him. "I'm Lacy."

"Scotty Valens," he introduced, leaning forward on the table on his elbows. "What're you here for?"

"What do you think I'm here for?" she shot back, eyes twinkling. He realized she was giving him the suggestive let's-have-a-romp-in-bed look, and thought it wasn't a bad idea. What better way to forget about his feelings for Lilly than to find a new girl? Even if it was just for one night, it was bound to help him forget at least temporarily.

Scotty smiled more warmly. If there was one thing he was good at, it was picking up girls. "Can I buy you a drink?"

She smiled too, knowing he'd gotten her message. "Sure."

With another lopsided grin, Scotty ordered another beer for the girl and sat back. They launched into some pleasant, casual conversation, and Scotty found himself actually distracted. This Lacy girl seemed like a genuinely likeable person, despite the fact that she resembled his partner a little too closely. He found himself laughing like he hadn't done in days, and he admired how wonderfully natural her hair looked, tied back into an adorable ponytail. Like Lilly's ponytail. He loved how cute his partner looked with her hair pulled back like that, especially when—

_Focus._ This was about _Lacy_, not _Lilly_. He coughed and widened his smile at his companion, wondering if she was up to coming back to his apartment or if he would have to go to hers.

She seemed to get the same idea at the same time. "Your place or mine?" she asked.

He thought for a moment. It would probably be better—and safer—to do it at his place. But he didn't want familiar at the moment, he wanted to forget everything that had something to do with _her._

"Yours," he answered, letting her take his hand as they stood together. With a grin, they swept out of the booth, and Lacy slipped an arm around his waist.

Suddenly someone knocked into Lacy's side, and she turned in annoyance. "Hey, watch it, mister."

The man straightened, and Scotty gave him a glare for Lacy's benefit. The man shook his head apologetically. "I'm so sorry. It's just that she's really bad at dancing."

And then he heard the most familiar voice in the world protest, "I am _not_ that bad at dancing!"

His heart nearly stopped. God_damn_ it. Out of _all_ the bars in Philly, he just _had_ to choose the _exact_ same one Detective Lilly freaking Rush had chosen, on the _one_ night she decided to go out?

His arm tightened around Lacy, and he wondered wildly if he could grab the girl and get the hell out of there before Lilly could turn around and recognize him. He spun Lacy around and—

"Scotty?"

God_damn_ it!

Putting on a feral grin, Scotty spun around again, trying not to show how shocked he was to see her. "Uh, hey, Lil."

She came forward, and he caught a good look at her for the first time. His breath caught in his throat.

As much as her work clothes flattered her, he definitely appreciated her simple t-shirt and jeans. She wasn't nearly as done-up as Lacy was, but Scotty thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful. Her blue t-shirt was almost exactly the same color as her eyes, and she'd done up her hair in that ponytail he adored. And holy hell, her legs, accentuated by those tight blue jeans…it should have been a sin to look that good in jeans.

"Someone you know?" Lacy interrupted, jerking Scotty back from his blatant staring.

He glanced at her distractedly. "What? Uh, yeah, Lacy, this is Lilly Rush, my partner from work."

Lilly shook her hand slowly, and he was surprised to see that she'd gone Ice Queen all of a sudden. She was looking at Lacy with an inscrutable expression, but when she smiled, it was all too obvious to him that it was fake.

"Nice to meet you," Lilly said. "How do you know Scotty?"

Lacy giggled. "Just met him. He bought me a drink."

There was a flash of surprise in Lilly's eyes, so subtle that he would have missed it if he hadn't been staring at her. He thought he detected a trace of hurt on her face, but it was gone in an instant.

"That's nice," Lilly said, grinning. She turned to him and smiled widely. "Getting back in the saddle, Valens?"

_Casual._ He grinned back and said, "Nah, that was Tennessee. I'm all warmed-up now."

She laughed. "Good for you."

"Care to introduce me?" the man who'd been dancing with her asked, an amused look on his face.

"Oh." Lilly smiled at him, and Scotty noted in shock how he reached over to take Lilly's hand. "Sorry. Scotty, this is Jeremy. Jeremy, this is Scotty, my partner."

"You a cop too?" Jeremy asked, reaching forward to shake his hand.

"Yeah," Scotty heard himself say distantly, finishing the handshake quickly. Lilly…had a _date?_ He'd been almost certain that Kat had been lying about Lilly's plans, and yet, here she was, with an actual date.

He was blond-haired, blue-eyed, and attractive enough. He seemed pretty nice too, and Scotty was willing to bet he was the dependent type, ready to roll over at Lilly's command. Exactly the guy Kat had predicted for Lilly. Somehow, that made him just that much angrier.

"Scotty, you alright?" Lilly asked, peering at him.

He had to struggle to focus on her through the sudden rush of hot jealousy that swamped him. Damn it, he wasn't supposed to be feeling this way! He was supposed to be getting over her, ignoring her, doing whatever it took to smother all the feelings that he had for her. Not getting so jealous to the point of not being able to breathe.

"Scotty," Lilly repeated sharply, "you okay?"

He snapped out of his own thoughts, suddenly aware he was clenching his fists. Lacy and Jeremy were staring at him in confusion, and Lilly was staring at him in alarm. Only she knew how close he was to losing it. He just hoped to God she didn't know _why._

"I'm fine," he ground out. Turning to Lacy, he said, "Sorry. I can't tonight." Without even bothering to say goodbye to any of them, he shoved his gloves on and fled.

* * *

**Reviews are love, and I could really use that right now...Just take a second!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the review, guys! They make my day, as sappy as that sounds. **

**This chapter...I don't know about it. It kind of went off on a tangent I wasn't planning. I get the feeling you'll want to slap both Scotty and Lilly after reading this. In their defense, they're confused and they want to bury whatever they're feeling. Not that that's much of an excuse. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

* * *

SEVEN

Lilly shut the door to her house behind her, leaning on it with her eyes closed. She took a deep, weary breath before pushing off the door and greeting her cats. After they were fed and brushed, she stripped off her clothes and practically fell into the shower.

The hot water went a long way in clearing her mind. As she washed her face and scrubbed at her hair, she thought about the day.

It'd started out okay. Scotty had apologized to her about the kiss, which made her ever more certain that it had meant nothing to him. He'd kissed her as a joke, and when he'd realized that she took it as more, he'd apologized for it. Simple as that. The jolt of disappointment she'd felt at that moment solidified her resolve: that was it, she was going out tonight, and she was going to find someone to make her forget her dark-eyed partner with his stupid lopsided grin.

The bar hadn't been hard to find, despite the fact that she had almost zero knowledge of those types of places. It had looked nice, warm, and inviting, so she'd marked it when she drove past it after lunch. Then, at six thirty, she'd up and left, knowing it would leave her friends wondering what on earth was up with her and hoping Scotty would get the message: that the kiss hadn't meant anything to her either, and she was completely fine with moving on. She'd felt his eyes on her all the way until the elevator doors had dinged shut.

Once she'd gone home and changed into something more casual, she'd headed straight to the bar, feeling more and more confident. Jeremy hadn't been difficult to find at all; in fact, he'd come to her. A few drinks later and a dance or two, they'd hit it off. He'd been trying to teach her the basics of dancing, at which she was miserably failing. She might have broken a few of his toes trying to follow his lead. They'd been laughing and having a generally good time.

And then _he'd_ shown up. Stupid, stupid, stupid Scotty with his stupid smile. His name was out of her mouth before she could stop it, and he'd turned around and looked at her with those absurdly gorgeous eyes of his. And she'd thought, for a split second, that maybe he'd come for her. He'd realized that the kiss had been far from nothing and he'd come to find her and bring her home.

But then she'd spotted the tall blonde at his side and realized the truth. With practiced ease, the mask slid over her face, shielding her feelings from prying eyes, shielding her shock and hurt and sickening sense of betrayal.

Which was stupid. She hadn't been betrayed because he hadn't been hers. Ever. But that didn't stop her gut from churning in jealousy at the sight of the woman's arm around his waist.

When she'd introduced Jeremy, _something_ had flickered in Scotty's eyes. Something and the all-too-familiar sight of dark fury in his eyes. He'd been angry about something, and he'd been half a second away from expressing it. Luckily, she'd stopped him in time, and he'd muttered something to the blonde before jetting out of the bar. Without saying anything more to her.

Why?

She turned the question over and over in her mind and couldn't come up with an acceptable answer. She hadn't said anything to stir him up like that, and as far as she could tell, neither had Jeremy or the Lacy girl. She used to think she could read her partner like a book, but he was growing surprisingly enigmatic lately. It was getting harder and harder to read his mind.

With a sigh, Lilly turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Well, the night hadn't ended the way she'd expected. She'd expected to fall into the arms of another man tonight and wake up in the morning refreshed and completely free of her supposed feelings for Scotty. But after he'd just about fled from the bar, Lilly somehow hadn't had the heart to invite Jeremy back to her place. Suddenly exhausted, she'd made a quick excuse and darted out of there to come home alone. Alone with her thoughts.

The last thing she remembered before collapsing into bed was the feel of Scotty's lips on hers.

* * *

He entered the hospital the next morning bright and early as an excuse to avoid the precinct. The rest of the squad had probably already arrived and started on the case, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Instead, he took a seat by Enrique's bedside and stared moodily at the white walls.

After a while, he heard his cousin stir beside him, and he turned. "Hey."

"Hey, man," Enrique said blearily. "What're doing here?"

"Checkin' on you," Scotty replied. "How you feelin'?"

"Still like crap," Enrique groaned, chuckling quietly. "How long have you been here?"

"Just got here," Scotty lied.

They sat in silence for a while as Scotty brooded with his thoughts. Before he could get very far with thinking about the night before, however, Enrique broke in.

"What's eating at you, man?"

Scotty shrugged. "What? Nothin'."

"Liar." His cousin laughed softly. "I've been shot, but I'm not stupid. Something's bothering you."

Scotty sighed. If there was one thing he knew about Enrique, it was that his cousin bit down on something and didn't let it go until he was satisfied. Enrique would probably hound him about this until he went crazy unless he spilled the beans.

He sighed again. "It's…girl trouble."

Enrique laughed louder this time. "What? _Scotty,_ with _girl_ trouble? What happened to you, Casanova?"

Scotty glared at him. "I'm serious."

That gave his cousin a pause. He stopped mid-laugh, and his eyes grew wide. "My God, you're serious, aren't you?"

"Didn't I just say that?" Scotty snapped irritably.

Enrique put up his hand and pulled himself up into a seated position. Scotty glanced at him briefly, afraid he'd hurt himself, but his cousin seemed to manage fine.

"I've got to hear this," Enrique said, obviously struggling to hide a smile. "What kind of girl gets Scotty Valens in a knot?"

"The kind I ain't got a chance with," Scotty said before he could stop himself. Inwardly, he cursed; why the hell was he giving out details?

Enrique's eyes grew even larger, and he leaned forward in interest. "What? Scotty Valens hasn't got a chance with a girl? That's the first I've heard of it. Who is she, some supermodel?"

"Might as well be," Scotty muttered, leaning back in his chair.

"Alright, enough with the vague crap. Some details, please."

Scotty gave him a deadpan look. "Really? I ain't about to tell you all 'bout this girl just 'cause you asked."

His cousin grinned. "Then what do I have to do to make you tell me? I can help."

Scotty snorted. "Like hell. If there's anythin' you're crap at, it's relationships."

"Hey," Enrique protested, shrugging, "I got Pam, didn't I?"

_And she just might be bangin' the guy you're lendin' money to,_ Scotty thought sourly. Then he shook his head just a tad guiltily. They had no proof of the affair, and the Tucker guy had even denied it.

Sensing that he'd clammed up, Enrique grinned and leaned back into his pillows. "Whatever, man. I'll just tell your mom, and we'll see where it goes from there."

Scotty's eyes shot wide open. "Don't you dare, Enrique. Say that again and I'll shoot you."

"Then just tell me, man. You got nothing over me."

Well, he couldn't very well draw his gun and make good on his threat, could he? So Scotty leaned back into his chair and decided to remain as vague as possible.

"Well, she's someone I like…a lot."

Enrique rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. That clears up a lot."

Scotty shot him a glare. "She's…great." He thought about Lilly, about how it was impossible to describe her using only words, and his tone softened. "She's gorgeous and smart and strong and she'd kick my ass if she heard me talkin' about her like this."

Enrique whistled. "Sounds like your type."

"She's definitely _not_ my type," Scotty admitted. "She's scary as hell when she needs to be and she's tough, but sometimes, I can get glimpses of her underneath, you know? Underneath it all. And it's beautiful. I mean, she's got her crapload of issues and stuff I don't even wanna think about, but I can't stop thinkin' about her, you know?"

Enrique's incredulous chuckle snapped him back to reality, and he realized he'd been staring off into space.

"Man," his cousin whistled, "you got it bad for her."

Did he? He wanted to kiss her like he had in the diner and make it last an eternity this time. He wanted to drag her to his home, to his bed, and show her just how bad he had it for her. He wanted to wake up ahead of her and spend the morning just watching her sleep. He wanted to cook her pancakes every morning and see her walk out to him in the kitchen dressed in just his shirt. He wanted to make her laugh and scream and—and love. Love _him._

Yeah, he had it bad for her. He sighed.

"So what's the problem, man?" Enrique asked, staring at the ceiling.

Scotty groaned. "There're so many problems it makes me dizzy." Enrique's gaze prompted him on, and he added, "She's got issues, right? Kinda like commitment issues, I guess. She ain't someone you like and then leave after it gets hard. She's someone you…stay with. For good."

Enrique sat up quickly, staring at him. "What do you mean? Are you thinking about it? Staying with her for good?"

"Nah, man," he said automatically, but then he realized how much of a jerk that made him sound. Was he really willing to stay with her as long as she needed him? Was this it? Hell, he hadn't even gone on a date with her yet, and he was willing to consider this? He didn't want to end up like all of her sorry excuses for boyfriends, the ones who told her that they loved her and then up and left when the going got tough. But it was definitely _way_ too premature to think about making a long-term commitment.

Eventually, Enrique said hesitantly, "You think this is it, man? What you've been looking for?"

"Lookin' for?" Scotty repeated, wondering what he was supposed to be looking for.

"You know," Enrique replied edgily, "after…well, after Elisa…well, before, with her, you were always the long-term relationship kind of guy. Now you're not. You think this is…the connection you've been looking for?"

_Elisa._ Pain, grief, and never-ending heartache.

Suddenly he was angry, and words were spilling out before he could stop them. "Connection? Nah, man, I ain't lookin' for any crap like that. It's shit like that that turns around and bites you in the ass. Love…that crap doesn't exist. You know what? This is stupid. I don't have it bad for her. It's just stupid. It means it's about time I got laid."

Enrique paused at his outburst, then sighed. "You're scared."

He glared at his cousin. "I ain't scared."

"You're scared," Enrique insisted. "You're scared because what happened with Elisa didn't last, and it hurt you like you've never been hurt before. You've got it bad for this mystery girl, but you're afraid of it going deep because you're afraid of being hurt again. You aren't thinking straight, man. What if this is it? What if she's _the one_, and you're throwing it away 'cause you're scared? Just 'cause you're scared, man—"

And then Scotty was out of his seat and standing over the bed, his fists clenched in Enrique's hospital gown. He was half a second away from hurling his cousin out of bed and clocking him a good one, but the rapid escalation of the heartbeat monitor broke through his rage. His cousin was staring at him wide-eyed, his breaths coming in quick gasps. For a long, long moment, they just stared at each other, Scotty looking into eyes that were almost exactly like his own, struggling to control himself. Finally, he slowly unclenched his fists and nearly fell back into the plastic hospital chair behind him.

"Hey, man," Enrique whispered, still breathing hard, "I'm just telling you the truth as I see it."

He was telling the truth as he saw it. Scotty realized suddenly that he hadn't been so enraged only because of his cousin's wild accusations—it was because those wild accusations had stung him with the ring of truth. It _was_ true. He _was_ scared. Pretty damn near terrified, in fact. He'd told himself that he was closing off these feelings—these almost-love feelings—in order to protect his career, her career, and her. But there was something more to it, wasn't there? It was because somewhere behind all that cocky bravado and playboy exterior, he was very simply afraid. Afraid of opening himself up again and being hurt again. He couldn't take another Elisa.

God, he was just like her, wasn't he? Lilly had been hurt so many times, and she was reluctant to let anyone in. But she'd done it more than once, more than twice, and she kept doing it. Where the hell did she get the strength to open up just a little again after every single letdown? She was so much stronger than he was, to be able to try seriously dating again and again even though she knew that there was a huge possibility of being stung yet another time. He hadn't put his heart into any relationship since Elisa, and he'd escaped each woman with minor twinges but nothing more. But he hadn't gotten anything more from them either.

"You're…you're right," Scotty said slowly, his breath coming harshly. "I'm…scared."

Enrique nodded cautiously, tensing as if he was afraid Scotty would lunge for him again. "I know, man. It's just…it's a risk, you know? If you don't take it, you won't ever know what you could have had if you just weren't so scared."

_What you could have had._

Memories flashed through his mind: he and Elisa playing stickball, he and Elisa laughing in a carnival, he and Elisa tickling each other in bed and dissolving into helpless gales of laughter…the happiest memories of his life. Things he'd had with Elisa and things he'd lost. He couldn't remember ever being so blissfully joyful in his life, and he allowed himself to wonder…was that what he was missing? By pushing Lilly away, by not daring to leap, was he denying himself the happiest times he'd ever have? Could he have with her what he'd had with Elisa, maybe even more? Was it all just within his grasp? Had he brushed that happiness there in the diner, when he'd kissed her?

He had to tell her. He had to go back and tell her how strongly she affected him and how badly he wanted to kiss her again and again until they were both breathless. How much he…loved her.

He'd nearly stood from his chair when another memory assaulted him: one of Elisa screaming in terror as he tried in vain to calm her down. And then he was watching a torrent of images of their past, and in each one, he saw Elisa breaking down, succumbing to her giants, screaming and crying and clutching at him with cold clammy fingers. He saw her pressed against him in silent terror, he saw her sad, sad eyes when she'd told him to leave, to get away while he could, and he saw her, finally, as she'd looked in the Schuylkill—cold, still, and simply…gone.

The grief hit him like he hadn't felt it in a long, long time. He stifled a gasp, turning away quickly in his chair to hide his suddenly wet eyes. God…it hurt. This was it—this was his mind's way of reminding him that putting his heart out there hadn't ended well the first time, so why should it end happily ever after a second time? And it was almost worse this time—in their line of work, it was almost guaranteed that one day, Lilly would be hurt, maybe even killed. Trying to be with her—_loving_ her—was practically begging for anguish and heartache. Combine that with her own issues, and he could see again, very clearly, what had stopped him from loving her in the first place.

"Scotty…?" Enrique asked uncertainly.

Scotty stood and grabbed his coat roughly, keeping his still-moist eyes averted. "It's nothin'. Thanks, man."

He couldn't deal with another Elisa. He wouldn't.

* * *

"It's Lilly, right?"

Turning, Lilly was confronted with a red-faced Tucker Quincy, jogging up to her with two cups in his hand.

"Detective Rush," she corrected slowly, eyeing him. "Tucker Quincy. What are you doing here?"

"I prefer Tuck," he replied, grinning boyishly. "I was in the area and thought I'd drop by and see how the investigation's going."

Lilly cast a glance at the precinct behind her. She'd just gotten out and had intended to go home and catch up on sleep before Tucker had shown up.

"It's an ongoing investigation," she told him. "We can't disclose details. Anyway, I'm not the detective in charge of the case. That would be Detectives White and Rizzo."

"They aren't nearly as pleasant on the eyes," Tucker returned, his grin widening.

_What?_ Lilly was so shocked by his comment that she blushed. She was used to getting hit on by suspects in the interrogation room, but this time, it was so unexpected that she could only stare at him.

Tucker glanced at her in sudden shyness. "I mean…well, you _are_ cute, and I was just…well, I…"

He just looked so awkward that Lilly took pity on him. "I got what you meant," she said, grinning. "Thanks, I guess."

"Here," he said suddenly, thrusting one of the cups he was holding at her. "Hot cocoa."

Slowly, Lilly took it, letting the cup warm her hands. "Thanks." She remembered Scotty bringing her coffee, but the instant his face popped up in her mind, she pushed away the thought.

Tucker laughed a bit nervously. "I've been working up my courage for a couple of days now. I was wondering if you wanted to…to go to dinner?"

Incredulous, Lilly stared at him. He was asking her to _dinner?_ _Her,_ a woman he'd met for maybe ten minutes and barely knew?

She opened her mouth to politely decline, but something held her back. This…this could be it—the distraction she'd been searching for. The foray into the bars with Jeremy had ended nearly disastrously, but maybe a more traditional date in a nice restaurant and a movie would yield better results. Tucker was definitely easy on the eyes, and he had bright green eyes, so different from the dark ones she was pushing away. He seemed like a nice enough fellow, maybe a little awkward, but it was kind of cute. She could use the entertainment.

But he was connected to the case. It was strictly forbidden to interact personally with persons of interest in an ongoing investigation. But he wasn't really a suspect, was he? His alibi had checked out, and he had absolutely no reason to shoot the very man who was lending him money. He wasn't dangerous at all.

Eventually, Lilly answered, "Sure. What did you have in mind?"

His entire face lit up, and Lilly realized that he was, in fact, quite handsome. "Great!" he enthused, grinning widely. "If you're not too busy tonight, we can go to a restaurant nearby and grab a movie afterward. How's that sound?"

Tonight. A date with Tucker and a nice movie, or lonely hours curled on her couch with a bunch of case files? She didn't have to think long.

Beaming, he shyly took her hand, and Lilly let him curl his fingers around hers. Alright. She was definitely distracted. A good start, then.

"What's on the menu?" she asked lightly, smiling.

"Cheese steak?" Tucker replied. "I know a good place."

Cheese steak. Scotty. The diner. The kiss.

"Anything but cheese steaks," she blurted out quickly. "I'm sick of them."

He didn't seem to notice how hard she was suddenly blushing. "Is that right? Okay, then, we can just grab some pizza if you want."

"Sounds good."

After a few minutes of walking, Tucker steered them across the street and into a small pizzeria. Lilly had never been there before, but it was nice and cozy inside. They ordered pizza before launching into some casual conversation. Lilly found herself laughing harder than she had in a while, and her mind was blissfully absent of Scotty.

Afterward, they walked to the movie theater and bought tickets for a movie at random. It was funnier than she'd expected, and soon, the two of them were howling with laughter and flicking popcorn at each other. By the time the movie was over, Lilly's ribs ached, and she couldn't stop grinning.

Together, they walked back to the precinct, stopping in front of the doors.

"Thank you for that," Lilly told him, genuinely appreciative. "I needed it."

Tucker smiled. "I thought you might've. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too," Lilly said sincerely. She hadn't had that much fun in a long, long while. Something about Tucker had made her drop most of her guard, and it had paid off. She hadn't had an uncomfortable thought the entire date, and she felt lighter than she had in weeks. She had no illusions about turning this into a long-term thing yet, but she would definitely enjoy a repeat in the future. Tucker was surprisingly good company.

After a moment, he glanced over at her and smiled with that uncertain smile of his that she thought was pretty cute. "But the night doesn't have to end here, you know."

She stiffened at his suggestion. She'd never brought a man into her home on the first date before. But she really felt as if she and Tucker had a…a connection of sorts. He made her laugh, and even though she barely knew him, she felt she didn't have to. He was comfortable, and she liked it. He was the complete opposite of Scotty and it was just what she was looking for.

She opened her mouth, intent on inviting her back to her place for the night. It would be so easy to fall into him and…and forget. Forget those dark eyes and that lopsided smile that she never should have noticed in the first place.

"Why don't you—"

"Rush!"

She shut her mouth abruptly, turning on her heel. _Oh, not Scotty. Dear God, let it not be Scotty…_

To her immense relief, it was Nick Vera, hailing her as he strode out of Headquarters. She forced a smile and asked, "What's up, Vera? You're heading out late today."

Vera shrugged, coming to a stop in front of them. "Miller made me do her paperwork, all 'cause I took her donut. Well, it didn't have her damn name on it, did it? But if I told her that, she'd kill me, so I just shut up and obeyed her. But don't tell her I said that."

Lilly laughed. "That's probably wise. Have a good night."

But he didn't move. Instead, he gave Tucker Quincy a once-over and said, "Ain't you gonna introduce me to your friend here, Rush?"

Damn. She'd been hoping to avoid this. Smiling wanly, she gestured to her companion and said, "This is Tucker. Tucker, this is Nick Vera, one of coworkers."

"Tucker," Vera grunted, shaking his hand. "Sounds familiar."

"No one you know," Lilly said hurriedly. Even if Tucker wasn't a suspect, she doubted Boss would take kindly to her stepping out with someone connected to the case.

Luckily enough, Tucker seemed to get the idea. "Yeah, nice to meet you." He didn't say anything more, and Lilly breathed a sigh of relief.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment before Vera asked gruffly, "You seen Valens?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't seen him all day. He wasn't in the bullpen this morning, was he?"

Vera shook his head. "At the hospital with his cousin."

Oh. The hospital. Of course. And here she was, thinking foolishly that maybe he'd been affected more than she'd suspected by their run-in at the bar the night before. Here she was, making a bigger deal out of things than she should have. He probably wasn't avoiding her…probably. And she shouldn't care, anyway.

"He was askin' where you got to," Vera continued, eyeing her. "He didn't call?"

"No." She masterfully hid her slight disappointment at the thought. But why had she expected him to call? They were partners.

"Oh," Vera said. "Okay. See you tomorrow, then, Lil."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Have a good night."

"You and Tuck here have fun," Vera said, giving her a knowing smile. Then, whistling quietly, he strode off down toward the parking lot, tossing his keys into the air as he went.

"So," Tucker said eventually, turning to her, "about tonight?"

This time, common sense took a hold of her, and she could see the foolishness in taking a man she barely knew into her home. "Not tonight, Tucker, okay? Maybe next time when we know each other better."

He didn't seem disappointed, only understanding. "Sure. Can I call you?"

"Yeah, sure. Try to avoid my working hours, though, will you?"

"Will do." He gave her a playful salute before walking off down the street, his hands in his pockets.

Lilly took a deep breath of winter air and sighed. The night had gone better than she'd expected. She'd eaten and laughed and enjoyed herself, all without Scotty. So it proved she was right, didn't it? It proved that it wasn't Scotty she was craving, it was just a man, any man. Soon enough, these misplaced feelings for her partner would simply…slip away.

* * *

In the morning, Lilly came in to find that over night, they had picked up Doreen Redding somewhere in the city and brought her in. She sat in one of the interview rooms, and Lilly joined the rest of the squad in Observation.

"Mornin', Lil," Kat greeted, her arms folded as she watched their suspect. She eyed her friend's shadowed eyes and slightly hunched posture and guessed wryly, "Late night?"

Lilly managed a tired smile. "You could say that." In fact, she hadn't gotten much sleep at all because halfway through the night, she'd woken up screaming from another nightmare. She'd been tempted to pull on her sneakers and go running, but she'd been afraid of ending up on Scotty's doorstep again. Her body seemed hot-wired to take her there, and she hadn't wanted to take the chance of him spotting her. So she'd just gotten out of bed at two in the morning, made herself a cup of coffee, and sat on the couch looking over the case files for the rest of the night.

She noticed Scotty shooting her an incredulous stare. "What?"

"Nothin'," he answered quickly, turning away. "Just…late night?"

"Didn't I just say that?" she asked, too tired to be irritable.

"With Tucker?" Vera commented knowingly.

Scotty's surprised gaze was pinned on her. "Tucker? Who the hell is Tucker?"

Lilly closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead to forestall the coming headache. God, Scotty would no doubt connect Tucker to the case, and then she'd have to deal with Stillman's lectures and disapproving looks. It made her head hurt just to think about it, and she realized maybe stepping out with Tucker wasn't the brightest of ideas.

"No," she said quickly, before Scotty could inquire further, "not with him."

Vera's eyes widened. "With someone else then? Man, you're gettin' around, Rush!"

Temper flared in Scotty's eyes, and Lilly could tell he was going to snap at Vera for his unintentionally insulting comment. Hastily, she said, "No, with no one. It's just…I had trouble sleeping last night."

The anger in Scotty's eyes morphed almost instantly into concern. "You mean…?" _Nightmare?_

She knew what he was asking even if he didn't finish, and the look in her eyes must have been answer enough for him. He turned away, brow furrowed, but didn't question her further.

"So," Lilly said into the sudden, uncomfortable silence, "Doreen Redding?"

"Picked up this morning in her beat-up truck trying to get out of the city," Kat said, handing Lilly the file. "Bank accounts cleaned out, everything valuable in her house taken."

"She was running," Stillman mused, "that's for sure."

"Arrested for drug possession in '05," Lilly read from the file. "Parking tickets, nothing else major. The drugs, do you think that's our connect?"

"To Ronald Elliot," Scotty added. "It must be."

"She hasn't said anything?" Lilly asked.

They shook their heads. "I haven't let anyone have a crack at her yet," Stillman said. "We're waiting for Rizzo and White to get here since they have authority on the case, but while we're waiting, you want to do it?"

Lilly nodded. "Sure."

"I'll go with her," Scotty volunteered. Together, they stepped into the interview room to face Doreen.

She was a small, mousy woman in her late twenties. Her hair, brown and frizzy, looked like it hadn't been brushed any time in the last week. Her dark eyes darted from Lilly to Scotty suspiciously, but she crossed her arms in an obvious attempt to seem contemptuous of them all.

"Finally," she said as soon as they came in. "Can I go soon?"

"You're going to have to answer some questions for us first," Lilly said, taking a seat across from her. Scotty perched on the edge of the table on her left.

"Questions about what?" Doreen asked snidely, glaring at both of them.

"About Enrique Valens," Lilly replied, opening up the file in her hand. "He was shot a few days ago."

"I don't know who that is."

"Really?" Lilly asked. She fished out a photo of Scotty's cousin and showed it to her. "Remember him?"

Doreen shook her head, but Lilly had already seen the flash of recognition in her eyes. "Are you sure?" Lilly pressed. "You didn't happen to threaten this guy the day before he was shot?"

"I told you, I never met the guy."

After a moment of carefully studying her face, Lilly decided that she wasn't going to break on that point. Instead, she set down the photo and slid one of Doreen's arrest reports across the table to her.

"Drug possession," Lilly read. "You a dealer?"

Doreen shrugged. "That was a long time ago."

"How long ago?" Lilly asked. "Last week? Did you ever sell to a man named Ronald Elliot?"

Again, there was that flash of recognition. Doreen folded her arms defiantly. "Maybe. So what if I did?"

Their connection. So she'd been right.

"When was the last time you sold to him?" Lilly asked.

Doreen shrugged. "Might have been a couple of weeks ago."

"Let me take a stab at what happened," Lilly said, infusing her voice with confidence. "So you've been supplying Ronald Elliot for a while now, and suddenly he comes to you and says, hey, he hasn't got any more money. But, he also tells you he can get some from his friend, this guy." She tapped Enrique's picture. "Maybe a couple of days later, he comes back and tells you that he couldn't get a loan but he still needs the drugs. You won't sell."

"Yeah, so?" Doreen demanded. "He didn't have the money, so I left him. I got other customers."

"Took a look at your accounts," Scotty spoke suddenly. "You're losin' money left and right. Customers must be droppin' off, am I right? So you're desperate to keep even one, even Ronald Elliot."

"But you won't give him drugs just for free," Lilly continued, her voice picking up. "He's got to get the money. But he can't get that either. So you go to the source, to his friend." She tapped Enrique's photo again.

"You go to his house," Scotty said, his voice hardening. "You threaten him, tell him to give Ronald the loan so he can pay you."

"But he doesn't, does he?" Lilly cut in. "He refuses. So you come back the next day, desperate. You shoot him." She leaned in close, so close she could count the freckles dotting Doreen's stubby nose. "Bang! Right there in the chest, right _there." _At her last words, she reached out a hand and pushed Doreen exactly where Enrique had been shot.

"No! I didn't do that!" Doreen protested, her eyes wide now and clear of her earlier bravado. "I swear!"

"Then what?" Lilly demanded. "You pushed him around a little, maybe shot him after a quick conversation? After he refused you again?"

"That's not what happened!" Doreen shouted, her expression angry.

"Oh?" Lilly said disbelievingly, crossing her arms. They were close to the truth, she could tell. "Then why don't you tell us what happened?"

"I went to the house, okay?" Doreen burst out. "Yeah, I went there and yelled at him a little, but not 'cause I wanted him to give Ronald money. Ronald can get money from other places. I was pissed 'cause this guy—" She pointed at the photo vehemently "—was trying to get Ronald to quit. The next time I saw Ronald, he kept talking about how he was quitting and how his friend was telling him how bad the drugs were and crap like that. I got pissed, okay? Ronald's one of my last customers, and you're right, I can't lose him." With an angry huff, she slouched back into her chair sullenly. "But it doesn't matter now, does it?"

"Yeah, it doesn't," Scotty agreed. "You're goin' away for dealin'. You got any other information for us on Enrique?"

Doreen shrugged. "Hey, man, far as I know, that man pissed off a lot of people in his day. The day before I came around to…talk to him? There was another guy there with his wife, in the front lawn. Then all of a sudden, this Enrique guy comes out and they start having some sort of argument. I took one look at them going at it and decided to come back the next day."

"Could you hear what they were arguin' about?" Scotty asked.

Doreen's brow furrowed as she thought. "Nah, not clearly. Looked like they were fighting over the woman or something, though."

Lilly shot a surprised glance over to Scotty, whose jaw was clenched. Either Doreen figured wrong or they were going to have to have yet another talk about Pam and her faithfulness.

"This other man," Lilly said, "can you describe him?"

"Yeah. Short brown hair, pretty cute, in a t-shirt and dirty jeans. Had grease stains on his fingers, like he worked with cars or something."

The words sent a pang through her, and Lilly straightened. "Thank you, Doreen. Someone will come for you soon."

She and Scotty slipped out of the room and exchanged a glance.

"Short brown hair, cute," Lilly began.

"Grease stains, worked with cars," Scotty finished.

Lilly sighed. "Tucker Quincy."

* * *

**Some feedback please! It'll only take a moment!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yep, pretty much all of you wanted to throttle Lilly and Scotty in the last chapter. Hopefully, this one makes up for it a little. I think the worst of the denial is over, and they'll resume smudging/crossing that line soon enough. **

**I'm a little worried about how I wrote this chapter. It might be a bit confusing, but let me know at the end. **

**Disclaimer: Let's take a stab at who owns this...me or not me? **

* * *

EIGHT

Tucker. What Doreen had witnessed opened up that whole boatload of problems with Pam again, and once again, Scotty was irritable through the entire morning. As for Lilly, she sat moodily at her desk and wondered what kind of luck she had. She'd tried not once, but _twice_ to find a distraction from Scotty and both times, they had crashed and burned. Now that Tucker was once again a person of interest in the case, there was no way she was stepping out with him again. If she hadn't believed before that she had bad taste and bad luck in men, she sure believed it now.

The squad was stuck in the bullpen for at least until a new lead turned up. A couple of minutes after they'd squeezed Tucker's identity from Doreen, Rizzo and White had shown up, plenty pissed that they hadn't gotten the first crack at the witness themselves. Stillman had offered what information they'd discovered in hopes of a little reciprocation, but they'd shut up like clams. In no uncertain terms, they'd told the squad to stay put while they went to interview Quincy. With no authority and no new leads, the five of them sat sullenly in the bullpen through the afternoon.

"Well, this is useless," Stillman said eventually, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "It doesn't look like we'll be following up on anything else today. I think it's about time we all took off."

None of them moved. They silently exchanged glances before standing up in mutual, silent agreement.

"A drink before leaving sounds good," Stillman agreed aloud, gathering up his coat. They were all tired and moody, and a drink sounded as good as anything at that moment. Donning their coats and gloves, they tramped through the snow-covered street to Jones' Tavern. The warmth inside was alluring, and they took a table gratefully with quiet sighs.

"This is turnin' out to be one god-awful Christmas," Vera grunted, leaning on the table.

"I just wish we could solve this case once and for all," Miller grumbled. "We ain't any closer to solving this thing now than we were in the beginning."

"Doreen Redding might have given us a solid lead," Lilly reminded her quietly. Too quietly. Scotty watched her closely and was frustrated to find that she had all her emotional walls high and impenetrable. He wondered what was bringing her down, other than the case and the fact that this holiday season was turning out pretty dismally. By the way she sighed every so often and stared into her drink, it was something more than that. He half-wished they were alone so he could call her on it, but then again, he probably wouldn't have had the courage.

"Even if she got us a lead," Miller continued, "those two buffoons told us to stay away from their case." She grumpily took a swig of her beer and rolled her eyes.

"He didn't say it in such definitive terms," Stillman said, shrugging. "We can have a crack at him after those two are done with him."

"Meanwhile, let's get roarin' drunk," Vera suggested, taking a long drink from his beer.

"I wouldn't go that far," Kat remarked, taking a more conservative sip of her drink. "I'm not interviewin' the next suspect with a hangover."

Lilly smiled. "I second that." She sipped her beer too, but almost instantly, her eyes went far away. Scotty would have given almost anything to know what she was thinking then, but there was a fat chance of that. If Lilly Rush ever decided to open up, he doubted it would be to _him_ of all people. It would probably be to someone she knew better, like a relative—not that he knew where any of those could be found. Lilly had made it infinitely clear that she had no other family than her drunk of a mother and troublemaker of a sister.

Soon enough, they had all drunk enough to begin to enjoy themselves. Vera and Miller bantered back and forth until they were red in the face, and Scotty watched them with new perspective. Now that he knew about Vera's mystery girl, everything the burly detective said took on new meaning. And now that Scotty knew what to look for, it was all too easy to spot the signs of a crush; the way Vera talked with Miller more than anyone else, the way he courteously—and surreptitiously—bought her another drink, and that slight twinkle in his eyes when he looked at her were dead giveaways.

Jeez, their little squad was getting all messed up, wasn't it? Vera having feelings for Miller, himself having feelings for Lilly…Scotty knew instinctively that this wouldn't end well.

But why worry about things that might never happen? He was pretty sure Vera wouldn't be able to work up the guts to admit anything to Kat, and he sure as hell wasn't saying anything to Lilly, not after their near-disastrous incident at the diner. For all he knew, all this affection stuff would fade away after a while. It was probably just a phase for him and Vera.

"Twenty bucks you can't sing that song better than that guy, Vera," Miller said suddenly, nodding her head at the man on the stage.

Lilly eyed their current entertainer, who was warbling in a high, wavering voice and looked half a second away from collapsing. Halfway through whatever he was singing, he faded off into quiet sobs and hiccups, and then all of a sudden, he was bawling like he'd witnessed the end of the world. The squad eyed him wordlessly for a long moment.

"You know what?" Kat said slowly. "Never mind." She retracted her money. "Even you probably could."

Vera rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miller. I happen to have a perfectly good singing voice, thank you."

Kat snorted. "Okay, twenty bucks says you can't get a standing ovation."

Vera didn't even hesitate. He took a long swig of beer and lurched to his feet. "You're on. What song?"

She smirked. "Whatever you want, Elvis."

Lilly laughed. "This oughta be good."

Scotty turned his head to look at her. She seemed to be in a much better mood now that she'd knocked a few back. The sparkle was back in her eyes, and her smile had progressively become more genuine. Seeing her enjoying herself widened his own grin, and he turned back in time to see Vera prying the microphone from the sobbing singer's hands.

The music started up slowly, and Vera opened his mouth. At the first note, the entire squad nearly popped blood vessels from the shock.

Vera was…_good._ Scotty hadn't ever imagined that his burly, gruff friend hid a voice like _that._ He couldn't stop from staring as Vera moved smoothly from one word to the next, his lips tugging into a smirk. No doubt he'd spotted them hastily trying to collect their jaws from the table.

"Damn," Kat breathed, her eyes still side. She stared at him like she'd never seen him before, and Scotty tore his eyes away from Vera long enough to try to assess her expression. She seemed awestruck and something like…admiration glinted in her eyes.

_Would you look at that,_ Scotty thought, grinning. _Miller's speechless. Maybe her and Vera ain't such of a long shot after all._

Oh, and Vera just _had_ to have picked a love song. Scotty couldn't quite remember the song title, but the lyrics made the emotion of the song clear as day. Vera might have been staring directly at Miller the entire time, but Scotty wasn't sure. He would have put money on it though.

When the detective had warbled off his last note, many of the patrons stood and clapped for him. He smugly bowed to them and handed off the microphone before strutting back to their table.

"You could have warned me I was about to lose those twenty bucks," Miller grumbled as she handed over the money. All the shock seemed to have been washed out of her system, leaving her usual snappy self.

"Where would be the fun in that?" Vera demanded. "And you wouldn't have believed me anyway."

Stillman lifted his beer to Vera. "Where'd you learn to sing like that?"

Vera shook his head. "That's a secret, Boss."

"School choir?" Scotty guessed, grinning at the thought of Vera in a school uniform belting it out in competitions. "You embarrassed, big guy?"

Miller laughed, apparently picturing the same thing, and Vera grumbled good-naturedly. They lapsed into comfortable silence, content to dwell in their own thoughts and the quiet music of the tavern.

"Well," Stillman said eventually, glancing at his watch, "it's getting late. Janie's expecting me soon."

As he collected his coat, Miller stood too. "I'll be heading home too. God knows what the babysitter's up to now."

Vera shot a furtive look after her, something Scotty didn't miss. "Well," he groused, "it ain't no fun without them."

"By _them_, you mean _her,_" Scotty muttered under his breath, trying to keep his grin from widening.

"What?" Vera asked, sliding into his coat.

"Nothin'," Scotty said innocently. "Have a good night."

He realized once they were gone that it was him alone with Lilly. Again, for the umpteenth time in days. As he looked at her, all blond-haired, blue-eyed goddess half-illuminated in the dim light of the tavern, he had the intense urge to kiss her. This time, though, he clamped down on that train of thought.

_None of that now, Valens,_ he chided himself. Their partnership had been rocked once by him; he wasn't about to do it again.

He waited for her to speak first, but she didn't, just leaned back in her chair. She wasn't in the mood to talk? Fine with him. He could do with staring at her for as long as she decided to sit there.

So he watched her quietly for at least ten minutes before he realized why she wasn't speaking—she'd practically dozed off in her chair, her eyes closed and her neck set at what must have been the most uncomfortable position imaginable. He thought she was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

Chuckling, he reached out and nudged her shoulder. "Lil? Hey, Lil, wake up."

She came to drowsily. "Scotty?"

He stood and took her arm to help her up. "Come on, let's call it a night. You're practically fallin' out of your chair."

She grinned sleepily. "Yeah, I guess. Boss and the others left?"

"A while ago," he answered, helping her into her coat. "I'll take you back to your house, okay?" He frowned at the way she swayed on her feet. "You okay?"

"Just a little sleepy," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "And I think I drank a little more than I usually do."

He glanced back to the table littered with beers. "No kiddin'. I'm not lettin' you drive."

When they made it outside, the cold air seemed to go a long way in sobering her up. She straightened and stepped away from his supporting hand. He missed her warmth almost instantly.

"It's okay," she said, sounding more awake now. "I can get home on my own."

He snorted. "I ain't takin' the chance."

She shook her head. "I'm not asking you to. I can drive just fine."

She had the stubborn edge to her voice, and he decided to let it go this time. If she was sober enough to get all independent on him, she was probably sober enough to drive.

And then he thought about it again and thought, _That's the dumbest logic I've ever heard._ Scotty shook his head as she walked off in front of him toward her car. If she could argue, she could drive? God, he was getting complacent with her safety. She'd probably be pissed at him for driving for her, probably see it as taking away her independence, but he'd be damned if he let her go wrap her car around a pole because she'd been sleepy and he'd been stupid.

With a sigh, he started to jog after her. She'd already made it halfway to her car, and even in the dim light, he could see her trembling. He didn't think anything of it though, other than that it was cold and that she should have been wearing a hell of a lot more than that thin coat.

It was only when she spun around, her eyes wide with terror, and when she flinched away from his outstretched hand that he realized something was terribly wrong.

* * *

Damn, she was tired. She was vaguely aware of Boss and the others taking their leave, and she thought about calling it a night too, but she was seriously about to fall asleep right there on the table. She didn't think she could make it back home in time. Between the beer and the lack of sleep the night before, she felt herself nodding off.

Then Scotty was nudging her awake again and helping her into her coat. She was dimly aware of how warm his hands were as they helped hold her up, and together, they stumbled out of Jones' and into the cold night air.

The chill outside stung her cheeks and jerked her fully into wakefulness. Lilly straightened, abruptly aware of how close she was to Scotty, and stepped stiffly away. She hoped he couldn't see her blushing.

She remembered him saying something about taking her home and flushed. She was independent, damn it. She didn't need some guy to take care of her all the time, and she _especially_ didn't need _Scotty._

"It's okay," she said suddenly, infusing strength into her voice. "I can get home on my own."

Just as she'd expected, though, he didn't leave it at that. "I ain't takin' the chance," he said, scoffing as he glanced toward his car.

She glanced at him. He was staring right back at her with those intense dark eyes of his, stubbornness set in his jaw. He wanted to help, wanted to protect her.

_But I'm not some damsel in distress,_ Lilly thought a bit bitterly. She'd trusted people to take care of her before and look where it had gotten her. Sure, driving her home was a little thing, but it would grow. She'd grow to depend on him more and more, and he'd leave her. Like her mom. Like Patrick. Like Kite.

Besides, if they were stuck in as small a space as a car, she wasn't sure if she could be trusted to keep her hands to herself. Her fingers were already itching to grab him and repeat what had happened in the diner. Just barely, she retained enough control to keep her hands stuffed in her pockets.

"I'm not asking you to," Lilly said. "I can drive just fine."

Not waiting for him to reply, Lilly headed off toward her car. Scotty seemed to be letting her go, and she sighed in relief. She fished around in her coat pocket for her keys and eventually found them rattling around with some loose change. She glanced up and—

Her heart skipped a beat. The moon wasn't out tonight, and with the way the dim light hit the sidewalk in front of her, it almost looked like…

_Stop that,_ she chided herself, trying to stop her heart rate from ratcheting up in terror. _It looks nothing like that street._

But suddenly the way the snow was pushed to the side looked all-too-familiar, and the way the trees were planted seemed exactly like they had been all those years ago. She took a faltering step and felt a sickening sense that she was headed to the convenience store.

_This isn't the same way, _she argued silently with herself. _This is the way out of Jones'. I'm walking to my car. My car, damn it!_

The wind rustled through the leaves, producing the same high whistle she'd heard that one night so many years ago. And then she was—

—_on her way to the convenience store. She gave up trying to figure out why Mom had sent her so late. She'd learned long ago that her mother needed her drinks, whether it was day or night, whether there was a tornado outside or not. If it kept her from becoming the frightening person who screamed and threw things around the house, Lilly would fetch her drinks at any hour. _

_She shivered slightly, wishing she had one of those fluffy winter coats she'd seen once in a store. The fabric had been thick and waterproof, and the fur on the collar had felt so soft. But it had cost almost fifty dollars, so much! _

_With a sigh, Lilly pulled her thin jacket closer around herself and eyed the snow drifts pushed to the side of the sidewalk. She remembered with a smile a couple of days earlier when she and Chris had made snow angels outside while their mother had filmed them, laughing. That had been one of the good days. She hoped there were more of them to come. It was almost Christmas after all. They'd get presents and clothes, and maybe, if they were good, they might even see Santa Claus! _

_Her thoughts warmed her, and she quickened her pace. It was only a couple of more blocks to the convenience store, and then she could get home to warmth. She wondered if they could get a Christmas tree this year. It had been a long time since Lilly had had one, but their mother had promised this year. They'd even carefully cleared a space in the living room for the tree when they got it. Lilly thought of all the fun they'd have decorating the house and shivered with excitement. _

_The street was darkening. The only light came from a lone lamppost a few hundred feet in front of her, and it looked like it was slowly dying. Suddenly aware of the darkness, Lilly trembled and sped up her pace again, the excitement she'd felt thinking about the tree fading. _

_She inwardly chided herself. It was ridiculous of her to be scared. How many times had her mother told her—proved to her—that nothing lurked in the shadows? Being afraid of the dark was a baby thing. She was a big kid. _

_That didn't stop her from increasing her pace nervously though. The convenience store was just ahead. No need to worry. She was going to be fine. _

_And then there were—_

—footsteps echoing from behind her. Lilly felt herself start to shake, an irrational fear creeping up through her, sending chills that shook her to the core.

_It's nothing,_ she thought shakily, but she was unable to quell the panic. _I am—I am Detective Lilly Rush, Philly PD, Homicide. I am not that little girl. I am _not_ that little girl. I am Detective Lilly Rush. Detective…Lilly…_

Terror, raw and unstoppable, swamped her. Her heart felt like a wild animal clawing its way out of her chest, and she shook uncontrollably. Eyes wide with panic, she spun on her heel, tears in her eyes.

Someone was there. Someone in dark clothes, wreathed in shadows, his face unrecognizable in the dim light. He reached out a hand, and she flinched violently away, stumbling over herself in her haste to get away—to escape—to run—

"Stop!" she cried, her voice choked with all the terror of that ten-year-old she'd been. "Stop it!"

The figure paused, but it was only a moment of hesitation. He reached out again, drawing closer and closer—

She wrapped her arms around herself, close to tears. Her throat worked convulsively, choked with unshed tears, and she opened her mouth once, then twice. She couldn't force out any words, and he was _still_ coming.

Finally, shaking, she managed, "Don't! Stop it!"

"Stop what? Don't what?" His voice was familiar, but all the panic pushed that thought away. He sounded…confused.

He'd stopped, for good this time. She couldn't stop shaking though, and she whispered brokenly, "Don't hit me. Don't hit me anymore."

"Lil? What's wrong? Lil?"

He stepped forward, and she stepped back, eyeing him warily. The panic was starting to recede as she realized that maybe this man wouldn't attack her. If he'd intended to hit her, he would have already, right? Maybe he just wanted money. Maybe he would leave her alone.

"God, Lil, you're scarin' me. What the hell's goin' on?"

He stepped forward again, and this time, it brought him directly under the lamppost. The light threw his face into sharp relief, and she felt like she'd been slapped mentally when she recognized him.

_Scotty. _

And just like that, it was like she'd surfaced from a dream, from a memory, and she realized what had happened.

She'd left Jones' Tavern. She'd been walking to her car. The street…the street had looked familiar, like the one she used to walk to the convenience store for her mother. She'd been thrown into a flashback, and when Scotty had run up behind her, she'd panicked. Panicked badly.

_Oh God,_ she thought, looking at the stricken look on Scotty's face. _Oh God. _She'd broken down in front of him. There was no way he was going to let this go.

"Lil?" he asked cautiously, staying where he was. He held up his hands like he was calming a suspect, and his eyes were wide with shock.

She stepped back, hoping the darkness would hide her tears and her embarrassment. "Scotty…I…"

She almost sounded like herself again. The relief that rushed across his face was all-too-clear, and the tension in his shoulders relaxed.

"Lil, you okay?" he asked.

No, she was most definitely not okay. But he was the last person she'd admit that to now. She just had to get home, where she could break down quietly. Alone.

"I'm—fine," Lilly managed, turning her back to him. "I'm just gonna head home now—"

Before she could take more than a step, he grabbed her arm. His expression had crossed from relieved to angry.

"Don't," he said sharply, his eyes burning. "Don't you lie to me."

At the intensity of his gaze, her breath caught in her throat. Could he see the pain in her eyes? Could he see the hurt?

"Scotty," she said as steadily as she could, "let me go." _Let me go before everything crumbles._

"Like hell," he snapped, jerking her closer to him, into the light. "Not until you tell me what the _hell_ just happened."

"Nothing," she tried, her voice sounding feeble even to her own ears. "Nothing happened, Scotty. Let me go!"

"Stop it!" he shouted suddenly, grabbing her arms above the elbows. "Goddamn it, stop acting like you're okay when you're not! I know somethin' happened there, and I don't care if you tell me what the hell it was, but you _ain't_ okay, and I _ain't_ gonna let you just walk out of here like nothin' happened!"

He had to stop. He had to stop acting like he truly cared because she was half a second away from bursting into helpless tears.

"You ain't okay," he whispered again, and his eyes changed. No longer furious, just sad. Anguished. Scared.

Scared for her. It hit her like a ton of bricks then—he _cared._

Truly.

She'd always known that her co-workers—her friends—cared for her. She depended on them minimally. They lightened the memories, the loneliness. But whatever this was in Scotty, it wasn't the same caring Lilly had seen before in Vera's eyes, or Miller's expression. It was…different.

Deeper.

She wanted to believe it. She wanted so desperately to believe that he cared for her more than either of them would ever admit. But she couldn't. Years of heartbreak and letdowns slammed down on her, and she brought herself under control with difficulty.

_Calm down,_ she thought. _Of course he cares; he's your partner. Now stop going into hysterics and think rationally. _

She took a deep breath, suddenly exhausted. "I want to go home. Will you drive me?"

He looked surprised at the change of subject and at the fact that she'd asked him for a ride. "Uh…sure, Lil, let's go to my car…"

Forcing herself to stop trembling, Lilly followed him to the car, probably sticking nearer to his heels than she usually did. The fear didn't disappear entirely until she was tucked safely in the car.

The ride to her house was silent, but the air crackled with tension. She could feel Scotty's eyes on her from time to time, trying to figure her out. _Too bad, Scotty,_ she thought. _This is one secret you'll never hear._

He followed her into the house and watched as she flicked on all the lights. The cats came slinking out, clearly upset that she hadn't come home to feed them earlier, and she murmured comforting words to them before feeding them. When all that was done, she came back into the living room to stand at the back of the couch, studiously avoiding Scotty's gaze.

"So…" he said eventually. "You okay here? Got everythin' you need?"

Lilly smiled tiredly and nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

He nodded but didn't move to open the door. "You…about earlier…"

She swallowed. "Scotty—"

He continued over her. "Listen, I just…I'm here for you, you know? You wanna talk about it, I'm here for you. But…I ain't gonna force the truth outta you."

She'd never felt such relief and gratitude in her life. She'd panicked and broken down in front of Scotty—_Scotty,_ who needed to know everything that was wrong so he could pick it up and fix it all by himself—and he was just going to let it go? Just like that? He wasn't going to push her, he was just going to…be there.

Abrupt, overwhelming affection washed over her. _Everyone_ pushed her. Everyone she'd ever been with had—had _needed_ something from her. Her mother had needed a drink, her sister had needed springing from bad situations, Patrick had wanted her _and_ her sister, Kite had wanted her without the job she loved so much, and Joseph had wanted the love she couldn't give him. Only Scotty had brought her home after she was drunk, only Scotty had watched over her so carefully, only Scotty had truly _cared_ for her without requiring something in return.

_He's making it so hard,_ Lilly thought wearily. _So hard not to like him._

"Well," he said, a touch uncomfortably, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Lilly looked at him then, really _looked _at him. She was shocked at what she saw. He looked like he'd been hit by a truck and then fallen into the river. He looked cold, exhausted, and worn. His eyes were tired and listless, empty of their usual luster, and he stood with his shoulders a little slumped.

For the first time, she realized how hard the case had hit him. It had hit her and the rest of the squad hard too, sure, but this was his _cousin._ Every day they failed to bring in the doer was another day his cousin's shooter roamed free. It was personal for him as it had never been for any of them.

Guilt washed over her. On top of all of his family problems, she was forcing him to deal with her problems as well. It wasn't right. She had to make it up to him.

He opened the door, but she called softly, "Scotty, wait."

He turned back but didn't look at her, and she continued hesitantly, "You look like hell. You want to maybe crash here for the night?"

He spun around and shot her a surprised look. Hastily, she said, "You don't have to. I mean, don't stay because you think I'm not okay. It's just…it probably isn't good for you to drive looking like that this late at night." She glanced at the clock and winced. "Or this early in the morning."

Slowly, a tired grin crossed his face, and he took off his coat. "Yeah, sure, if you don't mind."

Nodding in relief, Lilly moved quietly to fetch him a couple of blankets and a pillow. "Let me know if you need anything else, okay?"

He nodded as he sat down heavily on the couch. "Yeah, no problem."

After watching him for a moment, Lilly retreated into her bedroom. She drifted off to sleep to the sound of Scotty's soft snores.

* * *

**How did I do on this chapter? In case any of you were completely lost, the italics were the flashback Lilly had after leaving Jones'. It was triggered by the fact that the street she was walking on resembled the street from the attack. Was it too dramatic? Did it seem real enough? How are Lilly and Scotty doing now? Let me know please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to all my reviewers :) Let's keep going, huh? **

**In this chapter...Scotty gets a talking-to from two people and comes to some sort of decision. **

**Disclaimer: I own nada. Figures. **

* * *

NINE

"Remind me why we're here again," Vera asked gruffly, straightening his tie as they tramped up to the dingy apartment where Tucker Quincy lived.

Kat sighed and rolled her eyes. "Those two fluff ball detectives—what were their names again?"

"Rizzo and White," Vera supplied. "Or Wizzo and Black or something."

"Right, those two. Well, they milked Tucker for all he was worth, but they ain't sharin' any information. You know, it's _their_ case and all." Scoffing in disdain, Kat knocked heavily on the door and waited.

They didn't have to wait for long before the door opened, revealing a sleepy-eyed man still dressed in pajamas.

"Tucker Quincy?"

"Yeah, who's asking?"

"Detectives Miller and Vera," Kat answered, flashing her badge. "Philly Homicide."

Before the guy could answer, Vera held up a hand, stepping forward. "Hey, hang on a second. You're—you're _Tucker!"_

Quincy eyed him. "Yeah, genius. Where'd you get your badge from, cereal box?"

Vera was so surprised that he barely heard the insult. "Hey, Miller, this is the guy I caught Rush with a couple of nights ago. You know, her date."

"You know Lilly?" Tucker asked, straightening and looking more interested. "Where's she—"

"Hang on there, bucko," Kat interrupted, her hand flying up. Eyes wide, she turned to her fellow detective. "_What_ did you say, Vera?"

Vera was still staring at Tucker, squinting. "Yeah, I'm sure of it. This is the guy Lil was on a date with a couple of nights ago. Thought he looked familiar."

"Lil had a _date?"_ Kat repeated, incredulous. She'd been talking big about how Lil had plans and about her own woman's intuition, but she'd never actually _believed_…What about Scotty? There was no way Valens knew about this, no _way._ If Kat knew him at all, he would've been silently seething in the office if he'd known. But he'd seemed perfectly normal, or as normal as Scotty got. And what the _hell_ was Lilly doing, dating other guys—_suspects_—when she had her partner looking at her like _that?_

"Yeah, didn't believe it either," Vera said, raising an eyebrow. "What about Valens, huh?"

"She must be blind," Kat muttered incredulously. "Severely blind, _bat_ blind."

"Hang on there," Tucker cut in, a surprised look on his face. "Lilly's got a thing with her partner?"

Kat shrugged. "It's…complicated."

"What about those two _isn't?"_ Vera muttered.

"Something I should be worried about?" Tucker asked, sounding genuinely anxious.

"She shouldn't be seeing you anyway," Kat said firmly, turning back to him. "For one thing, you're a suspect in this case. That makes it against the rules." _And for another, she's got a partner who's so into her he goes crazy. _But that thought stayed in her head.

"I thought I talked about this already," he said, eyes narrowing in confusion.

Kat shook her head. "Let's talk inside."

He held the door open so they could enter. When they were comfortably settled on his couch with him sitting in an armchair across from them, Kat opened up her notebook and said, "New leads. You havin' an affair with Pamela Valens?"

Tucker's eyes widened, and he ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Hey, I thought I already talked about this with those other detectives. You know, White and the other guy?"

"We're part of a different investigation," Vera told him. "So if you wouldn't mind repeating everything you told them?"

Tucker sighed. "I…well, Pam and I…we had something, you know?"

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, we like to call it an affair."

"It isn't like that," Tucker said, sounding frustrated. "You make it sound so dirty and—and wrong. But we're in love."

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Vera muttered. "So why'd you lie the first time around?"

Tucker hesitated, and Kat said firmly, "Listen, Tucker, you tell us everything straight or you're gonna be pinned for this murder. You're looking pretty good for it right now."

He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I wanted to protect her reputation, you know? She never wanted it to get out. We've been meeting pretty secretly."

"Did Enrique know about the affair?" Vera asked.

Tucker shook his head. "I think he might have suspected, but he never confronted us."

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then what was that yelling match about? The one on your front lawn?"

Tucker sighed and laced his fingers behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. "I already told the other detectives it was a misunderstanding."

Vera eyed him. "Did he confront you about his wife?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Then I don't see how it was a misunderstanding," Vera continued. "Got anything to add?"

"Yeah, I do. He didn't get any proof. I mean, Pam denied it, and he believed her."

"And now?" Kat asked, her eyes narrowing. "Why go after Lil?"

Tucker shrugged helplessly. "When Pam denied the affair…well, I always thought we'd tell Enrique some time. I thought if she loved me enough, that would be it. But she denied it. I guess my feelings ran deeper than hers. Lilly looks like her, kind of, so I thought I would take her out on a date to get over Pam."

Well…it sounded semi-believable. Which begged the question: what the hell was Lil doing? She knew that stepping out with persons connected to the case was against the rules. There was no way Lilly Rush in her right mind would break the rules. Which meant she _wasn't_ in her right mind. Kat had a sneaking suspicion that her strange behavior had at least something to do with Valens. After all, the two of them had been sneaking awkward glances and sitting in uncomfortable silences for a couple of days now.

"All right, Tucker," Kat said, standing, "we're gonna check up on your alibi again, make sure it's nice and tight. Make sure to stick around. I don't wanna have to chase you down if we need you again."

He nodded. "Sure thing, Detective. I wouldn't dream of running."

* * *

The morning hadn't gone as smoothly as he'd hoped, but at least Lilly didn't throw him by the ear out her door. They'd woken up at around the same time, had a quick breakfast of granola bars Lilly managed to dig up, and had awkwardly endured a car ride to Jones' to pick up Lilly's car before rounding back to the station. Through the whole time, they'd barely exchanged two words, though Scotty watched her like a hawk.

She seemed…fine, as much as he hated to admit it. He hated to even think that because he'd seen firsthand the night before just how _not_ fine she was. She'd been terrified in every sense of the word. He'd never seen her like that before and it scared _him_. Detective Lilly Rush…afraid? Nah, the words didn't even belong in the same _thought_, let alone the same sentence. Sure, when she was facing off some serial killer, she had a right to be scared. Maybe even when she was going to meet his family, he could sort of understand that she was a little nervous. But at _nothing?_ There had been nothing there last night that could scare her like _that_. Scare her to the point of shaking so hard he thought she'd break something.

_Don't hit me. Don't hit me anymore._

Her voice was what had horrified him the most. She was Lilly Rush, for God's sake! She was supposed to sound strong and fierce and fearless. Not scared like that. Not…broken.

He closed his eyes briefly. _Broken._ His beautiful, strong partner, broken_._ It hurt him to think about it, to think that something out there had hurt her so bad she sounded like some damn shattered soul he couldn't save. Because he _hadn't_ been able to save her last night. She'd flinched away from him, and he hadn't been able to gather her in his arms like he so desperately wanted to.

He clenched his hand into a fist. Why the _hell_ wouldn't she let him in? He was _there_ for her, damn it, he'd always been there for her. For once, just _once_, wouldn't she cry on his shoulder?

He'd seen the tears. He'd seen, oh so very briefly, the deep hurt in her eyes as they swam in silent tears. He'd been shocked nearly speechless because never in his wildest imaginations had he _ever_ imagined Lilly Rush even close to teary-eyed.

And now things were painfully awkward between them. He was sure it wasn't because of anything on his part. It was all Lilly. Maybe she was embarrassed about the night before? No, for certain she was embarrassed about the night before. If there was anything he'd learned about Lilly in the four years he'd worked with her, it was that she hated to seem weak. But it didn't seem to be completely that. Maybe she was uncertain about letting him stay the night? He hadn't been able to figure out her feelings about that. If he'd gotten the slightest hint that she didn't want him there, he would have hightailed it out of there so fast he would have made himself dizzy. But she'd offered first, so it meant she'd wanted him there to some extent, right?

He shook his head in quiet frustration. He was never going to figure her out, and it was high time he stopped trying.

"Scotty? I'm ready."

He started. "What? Oh, yeah, I'll sign you out, and we'll go to the car."

Still far into his thoughts, he distractedly signed his cousin out of the hospital and brought him out to the parking lot. That morning, he and Lilly had split at the precinct, with her going in to follow up on whatever Miller found, and him heading to the hospital to pick up Enrique. Doctors had deemed Enrique fit enough to return home for the holidays with orders to take it easy for a few weeks.

"I'll take you to Ramiro's," Scotty said as he slid into the car.

"You aren't staying?" Enrique asked, taking the passenger seat.

"Nah, I'm gonna head back to the station and see if my team's dug up anythin' on the case."

Enrique nodded. "You have to find the guy who did this."

"No kiddin'," Scotty muttered. He clenched the steering wheel moodily and made a few sharp, probably dangerous turns. On one hand, he wanted to hurry the hell up and get back to the station. What if Lil needed him? What if she wanted to talk all of a sudden and he wasn't there for her? The thought made him cringe. But on the other hand, what if she _didn't_ want to talk, which, face it, was much more likely? He'd probably drive himself mad with frustration. And besides, if she broke down again, he would be at a loss. What the hell could he say to her to make it better? How could he help when he didn't even know what she was hurting from?

"Scotty? Scotty!"

Scotty jerked back into awareness, realizing that his cousin had been calling his name a couple of times already. "What? Yeah?"

Enrique shot him a strange look. "You okay? You're spacing out there."

"It's nothin'."

"It's been happening a lot lately," his cousin observed. "Let me take a wild stab at it—it's the girl?"

Scotty jerked the steering wheel on accident, swerving out of the lane, and cursed. Enrique chuckled and said dryly, "I'll take that as a yes?"

"Take it however you want," Scotty muttered, seriously not in the mood for prodding.

Apparently, his cousin didn't catch his unwillingness to talk. "So what's it this time? You still haven't told her anything? You're chickening out? _She_ chickened out?"

His cousin was teasing. Scotty knew that. But it didn't stop a hot wave of anger rushing through him. "Hey, man, don't talk about her like that," he snapped. "She ain't the type to chicken out." _Much._ "And it ain't her. It ain't all her, at least. It's some of me too."

Enrique sighed. "You're so complicated, Scotty. Your _issues_ have issues. Can't you be simple for once in your life?"

"Don't know what that means."

"Why don't you tell me what's the matter?"

Scotty scowled. "Nah, it's nothin'. You couldn't help anyway."

Now there was a real trace of frustration in his cousin's voice. "How do you know that? I can help if you let me."

_I can help if you let me._

How many times had he wanted to say that to Lilly? How many times had he wanted to shake her, to push her, until she broke so he would finally know what her demons were so he could finally help? One look at his cousin told him that Enrique shared the same frustrations. Then maybe he would understand?

Scotty sighed. "You're right. It's her."

Enrique smiled knowingly. "What's up?"

Scotty shook his head slowly. How could he explain just how…complicated she was? "She's so hard to figure out," he said, his brow furrowing. "She's so closed off. I mean, I've known her for a long time now, but it's like I don't know her at all. She's got some past I got no idea about, and it hurts her, and it's killin' me 'cause I have no idea what it is and I can't help. Well, I can't help anyway because we ain't—we ain't together or anythin', but she doesn't trust me enough to talk to me. I just wish—I just wish I could help, you know?" He sighed and hit the steering wheel lightly in frustration. "I ain't explainin' this very well. It's just…she's so damn complicated!"

For a long moment, his cousin was silent. Scotty glanced at him, trying to puzzle out his reaction, but Enrique did a pretty good imitation of Lil's Ice Queen. Finally, Scotty asked impatiently, "Well?"

"Well, what?" Enrique replied. "You think your girl's the only one who's complicated? Haven't you learned by now that _all_ women are like that?"

"Not as bad as Lil," Scotty muttered, scowling. Of course, of _course_ he had to go and fall in love with the woman with probably the most issues in human history. He also had to fall in love with the woman with a terrible track record with men and with a trust capacity of zero.

Enrique paused for a moment before sending him a sly look. "Did I hear a name there?"

Scotty froze. Had he…? He couldn't have…

_Damn it!_

"Lil?" Enrique repeated, his smile widening. "Now where have I heard that before? Ah, yes! Don't tell me it's the very same Lilly Rush? Your partner?"

Scotty's deepening scowl was more than enough answer to that. Enrique laughed aloud. "I haven't ever really talked to her, but from what I hear, she's quite the woman. Ramiro likes her."

Scotty couldn't help but ask, "He does?"

"Yeah, sure, he told me. The whole family likes her."

"They don't even know her," Scotty replied, rolling his eyes.

"Well, they like her 'cause you do. So…your partner, huh? At least she's pretty."

"Gorgeous," Scotty muttered, unable to banish her image from his mind. God knew he'd dreamed of her so many times he could probably draw her perfectly with his eyes closed.

"So what's the problem, man?" Enrique asked. At Scotty's deadpan look, he added, "Besides all her issues. I mean, if you really love her, you can talk through it, right?"

"I don't love her," Scotty denied automatically. Somewhere inside, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he _did_ love her, undeniably and irrevocably. But his conscious mind couldn't—or wouldn't—make the leap. Love? It didn't end well, he knew from experience. How many times had he promised himself after Elisa that he would never let himself grow so vulnerable again? Loving Lilly…it would more than likely end badly, and he knew his heart couldn't take it.

"Liar," Enrique sighed, but he didn't push the point.

They pulled into Ramiro's, and Scotty helped Enrique up the path to the house. It looked like the entire family was home today, and they all gathered in the living room to welcome Enrique home. Some of the younger kids cooed and clustered around his legs to ask how it felt to be shot, and their parents frowned and shooed them off. Scotty smiled and basked in the glow of family.

Eventually, after he had said his greetings to everyone, Scotty slipped out the back where it was quiet. Behind the house shimmered a small pond that came well-stocked with little fish the kids liked to try to catch with their hands, not to mention the occasional frog and snake that had the children shrieking in half-fear, half-fun. Scotty smiled fondly as he remembered his own summers spent here, swimming or getting up to some no-good mischief. Listening to the quiet calls of crickets and the intermittent burp of a frog, he felt some of the tension that he'd been carrying around all week leak out of him.

"Nothing like this place to calm you down, huh?"

At the Spanish, Scotty turned to find his slender friend walking toward him from the house. "Andrea. Didn't know you were here."

Andrea shook her head. "Just got here. They told me you were out back."

Nodding, Scotty turned back to watch the water rippling in the breeze. Andrea came to stand next to him, so near that they were almost touching. He breathed in deeply and could smell the perfume she was wearing, a nice, peachy smell. Nothing like Lilly's smell. As far as he knew, his partner didn't wear perfume, which made her smell good and down-to-earth. He liked that about her, liked that her smell was unique and purely Lilly.

God, why couldn't he stop thinking about her?

He sighed loudly. At his side, Andrea sent him an amused glance. "How are you holding up?"

He looked at her. "What?"

"I can tell that you're worried."

"'Course I am," Scotty answered. "This whole thing with Enrique…I gotta find who did this."

She smiled at him, like she knew something he didn't. "It isn't just that, is it?"

Scotty paused. "What?"

"It's that partner of yours—Lilly?"

What the…? How the _hell_ had she guessed? He shot her a startled look, and she laughed. "A woman knows these things, Scotty."

Damn women and their damned intuitions! They'd never leave him alone.

"Yeah, it's girl trouble," he said, a bit grumpily. After a moment, he asked reluctantly, "How'd you know it was Lil?"

She laughed and leaned on his arm. "I'm not blind, stupid. I saw the way you looked at her. That isn't a look for a partner."

Scotty flushed. Was he really so obvious? If even Andrea—who barely knew Lilly and someone he saw only rarely—could tell, then who else?

"Trouble in paradise?" Andrea teased. "Can I help?"

Scotty groaned. "Not you too. Enrique's already dragged the story out of me once."

"Enrique?" Andrea said incredulously. "You think a man can help with girl troubles? Scotty, when will you ever learn? It's a _girl_ you have to go to for girl troubles. She's the only one who'll understand."

"Understand?" Scotty echoed in sudden frustration. "Nah, I've given that up. No one can understand Lil."

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Sure, I'll go with you on that one. But I know that I definitely understand _you_."

Scotty paused in surprise. "What's this got to do with me?"

"Everything! No wonder you haven't gotten anywhere with her." Andrea released her hold on his arm and shook her head. "A relationship isn't a one-person deal, you know. It takes two to have one."

"Yeah," Scotty said slowly, glancing at her in confusion. "So what?"

"So you think she's the only one with issues?" Andrea retorted. "I might not have any idea what she's got on her plate, but I have a pretty good idea about what's on yours. You've got issues too, Scotty, plenty of 'em. You're half the reason this whole relationship thing isn't working."

"It ain't a relationship," Scotty muttered. "We ain't…I haven't…" _I haven't told her anythin'. _

Andrea sighed in mock exasperation. "That's what I mean, bucko. You're half the reason whatever this is hasn't gone any further."

"It hasn't gone anywhere 'cause it ain't anythin'," Scotty tried. "I mean, who cares if I like her if she ain't gonna reciprocate?"

"Scotty," Andrea said patiently, "I've known you for years. I knew you when you were with Elisa and I knew you after her. This mood you're in—it was the same mood you had when you were trying to figure Elisa out. And those goofy smiles you get when you talk about your partner? They're the same smiles you'd get when you talked about Elisa. So don't tell me it 'ain't anythin'.' You know what you can do for her?"

Scotty groaned and leaned his head back to look at the sky. "I never know what she wants from me."

Andrea smiled. "Solve your own issues."

He looked at her in surprise. "Solve…?"

"Didn't I just say your issues were half of it?" Andrea said. "So solve yours and you're halfway through. _Then_ you can focus on her issues. You only got half your heart in it now, Scotty."

Half his heart. He thought about it, thought about how he was holding himself back because he was very simply afraid, and he knew she was right. But that didn't take away the fear.

He sighed. "It's just…since Elisa, you know…?"

He didn't have to say it. She knew; he could tell by the sympathy in her eyes. "I know it's hard. You don't think I felt the same when Elisa died? She was my friend too, like a sister to me. It's…hard to open up after, isn't it? You're afraid of getting hurt."

"I can't help it," Scotty said helplessly.

"No, you can't," Andrea said thoughtfully. "But I guess…you can decide what's really important to you."

Scotty glanced at her. "I don't get your meanin'."

"Like, if you'd rather be protected or…happy."

Protected or happy. Just thinking about the ripping pain he'd felt when he'd found out about Elisa made him automatically want to choose the former. But thinking about all the good times he had with her and could have with Lilly made him ache for the latter.

He shook his head in frustration. "I don't know."

Andrea sighed before stepping in front of him. Her hands on his shoulders, she started sternly, "Listen, Scotty, I think it's about time you got your head on straight."

Startled by her sudden mood change, Scotty only stared at her. Before he could respond, she'd already continued.

"I don't know anything about this Lilly. I don't know if she's nice or funny or a good person, but I _do_ know that you love her."

"I don't—"

"Don't pull that bullshit on me," she snapped. "I see it, your dad sees it, probably the whole goddamn world sees it but you and her. Like I said, I don't know if it's anything like what you had with Elisa. 'Cause what you had with her was special and one-of-a-kind, something that doesn't come around every lifetime, you know?"

The mention of Elisa made his heart twist, and he angrily brushed Andrea's hands off his shoulders. "I know that. I don't wanna talk about it."

She didn't leave him alone. "Yeah? Well, what I _do_ know is that Lilly must be some girl to make you all twisted up like this. You haven't gotten serious like this since Elisa, and that must be a sign. Listen, I don't know what you have with her, but if it's even half of what you had with Elisa, consider yourself lucky. Some people don't even get this chance once, let alone twice."

He paused, looking at her warily. "What are you sayin'?"

"I'm saying you're one of the lucky ones, Scotty," Andrea sighed, looking away. "When something like this hits you, you gotta hang onto it or you'll lose it in a second. It hasn't happened to me, so I'll be damned if I sit by and let you throw it away 'cause you're too chicken to reach out and grab it."

He stared at her, the gears in his head turning slowly. "Why are you sayin' this? I mean, why do you care what happens with me and Lil?"

She smiled gently. "'Cause you're my friend, Scotty. Isn't that enough?" Patting his shoulder, she walked past him back to the house, where he could hear quiet talking muffled by the walls of the house.

The wind picked up, blowing the water of the pond in increasingly large ripples, and he thought hard, turning over the words in his mind. Everything Andrea said had been true. He _had_ committed only half his heart to Lil, afraid to put anymore out there. No matter what, he knew Lilly deserved all of his heart if she let him in. He was either in or out, and that was what he had to decide before he tried anything with her. It wasn't her issues on the frontline now; it was his.

Preservation or potential happiness? Was his safety more important than any happiness he might find with Lilly? Sure, he didn't want another Elisa. He'd loved and been hurt by love once, and he'd be damned if he let it happen again. But he'd also been happy with Elisa, and hadn't there been a time when he would have given anything to have that type of happiness again? And here it was, a chance staring him straight in the face. He only had to man up and grab it.

He had something special with Lilly, didn't he? Some sort of connection, something that made them such good partners and something that let them finish each other's sentences in the interview rooms. It wasn't what he'd had with Elisa. That had been childhood love, something for younger, purer souls. He was hardier now, older and tougher and a little rougher around the edges from dealing with whatever life had thrown at him. But what he felt for Lilly felt just as powerful, if not more so. So was he being a fool? Was he being selfish and stupid for throwing away something others would probably kill for?

Or should he just leave now, cut his losses before he got hurt?

With a quiet sigh, Scotty shook his head. There was no way he was leaving Lilly of his own free will, and he probably wouldn't under orders either. Probably the best he could do now was to stick with her through thick and thin, and maybe one day if she wanted more…well, by God, he'd give it to her. But until then, well, he'd have to be content with loving her silently from the side for as long as she let him.

* * *

**Let me know what you thought of the chapter :) **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for everyone who's reading along faithfully and reviewing :) I'm feeling pretty upbeat right now because I just wrote the chapter where Lilly and Scotty reach their limits and can't hold it in anymore... **

**This chapter - not much action, but Lilly _does_ get her epiphany moment.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. **

* * *

TEN

Brushing a tired hand across her face, Lilly resisted the urge to yawn as she strode up the walkway to Ramiro's door. After Miller and Vera had filled her in about what Tucker had said, she'd been sent to talk to Pamela to see what she had to say about the affair. Stillman had told her to take Scotty with her, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to call him. They were still on awkward terms about what had happened yesterday, and she wanted to avoid him as much as possible at the moment.

Stifling a yawn, Lilly knocked on the door, hoping most of the relatives were out. Even though she wasn't as nervous as she had been when she'd first met them, she still didn't want to deal with a horde of relatives, especially without Scotty there to intervene if something went horribly wrong.

To her surprise, though, it was Scotty who answered the door. He seemed just as surprised to see her, and for a moment, they just stared at each other.

Finally, Scotty said, his eyes on hers, "You didn't sleep well last night?"

Startled by the sudden topic, Lilly answered, "I'm fine."

Scotty snorted. "You look like hell. What are you doin' here?"

"Questions to ask Pam," she explained, holding up her notebook. "Is she here?"

Scotty nodded. "Yeah, around the back where all the kids are playin' some soccer. Come on."

Silently, she followed him into the house past the living room, where some of the adults were gathered, and out the back door to the yard. There were about a dozen kids yelling and laughing as they played soccer while a group of others sat in the shade. Lilly spotted Pam and a few other women sitting under a gazebo that had been cleared of snow.

"Big backyard," Lilly remarked, eyeing all the open space.

"Yeah, lots of space to play," Scotty replied, his eyes lighting up fondly. Just for a moment, Lilly imagined Scotty as a boy, tumbling in the grass and shrieking with laughter, and she smiled slightly.

"There's Pam," Scotty said, nodding at the gazebo.

"Let me talk to her alone."

He shot her a surprised look. "What?"

Lilly sighed, remembering how badly Scotty had reacted all the times they'd mentioned the possibility of Pam's unfaithfulness. She concluded it would probably be best if he wasn't included in the interview.

"Let me just talk to her alone first, okay?" Lilly asked. He gave her a confused look but nodded.

Lilly went up the steps of the gazebo and nodded a greeting. "Hi, Detective Lilly Rush. Can I talk to Pam alone please?"

The other women nodded and smiled, and Lilly gave them a grateful smile as they passed.

When they were alone, Pam asked wearily, "What is this about, Detective?"

Lilly took a seat on the bench that circled the gazebo. "Tucker Quincy," she said, her voice hard. "Talk to me about him."

Pam sighed, passing a hand over her eyes. "I already talked about this to those other detectives, Rizzo and White."

"Now I'm asking the questions," Lilly said, trying to muster up some sympathy but unable to. "Listen, Pam, I don't like being lied to. Why didn't you tell us about the affair?"

"Shh!" Pam hissed, sending a wary look in the direction of the other women, who were clustered just out of earshot.

Lilly raised an eyebrow. "You haven't told them?"

"I haven't told them because it isn't true!" Pam said hotly. "What—what would this do to Enrique?"

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you stepped out with Tucker," Lilly said before she could bite the words back. She winced at the callousness in her tone, but she was too tired to care much. She just wanted to get to the bottom of this, solve the case, and go home so she could maybe catch up on all the sleep she'd lost.

"I didn't!" Pam repeated. "I'm telling you the truth here, Detective! I _never_ cheated on Enrique with Tucker. I never cheated on Enrique period! I love my husband too much for that."

Lilly eyed her skeptically. "That's not what Tucker says."

Pam sighed impatiently. "I don't know what's gotten into that man, spreading lies like that. We were never together. I'm nice to him, that's all. I invited him over for Christmas, but it wasn't because he and I are together or anything. He's just a family friend."

"Really," Lilly said unbelievingly. "And you never got any hint that he wanted something more?"

Pam shrugged uncomfortably. "Sometimes—sometimes he was a little much, but it was never more than teasing. At least, that's what I thought. I never thought he'd get attached to me and start spreading lies about some stupid affair that we never had!"

Lilly had trouble believing Enrique's wife as she sat there, looking confused and miserable. She sure put on a good act, but they had Tucker's word that he and Pam had been involved romantically. Of course, Lilly hadn't expected Pam to come right out and admit it, but since they already had proof, where was the point in denying it?

"We have Tucker's word against yours," Lilly said wearily. "Can you tell me any reason why he would lie?"

Pam shook her head slowly. "I don't know. He wants the attention?"

"Exactly," Lilly answered. "He doesn't have any reason to lie about an affair with you. In fact, it would probably be better if he'd said he _wasn't_ involved with you. But you, on the other hand—I can think of a dozen reasons why you would want to lie. The jury's more likely to believe the man who has nothing to gain by lying than the woman who has everything to lose if her affair comes to light, if you know what I'm saying."

Pam stood and shook her head in obvious frustration. "I'm _not_ lying!"

Lilly stood too, growing impatient. "Then tell me the truth, Pam. There isn't a reason to lie about the affair anymore, we already know about it. Just give me details."

"There are none!" Pam cried, her eyes flashing angrily. "There _is_ no affair. I don't know what the bastard Tucker's doing, talking about us like we're involved, but we're _not!_ How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Until I believe it," Lilly replied calmly, but as she watched Pam's eyes, she saw nothing but anger and resentment. There was none of the guilt that would have been there if Pam had been lying. But she couldn't be telling the truth, could she? She had everything to lose by Tucker's word, so of course she was lying. But Tucker had had nothing to gain in revealing the affair; in fact, he'd become one of the prime suspects in the shooting. So Pam _had_ to be lying.

But then why did everything she said ring true?

"I don't have to stay here and listen to this," Pam snapped, her fists clenched. Shooting Lilly a final glare, she stalked off the gazebo past the group of women and disappeared into the house.

With a sigh, Lilly decided not to follow her. She'd asked the question she'd wanted to, but she hadn't quite gotten the response she'd hoped for. If only Pam admitted to having an affair, this case could be closed up quickly and efficiently. The affair would have given Tucker enough motive to shoot Enrique, probably to clear the playing field. Tucker's alibi, one girlfriend, was weak anyway, so they could probably nail him for the shooting. But Pam hadn't confessed to the affair, which made pinning the crime on Tucker a bit more difficult.

Lilly sighed, turning the facts of the case over in her head. It all seemed to fit perfectly, but a few stray thoughts nagged at her. Why would Tucker confess to the affair in the first place? He'd done so knowing that it would make him a prime suspect. True, Vera and Miller probably hadn't given him much choice in the matter, so maybe that wasn't such a mystery. The bigger mystery was why Pam seemed so…so…

Innocent. She seemed to genuinely love Enrique to the point of complete faithfulness, and whenever she'd protested the rumors of affair, she'd sounded rightfully indignant, nothing else. She hadn't acted guilty at all, and she hadn't given off any indication that she was hiding anything. Lilly had years under her belt as a detective, and she knew an innocent person when she saw one. But it didn't help the case.

With a sigh, she moved toward the steps of the gazebo, only to step back in surprise when she saw Scotty on the bottom step, coming up.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied distractedly.

He paused on the steps, leaning on the rails. "So you got what you need?"

Lilly sighed. "Kind of. It's a bit complicated right now."

"What've you got?" Scotty asked.

Lilly hesitated. She should be straight with him, she knew. But if her instincts were right and this affair thing turned up a dead end, she didn't want to get him all riled up for nothing. So she smiled and said, "It's nothing yet. I'll let you know when we have something real."

He frowned and stared at her, obviously trying to figure her out. Lilly could tell from his frustrated sigh that her expression was unreadable, and she forced a smile for his benefit.

"I think I'll head back to the station," Lilly told him, tucking away her notebook. "I'll see if Vera and Miller have got anything new. Boss is digging too."

She made to move past him, but he stopped her on the stairs. "Hang on, Lil."

She glanced at him. "What?"

Suddenly looking uncharacteristically shy, Scotty said hesitantly, "You okay?"

She wondered why he asked. He knew what she'd say anyway, didn't he? "I'm fine."

He shook his head, obviously frustrated. "Yeah, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine," she said automatically before realizing that he could obviously tell she was lying. The dark circles under her eyes she'd tried unsuccessfully to conceal and the way she kept having to stifle her yawns were testament enough to that. With a sigh, she admitted, "Not that fine. But I'm okay."

He still barred her way, and a conflict of emotions warred over his face. For a long moment, he looked like he wanted to tell her something. His eyes caught hers, and for a second, she found it difficult to breathe. _God, he has beautiful eyes. _

Lilly cleared her throat and looked away before her thoughts could run away with her. "I—I'm going to head off," she stammered, pushing past him. This time, he let her past, but within seconds, she could hear him following her.

When they reached her car, he grabbed her hand before she could open the driver's door. "Let me drive, Lil."

"What?"

He gave her a once-over and grinned. "It probably ain't healthy for you to be drivin' lookin' like that. You'd get pulled over."

For a moment, she wanted to protest. _I don't need any protector. Especially not Scotty, who isn't looking too hot either._ But by the way she was yawning and half a second from passing out, she was probably worse off than he was.

Silently, she handed over the keys and got into the passenger seat. He started up the car and pulled out of the driveway, and by the time he got onto the road, she had leaned her head on the window and dozed off.

* * *

When she opened her eyes again, she was staring at a familiar ceiling. Her ceiling. The one in her living room.

Confused, Lilly sat upright quickly, glancing around. Yep, she was definitely back at her house, but how? The last thing she remembered was dozing off as Scotty drove them back to the precinct. Had he taken her home? Why? What time was it?

"You're awake."

Lilly turned and found Scotty standing at the end of the couch, a mug of steaming coffee in his hand. He'd been sipping it, but he stopped when he saw that she'd sat up.

"Why are we here?" she asked, glancing at the windows. It looked almost dark outside…how long had she been asleep?

Scotty shrugged. "We got to the precinct and I couldn't wake you up. Boss told me to take you home."

She'd slept through the whole day? Trying to clear her mind of the last vestiges of sleep, she glanced at the door. "I locked that."

"Key was in your pocket," Scotty explained. "I put you on the couch. You've been asleep for a few hours."

"That long? What about the case?"

Scotty shrugged. "Rizzo and his moron of a partner ain't too keen on lettin' us continue our investigation. Boss's busy sortin' it out."

"Oh." Lilly sighed and rubbed her forehead tiredly, just then feeling the headache that was pounding between her eyes.

Scotty eyed her in concern. "You okay?"

She bit back the automatic 'I'm fine.' Instead, she asked quietly, "Could you get me some water?"

"Sure." He left the couch, and she heard him padding around her kitchen for a few moments before he returned with a glass. She took it gratefully and took a long swallow. It didn't help the headache.

"Maybe you should get some more rest," Scotty suggested, sipping from his coffee again. "You ain't lookin' too hot."

"You don't look so good either," Lilly returned, eyeing his rumpled suit and haggard expression. "The case…it's doing a number on you, isn't it?"

He eyed her a little strangely, and there was a look in his eyes she couldn't quite decipher. "Yeah, it's bad. But it ain't all the case. Other things on my mind too."

They sat in silence for a moment before Scotty cleared his throat. "It's gettin' late. I should be goin' soon."

Leave? Leave her to the descending darkness? Did he know that the only reason she hadn't slept with the light on the night before was because he had been in the living room and she hadn't wanted to show him just how insecure she was?

"Don't go. It's only…" Lilly searched the room and eventually found the clock sitting in front of her TV. "…eight-thirty."

Scotty shook his head. "Lil, I haven't showered or changed my clothes in almost two days."

Oh, right. Because he'd been forced to take her home the night before. Lilly shot him a guilty look and said, "Right. It's no problem. I'll lock the door behind you."

She stood up, ignoring her increasing headache, and walked him to the door, pausing as he collected his coat. She opened the door and forced a tired smile at him to show him that she was fine. Judging by the expression on his face, he obviously didn't believe her.

He turned on the threshold of her door before she could shut it completely. "Lil, you need anythin', call me, okay?"

Her smile felt a bit more genuine this time. "Yeah, I know." For a moment, she searched for the words to tell him how much she appreciated all he'd done for her the past few days. But she couldn't find any, so she settled on a quick, "Thanks." It seemed painfully inadequate.

He nodded briefly and turned off down the sidewalk. She shut the door and stumbled off to find some aspirin. By the time she'd downed the medicine, the cats were crying for food, so she fumbled with the can opener in the kitchen for a few moments, her mind fuzzy from lack of sleep. When the cats were sated, she went to the bedroom and collapsed in the bed, exhaustion weighing her down into much-needed sleep.

* * *

It wasn't even two hours later when she awoke with a gasp, her clothes damp with sweat and the blankets twisted around her legs. The darkness was stifling, and with her fingers shaking, she switched on the bedside lamp. It still wasn't enough, so she stumbled around the house, flicking on all the lights. Then she went and downed a cup of water to steady herself. The cats wound between her legs, meowing their disapproval at her odd hours.

She let out a shuddering sigh as she gripped the counter. The headache was back in full-force, and every time she shut her eyes too long, the dark street where she'd been attacked flashed in her mind's eye.

It was clear she wasn't getting anymore sleep any time soon. With a sigh, Lilly searched for her case files, which she found on the coffee tables. A little smile tugged at her lips at Scotty's thoughtfulness of bringing them in from her car. She sat heavily on the couch and tried to immerse herself into the case.

Ronald Elliot, Tucker Quincy, Pamela Valens…

The clearest suspect would be Tucker, but as of yet, they hadn't broken his alibi. The girl he'd been with—Amber Sweeting—hadn't budged on her story that they'd been together the whole night. But wait…that meant Tucker was two-timing, wasn't he? So much for having something special with Pamela Valens. Maybe this Amber had found out, gotten jealous about Pam? But then why shoot Enrique instead of Pam? And Amber had been with Tucker that night…Lilly decided to hunt down Tucker in the morning to get some answers.

They just couldn't catch a break, could they? This case seemed to go on forever, and with Christmas in a couple of days…

Christmas. Another one alone. Lilly sighed, too tired to feel depressed at the thought, and set aside the case files, rubbing her eyes. She wondered briefly where Christina was and who she was spending Christmas with. Maybe a new boyfriend? Some of her pals? Lilly decided she was probably better off not knowing.

Lilly turned one of the pages and stopped on the next one. This piece of paper was scrawled here and there with notes in Scotty's messy but still legible handwriting. He'd taken short, sometimes humorous notes. Lilly found herself smiling faintly where he'd scribbled down a complaint about Vera's handwriting, followed by _what the hell is this? _and an arrow pointing at a sample of the handwriting in question.

Scotty. Was it her imagination or was he being nicer to her than usual? More concerned, more considerate? He'd been looking at her strangely too, his eyes intense and somehow soft all at once. Just when she thought she could get over the thought of him, he had to go and remind her just how much of a good man he was. Probably the best man she'd ever known.

Lilly sighed and closed her eyes, wishing for just a moment that she could throw everything away—all the rules, all her fears, everything holding her back—and have Scotty hold her so she could feel safe and warm and wanted. Her attraction to him wasn't because she hadn't had any male company in a long times, she realized. It wasn't because of her hormones and it wasn't because she was just latching on to any man in sight. It was because of Scotty himself, because she couldn't get his face out of her thoughts even when she was with someone else. It was because she couldn't hold his gaze anymore without flushing. It was because she couldn't look at his lips without remembering how they'd felt.

It was because she had feelings—_real_ feelings—for her partner.

The realization didn't scare her nearly as badly as she'd expected. Once, she might have gone into hysterics over letting herself have feelings for Scotty. But she realized that there hadn't been much she could have done; one day, he'd been her partner, and the next time she'd looked, he'd been…more. Somehow, inexplicably. Maybe she'd known it deep inside a long time ago. She just had to come to terms with it.

Her rational side was too tired at the moment to make an appearance, so she imagined what it would be like to be with him. To have him holding her after a long, hard day. To have him whispering assurances to her after a nightmare. To have him with her for Christmas so that she would finally have more than an empty home and her cats to celebrate with.

Logic intruded, and she wearily remembered why all of that was impossible. They were partners (damn it, she thought privately), and he'd slept with her sister, and she was too insecure and she'd been hurt too many times to try something serious again. _Don't you remember? _her mind sneered. _Don't you remember Patrick and Ray and Kite and Joseph? Don't you remember how it hurt?_

She didn't need a reminder of how it had hurt. She'd built her walls high so she wouldn't _have_ to remember. Besides, Stillman would throw a fit, and Vera would have a field day, and the headache wasn't worth it.

With a sigh, Lilly reached for the TV remote. The house was too quiet, and she found it unnerving. Aimlessly, she flipped through a few channels before settling on a random channel. Closing her eyes, she let the words wash over her.

The phone rang. Sluggishly, Lilly reached for it and said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Lilly!"

Lilly sat up in surprise. "Christina?"

"What, it's been so long that you don't recognize my voice?"

"No. But it _is_ kind of late."

"Come on, Lil, it's only eleven thirty."

Lilly sighed. "What do you want?"

"Is that really how you'd greet your sister?"

She sounded almost hurt, but Lilly had know her too long to fall for that trick. "Yeah, that's basically how I treat my sister who did a number on my partner and ran off. It's late," she said harshly, "and I'm tired. What do you want?"

"It's almost Christmas. I was just wondering what you were doing."

_Funny_, Lilly thought. _I was just wondering the same thing. _Aloud, she said, "Nothing. As usual."

"That's too bad. You should join me. I'm in Philly."

"That's news," Lilly said, sitting up straighter. "What are you doing here?"

"Having some fun," Christina said enigmatically.

"It'd better not be something illegal," Lilly warned. She thought of having to bail her sister out of jail on Christmas and felt her headache increase.

"Oh, come on, Lil, lighten up! Want to come down for some fun?"

"No," she said automatically. Whatever fun Chris was wrapped up in, Lilly knew she didn't want any part of it. "I have a case to finish up. My boss wants be to finish it up soon, and Scotty wants it done with too."

She heard Chris sigh heavily. "Everyone wants you to do something. Your boss wants this, your partner wants that…when was the last time you did something _you_ wanted?"

Lilly opened her mouth irritably to reply and found that she had no answer. When _was_ the last time she'd done something because she'd wanted to? It had always been the job, the job, the job, and what everyone else wanted from her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd just let go and had fun. The thought startled her.

"I'm tired," she said eventually. "Let's talk later, okay?"

"Okay." Chris didn't sound very reluctant to hang up, and Lilly set the phone down when she heard the hum of the dial tone. Closing her eyes, she leaned back into the couch, reaching out blindly to pet one of the cats as she brushed up against her.

When _was_ the last time she'd done something she'd wanted to do? She remembered vaguely as a child, making up impossible lists of things she'd do when she was all grown up. How many of those things had she accomplished in the end? Probably next to none. It had been a long, long time since she'd thought of life beyond the job and the squad.

She tried to think back. What was the last thing she'd wanted?

Scotty. The name popped into her head, unbidden and unwanted. But instead of pushing it away, she held the name in her head for a moment, considering. Would it really hurt to throw caution to the wind and for once do something she wanted? Sure, she could be stung in the end, and maybe it would all end in heartbreak, but she already knew Scotty was a good man. She already knew that whatever happened, the last thing he would do would be to hurt her. So maybe her fears were unwarranted in this case. And the grief from Boss and the job…one of them could always transfer, right? Maybe out of Homicide even, but it wouldn't be too bad. It was just a job.

Lilly winced. The job was all she'd known for years, her life. It would hurt to give it up, even for Scotty. Was he worth it? She didn't know. Was she willing to do it? Again, she didn't know. But she _did_ know that it had been a long, long time since she'd done something that made her happy. And it was time to change that.

So maybe—just maybe—the next time Scotty gave her one of those looks, she'd send one back. Maybe if he asked her if she was okay, she would for once tell him the truth. And just maybe, the next time they ended up under a bunch of mistletoe and he kissed her, she'd have the courage kiss him back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. For anyone who was worrying about Chris getting in between Lilly and Scotty (which was everyone, apparently), don't worry about that. Chris was merely a device to push Lilly in the right direction. I'm pretty sure she won't show up again. **

**In this chapter, there's a little more of the case and then Lilly/Scotty fluff. **

**Disclaimer: Please refer to the previous ten chapters in case you haven't realized that I don't own anything. **

* * *

ELEVEN

Lilly didn't look any better that morning. That was first thing Scotty noticed when he walked into the bullpen with two cups of coffee. She still had rings under her eyes so dark she almost looked like a raccoon, and the slightly hazy look in her eyes couldn't be good. But the fact that she'd made it to the precinct earlier than him was good, right? At least she'd been able to get out of bed—assuming she'd ever gotten in it.

"Hey, Lil," he said, trying to sound cheerful.

Lilly glanced up from the paperwork she was perusing. "Oh, hey, Scotty."

He was relieved to hear her voice; at least she sounded normal. But the slightly clouded look of her eyes worried him. "You feelin' okay?" he asked.

"I'm—" She cut herself off and managed a faint smile. "A little headache, that's all. Took some medicine this morning."

He felt a shiver of excitement. She'd caught herself. She'd almost fed him her 'yes, I'm perfectly fine even though I look like I went through a wood chipper' line, but she'd admitted something. Did that mean she was opening up?

"Coffee?" he said, feeling lighter than he had in days. He offered her the second cup of coffee, and she took it with a grin.

"What's the occasion?"

Scotty shrugged. "I need an occasion to pamper my partner?" He threw in a cheeky grin for good effect, feeling bolder when she smiled.

"How about your other co-workers?" Vera groused from across his desk. He glared at Scotty over the top of the file he was holding. Miller, at her desk, was shooting him a similar don't-you-dare-tell-me-you're-empty-handed look.

Scotty grinned and hung his coat on the back of his chair. "Nope, sorry. Definitely need an occasion for that." He glanced over and was gratified to see Lilly smiling as she sipped her coffee.

"What's with the long faces?" Stillman asked as he entered the bullpen.

"_Besides_ the rest of our problems?" Miller asked. "Valens here went to the coffee shop this morning and forgot three coffees."

"Completely slipped my mind," Scotty agreed innocently, grinning as Vera and Miller turned to glare at him. Chuckling quietly, he turned to lean over his desk and look over the files he'd left the night before.

"We find anything new?" Vera asked.

"Besides the affair?" Miller replied. "No, nothing else."

Scotty clenched his jaw at the mention of the affair, his mood souring abruptly. He'd never have believed it of Pamela, but the truth was evident in this Quincy guy's testimony. Think of it! A woman he thought he'd known, a woman he'd been friends with, had betrayed his cousin, all without Scotty suspecting a thing! He'd thought he was a better detective than that. He was _sure_ he would have seen signs, seen _something._ But he hadn't been sharp enough to see this.

With a long, frustrated sigh, he flipped a couple of pages aimlessly, scanning information he'd gone over a hundred times before.

A couple of minutes later, he heard the tapping of a pencil and glanced up in irritation. It was Lilly, to his surprise, and he almost opened his mouth to ask her testily to stop, but the look on her face stopped him. It was a look of complete concentration, the look she got when she was onto something. Feeling a thrill of excitement, Scotty leaned forward in his chair and watched her across his desk. She flipped a couple of pages, still with that look in her narrowed eyes, and scribbled down a couple of notes.

Unable to help himself, he asked, "Got somethin'?"

Lilly wrote something down and grinned up at him. It seemed to take a weight off her face, and for a moment, she looked healthy again. He felt a rush of relief at the sight.

"Come on," she said, standing and closing the file. "Let's go see if we can break an alibi."

* * *

"You look like hell," Scotty commented as they walked up the steps of the apartment building.

Lilly gave him a weary smile. "Don't need to be reminded."

"It's Christmas Eve," he said, his breath puffing out in white clouds in the cold air. "No matter if this case is solved or not, I ain't lettin' anyone work tonight or tomorrow."

Lilly was too tired to argue with him, and she was actually somewhat relieved. Another day to rest and catch up on the sleep she'd been steadily losing practically since the week had started.

"What are we doin' here again?" Scotty asked, raising his fist to pound on the door.

"If Tucker is truly in love with Pam," Lilly explained, "why would he be two-timing her? So either he's lying or this Amber Sweeting is. Let's see if we can get her to confess."

"So we can break his alibi to pieces," Scotty finished. "Sounds good." Except the 'in love with Pam' part. He still couldn't reconcile himself to the thought.

The door cracked open slightly to reveal half of a young woman's face, her expression hard and suspicious. "Who're you?"

Scotty flashed his badge. "Detectives Valens and Rush, Philly Homicide."

"Nobody's been killed here," Amber said curtly. She made to shut the door, but Scotty grabbed the edge with gloved fingers.

"Hang on," he said. "It's about a shootin', Enrique Valens."

Her expression changed to one of weariness. "Been talked to about this before. Don't know why I need to again."

"Let's put it this way," Scotty said pleasantly. "We talk to you here, or we bring you down to the station and chat there. Which is it gonna be?"

A moment passed. Then, with an exaggerated sigh, Amber swung the door wide and let them inside. The apartment was dimly lit but clean enough. Lilly raised an eyebrow when she spotted a toy car in the hallway.

"You have a child?" Lilly asked in surprise, wondering why it had never come up.

Amber nodded. "Two-year-old. Pain in the ass. But cute."

She led them into the main room, which sported an armchair and what must have been the smallest couch Lilly had ever seen. She and Scotty somehow managed to squeeze onto the couch as Amber took the armchair. Lilly shifted as she felt Scotty's knee press against hers, but there wasn't much room to move around. So she just let their legs and elbows touch and focused on the notebook in front of her instead.

"Amber, could you explain to us exactly what happened on the night of December 18?" Lilly asked.

She sighed and crossed her arms. "Haven't I already answered this a billion times?"

"We're the ones askin' the questions," Scotty told her. "Answer the question."

"Look, I went to see Tucker at work, okay? We hung out a bit at the garage and then we went back to his apartment and stayed there. The end. That enough for you?"

"How long have you been involved with Tucker?" Lilly asked.

Amber shrugged. "I dunno. A month maybe?"

"And could you explain to me this?" Lilly handed her a sheet of paper from her file.

"What's this?" Amber asked warily.

"Financial report. It says you recently deposited three hundred dollars into your account." Lilly leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. "But you don't get your paycheck 'til after Christmas, do you? I checked that. So where did you get three hundred dollars, Amber?"

"Who cares where I got it?" she retorted, and Lilly saw instantly how defensive she'd gotten. The woman was hiding something, and it sent a triumphant thrill through Lilly.

"We care," Scotty said, not knowing quite where Lilly was going with this, but trusting her all the same. "So tell us, Amber. Did the money just fall outta the sky?"

Amber glared at them in sullen silence, obviously determined not to answer, so Lilly continued, unruffled. "Also, there's the matter of your visit to the hospital, totaling about three thousand dollars. That's quite a sum, Amber."

"Three hundred dollars fall outta the sky?" Scotty asked. "Yeah, okay. I ain't gonna believe it, but okay. But three _thousand_ dollars? Now we got a problem, Amber."

"Where'd the money come from?" Lilly pressed her, catching the other woman's eyes. Amber hesitated, and her eyes darted to the left. Lilly followed her gaze to a room to Amber's left, where the door was cracked open slightly. Through the door, Lilly could see a little boy standing in the doorway, his expression curious as he twisted a blanket through his legs.

She was worried about her son, huh? Then Lilly would hit her where it hurt.

"Listen, Amber," she began gravely, "this money is a serious matter. We need to know where it came from. For all we know, you obtained it illegally. Was it drug money? Prostitution? Stolen money? We could take you in for all these things, Amber, and it won't look pretty. Think about it: jail time, maybe serious jail time. You could be in for years. And your son—well, he'd have to go into the foster care system. Shuffled around from house to house for the rest of his childhood, never knowing his mother…but who knows? Maybe by the time you get out, he'll have been lucky enough to get adopted. Get into a good family. Maybe he'll forget all about his mother who went to jail because she came into some money mysteriously and wouldn't cooperate with the cops."

Amber's resolve crumbled visibly, and she shot a shaky glare at Lilly. "You are a cruel woman, Detective."

_When I need to be,_ Lilly thought, putting her pen to paper. To Amber, she said more gently, "Do you have something to tell us, Amber?"

The woman sighed heavily. "He made me _swear_ not to tell."

"Who?" Scotty asked, leaning forward.

"I—I can't…"

"It was Tucker Quincy, wasn't it?" Lilly said, more of a statement than a question. By the way Amber's head jerked up and her eyes went wide, Lilly had hit the nail on the head.

"How—how did you guess?"

Lilly smiled. "It was easy. The other detectives didn't bother to look into your financials, did they? But if they did, they would have found that between your doctor visit, your deposit, and the payment of your apartment—which you paid early this month—you used up about five thousand dollars. Which is the exact amount Enrique Valens told us he loaned to Tucker."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lilly saw Scotty shoot her a look of admiration and a grin, which made her feel pretty proud of herself, even if the discovery was minor and hadn't taken much detective-work at all.

Amber sighed again, the defiance in her eyes melting. "Yeah, it was Quincy."

"Tell us what happened," Scotty prompted.

Haltingly, she told them about how a month before, she'd been approached by Tucker when she'd brought her car in for a tune-up. They'd hit it off and gone out on a couple of dates. Then about a couple of weeks prior to the shooting, Tucker had offered her a thousand dollars in return for her cooperation on whatever he asked of her. When she'd scoffed him off, he'd upped the offer to five thousand. Desperate for money as a single mother, Amber had agreed. He hadn't asked anything of her for the next few days, but one day, he'd come to her and told her to alibi him to the police on the night Enrique had been shot. Amber tearfully added that all she had done, she had done for her son.

After scribbling down quick notes, Lilly flipped her notepad shut, feeling a thrill of excitement. Finally it seemed like they were getting somewhere with the investigation.

Thanking Amber for the information, Scotty and Lilly left the apartment complex, both of them in lighter moods than they'd had all week.

* * *

"If that ain't clear indication this Tucker guy's the one," Scotty said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, "I don't know what would be."

"His alibi's gone to pieces with Amber's confession," Lilly agreed.

Scotty glanced over at her briefly. "You know we have to pick her up."

Lilly nodded with a sigh. "I know. Obstructing the investigation."

Scotty could see and hear her reluctance. He'd always known she had a soft spot for kids, and it was probably hitting her hard, seeing a woman willing to go to these lengths for her son, only to be arrested for it.

Well, they didn't have to do it. "I'll let Miller and Vera know," he said instead, and was gratified when Lilly shot him a small, grateful look.

"Think we can arrest Tucker now?" Lilly asked, leaning her head against the window.

"He's definitely suspicious. First the…affair…business makes him our number one suspect, and then gettin' someone to lie for his alibi? Yeah, I think he's goin' down. So let's go get him. Was it a left turn or a right one to the garage?"

Lilly grinned. "I wanna arrest him just as much as you do. But we can't."

He shot her a confused look. "What?"

"No authority," she reminded him. "Remember? We gotta call it in, let Boss handle it."

Damn, he'd forgotten. Scotty groaned. "I hate not havin' our own case."

"Drop out of Homicide, then," Lilly teased.

He looked over and caught her eyes. "Never. I got too many things I'm attached to here." Not the least of which was his amazing partner. He wondered when he'd work up the courage to tell her that.

As Lilly called Stillman to update him on what they'd found, Scotty drove them back to the precinct. They idled in the parking lot as Lilly finished up her call.

"Well?" Scotty asked, as soon as she'd hung up.

"Boss is handling it," Lilly replied. "Sounds like White and Rizzo are on their way to make an arrest."

Wonderful. Scotty just wished he could have done it himself.

"So what do we do now?" Scotty asked her.

Lilly shrugged. "We can hang around in the bullpen. Miller and Vera have headed out to pick up Amber Sweeting so it'll be quiet."

"Wanna get lunch?" he asked, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Now that he thought about it, he was starving. When had he eaten breakfast? _Had_ he eaten breakfast? No, he hadn't. He'd been too busy getting to the precinct on time so he could figure out how Lilly was doing.

When Lilly didn't answer, he turned to her, only to find a complete deer-in-headlights look spreading across her face. Hastily, he backtracked, wondering what the hell he'd said to spook her like that. _Lunch…lunch…_

He groaned inwardly as he remembered their last lunch together. Cheese steaks, mistletoe, and that awful (amazing) kiss. No wonder she looked like she was about to throw the door open and run all the way home.

"N—never mind," he stammered hurriedly. "Bad idea. Let's go to the bullpen."

He watched the shocked look on her face disappear slowly, and he could tell she was forcing it away with difficulty. "Nah, it's probably boring up there," she said, her voice carefully neutral. "It's Christmas Eve."

He raised an eyebrow, confused. "And that's relevant because…?"

She took a breath. Then another. He was suddenly struck with the feeling that she was going to tell him something, maybe reveal something, so he'd better open his ears, shut up, and listen hard.

"Christmas," she said slowly, looking out the window. "Christmas at my house when I was little wasn't anything big. In fact, it wasn't anything at all. It was just…cold. I saw the other kids, the ones from school. I saw how they had trees and lights and presents." She laughed softly, with a tinge of bitterness. "I thought it was normal, you know? To wake up on Christmas morning and go around like it was nothing special. I didn't see what the big deal was. But this one time, this kid from school invited me over to his house." She smiled at the memory, her eyes far away. "Big house. It was huge, to me at least. He had this tree—this big, huge tree, must have been nine feet tall. We got to help decorate it. It was a lot of fun. And I got to put the star up on top."

She smiled faintly at the thought. "His dad lifted me up and I put it on top and I saw, you know? I _saw_."

She went quiet for a moment so Scotty hesitantly asked, "Saw what?"

"What the fuss about Christmas was all about," she said softly, still looking off into the distance. He wished she'd look at him instead, but that would probably make it harder for her, and she was already doing enough.

"I saw what I'd been missing all that time," she continued. "He had presents—that kid had a lot of presents. I went home and I asked my mom how come we didn't do that on Christmas, how come we didn't get a tree or presents like that."

Lilly hesitated, and she fell silent. Scotty found that he could guess at what had happened.

"She didn't take it well?" he said.

Lilly smiled one of her fake-smiles that he hated. "Yeah, you could say that." She sighed, and then visibly collected herself. "Anyway, there was a point to that. Since we aren't doing anything today…well, my house is kind of empty…I mean, no stockings or anything remotely in the spirit of Christmas…so if you want, we could maybe buy something…" With a sigh, she trailed off awkwardly, avoiding his gaze.

Scotty pieced together enough of her fragments to realize with a sense of dazed shock that she wanted him to help her decorate her house. She wanted _him_ to help her _shop_ and _decorate_ her house for holiday cheer. For a moment, he could only sit there in astonishment. This…step, whatever they were doing, was huge. It was simply enormous, so big he could barely wrap his mind around it.

It hit him like a truck, suddenly: this—this was it. This was her way of letting him in, something he'd dreamed about on and off practically since he'd met her. How many times had he silently begged her to let him help, to let him do _anything?_ Here she was, at last, extending her hand to him.

For another long moment, he could only stare at her in shock. She snuck a look at him and completely misinterpreted his expression.

"Never mind," she said hastily. "Stupid idea. Forget it. I'm going to get something to eat." She fumbled with the lock on the door.

She was running. The realization launched him into action.

"Wait!" He grabbed her arm. "Wait, Lil, I…sorry, I was just a little surprised. Sure, let's go."

"Go?" she repeated blankly.

"Shoppin'," he answered. "You know, for trees or lights or whatever. For your house."

Lilly was flushing a bright red color, and it was the most adorable color he'd ever seen. Chuckling, he turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking lot, turning into the street.

"So where d'you wanna start?" he asked conversationally.

She was still blushing hard and remained silent. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so embarrassed.

He suddenly needed to let her know how much he appreciated what she'd given him.

"Hey," he said softly, hoping she could hear how serious he was. "I know that was hard for you…openin' up like that. You got all these walls 'round you all the time, and they've been there for a long time, I can tell. So, I don't know what it took you to tell me all that, and I ain't ever gonna know, probably, but…thanks."

It seemed to be what she needed to hear. Turning back toward him slightly so he could at least see part of her face, she smiled at him. "Thanks."

"Yeah," he said. He sensed she was uncomfortable with talking about it so he said lightly, "What store d'you wanna hit?"

Lilly shrugged. "What store do you think? I don't shop for these things everyday."

"I don't see you shoppin' at all," Scotty told her, laughing when she nodded in agreement.

"I can't even remember the last time I went to the supermarket for food," Lilly admitted, grinning.

Scotty groaned. "That explains the state of your fridge. It's a friggin' wasteland in there. What the hell do you eat anyway?"

Lilly grinned. "Takeout. Pizza's good. Sometimes Chinese."

Scotty laughed. "Unhealthy! I'm gonna cook for you sometime, show you what is and ain't real food."

"Already cooked pancakes for me," Lilly reminded him with a bright smile.

Scotty grinned back. "Real enough for you?"

"Delicious," she returned with a smile, and Scotty wondered incredulously if she was _flirting_ with him.

_Ridiculous,_ he thought, shaking his head. Lilly Rush flirting with him? He clearly hadn't gotten enough sleep.

But…what if she was? What if she was giving him a sign that she wanted…more? After all, hadn't she opened up to him, of all people? The thought sent a thrill of excitement through him.

"Tomorrow?" he asked suddenly. "Let me cook breakfast for you on Christmas."

She looked at him in surprise. "But it's Christmas. Don't you have to spend it with your family?"

He shrugged. "Not all day. Let me come over." He put on his lopsided grin that he found to be quite persuasive. When Lilly's cheeks pinked, he realized for the first time with a little surprise that maybe she wasn't immune to it after all. The thought made him absurdly proud.

"Come on," he said, looking at her, "it'll be fun!" God knows they could use some fun now, what with all that had happened since the week had started.

She smiled too after a moment. "Fine. But one condition."

"Name it," he said automatically. What did she need him to do? Leap through a ring of fire? Consider it done.

"Chocolate chips," she said, a little shyly. "I like chocolate chips in my pancakes."

That was all? He chuckled. "Easy. Anythin' else while I'm feelin' charitable?"

"You could stop the car," Lilly said dryly. "We've been circling the mall for a while now."

To his chagrin, she was right. He'd been too distracted by her to notice that he'd been going in circles around the block instead of pulling in to park. Chuckling softly, he found an empty lot and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Big mall," Lilly said, staring up at it. Scotty guessed that she probably hadn't set eyes on it since it had been built.

"It's bigger inside," Scotty said, grinning. "Come on." And then on an impulse, he grabbed her wrist to drag her behind him. He didn't dare try for her hand, but his motion still startled her. Avoiding the urge to assess her expression, Scotty pulled her along like touching her was natural, when it was in fact sending a tingle up his arm. He smiled when she didn't pull away.

Lilly was clearly overwhelmed by the stores, and he couldn't help but laugh at the bewildered expression on her face. For a long moment, she just stood and glanced around at all the places to go, the stalls, and the Christmas decorations that had been draped everywhere throughout the mall.

"Come on," he said, tugging her toward a promising-looking store practically exploding with streamers. It was crowded enough for the store attendants to be too busy to approach them, which was probably for the best. Scotty pulled Lilly along to the shelves cluttered with Christmas ornaments and decorations, wondering the whole way what would catch her eye. Did she like bright colors? More ribbons or fewer? Silly things or more serious things?

He eyed a short, electronic Christmas tree. "You know, it's probably too late to get a real tree, and I don't think you got enough space in your livin' room anyway. Whaddya think?"

Lilly paused and looked at the display. "It's neat. And you're probably right about the living room space." She glanced at the boxes and asked, "What color?"

He shrugged. "It's your tree. Blue?"

"My favorite color," Lilly murmured in consideration.

Scotty started in pleasant surprise. Four years with his partner, and he'd finally learned something about her, something so simple that it shouldn't have made him so absurdly happy. He might have guessed though, since he'd seen her in blue dress shirts more often than he could count.

"Blue's nice," he agreed.

"What's your favorite color?" Lilly asked absently.

Scotty grinned. "What d'you think about green?"

Lilly paused. "Green, huh? I never would've pinned you for a green person."

"What color do you think then?" Scotty asked, curious as to what she thought of him.

She shrugged. "I never see you in anything but suits, so it's kind of hard to guess. Maybe blue. I always thought you looked good in that one blue tie."

She said it completely casually, like she didn't realize what she was saying. But Scotty heard her all too clearly, and he froze, an incredulous, goofy smile on his face. Had she just…did she just _compliment_ him? This day was going bizarrely already, what with him _shopping_ with Lilly, of all things, but _compliments?_ Lilly Rush thought he looked _good?_ He didn't think he'd ever felt more flattered.

Feeling more daring than he probably had a right to, Scotty said softly, "Well, I thought you always looked good in blue too."

Lilly stopped what she was doing and looked at him in surprise. She was clearly flustered, and he smiled to see it. As ever, though, she recovered admirably and smiled back.

"Thanks, I guess." Shaking her head slightly, Lilly skimmed over a couple of shelves of ornaments before settling on a couple.

When they were done with the store, Scotty dared to reach for her again. This time, after a moment of hesitation, his hand slid from her wrist to her hand. She got that startled look in her eyes again as she glanced down at their intertwined fingers, but for some inexplicable reason, she didn't pull away.

Well, he'd be damned if he didn't appreciate it. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't love her more in that moment than ever before.

* * *

**Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for your continued support. I love logging into my email and seeing reviews. **

**This one's short, but I get the feeling you won't mind. All Scotty/Lilly in this one. **

**Disclaimer: None of this is mine. **

* * *

TWELVE

When the doorbell rang the next morning, Lilly found herself still in bed. In amazement, she sat up slowly, stretching. The clock read 8:30. Which meant she'd been in bed—asleep—for nearly nine hours. Nine blessed, unbroken hours.

_Merry Christmas to myself_, she thought wryly, feeling rested for the first time in the whole week. Sunlight filtered through the windows in her bedroom, and Lilly could make out the hint of new snowdrifts that had formed during the night. She had the sudden urge to drink hot cocoa.

_Ding-dong._

Lilly paused, her brow creasing in confusion. She wasn't expecting anyone, was she? It was too early in the morning for any deliveries, and she didn't remember inviting anyone over…

Scotty. Scotty with breakfast.

The memory sent a thrill through her. Scotty had volunteered to make her breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes, her favorite. In sudden excitement, Lilly threw the covers off her bed and scrambled into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. A wide grin on her face, she brushed past the cats in the living room and opened the door.

And there her partner was, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt under his coat, armed with a bright smile and a grocery bag.

"Merry Christmas," he said, his smile widening as he took in her slightly disheveled state. She flushed, realizing that her hair probably wasn't in any sort of order at all and that the pair of jeans she'd chosen had a hole in the knee.

"Just woke up," Lilly explained, embarrassed.

He smiled. "That's good. Thought you didn't sleep at all. You still look like hell."

She hit his shoulder. "I thought you were here to cook breakfast, not insult me."

He grinned and shrugged. "Just statin' facts, Lil."

After taking off his coat, he headed for the kitchen, and Lilly followed him curiously. "What's with the bags?"

"Ingredients. I probably couldn't even make a hot dog with what you've got in your fridge."

Lilly chuckled. "Probably." She leaned against the counter and watched him unpack all his stuff, from flour to sugar to a whole bag of chocolate chips. She smiled at that. _He remembered._ With crossed arms, she watched him hunt down a pan and a bowl before turning on the stove.

"Come help me," he said when he'd set the pan on the stove and oiled it up.

Lilly laughed. "You haven't ever seen me cook, but let me tell you, it isn't pretty."

He shrugged and grinned. "Who cares? I ain't doin' all the work by myself. Come on, I'll help you."

It was pretty unfair of her to let him do all the work, wasn't it? After all, he _had_ come here instead of going to his family.

With that excuse (and pretending it wasn't because she wanted to watch Scotty close-up), Lilly pulled her hair back into a quick ponytail and crossed over the kitchen to stand by him. "What do I do?"

"Stir the batter," Scotty instructed, handing her a spoon.

Lilly grinned. "I can do that." She stirred while Scotty bustled around behind her at the stove. For a moment, she let herself indulge in the illusion that this was real, that she and Scotty were together and this was just a regular old morning for them, her stirring the batter as he dipped a finger in and licked his finger to test it. She couldn't deny that the thought—the fantasy—made her happier than she'd been in a long, long while. And since it made her happy, she allowed herself to dwell on it for a little while longer.

Scotty glanced at her curiously. "What're you thinkin' about?"

Lilly started, hoping he couldn't see her flush. By the way he raised an eyebrow, though, he probably could, and that made her blush harder.

"Nothing," she said hastily. Then, to distract his attention before she could embarrass herself further, she added, "Did you hear from Boss?"

Instantly his smile disappeared, and a scowl formed in its place. "Yeah, the Tucker bastard's run. They couldn't find him at his house yesterday, and he wasn't at the garage this morning. They put out an APB, but nothing's come in yet."

Lilly frowned but continued to stir the batter in silence. Something was odd about the whole thing. All the evidence pointed to Tucker Quincy, true, but there was something more behind it. Her instincts told her so, and more often than not, her instincts had the right of things.

She went over the case mentally again.

So the night of the shooting, Tucker Quincy had showed up at the Valens, entered quietly, and shot Enrique Valens. The motive they were going on was that Quincy had wanted to clear the way for his relationship with Pam, the relationship that Pam was _still_ denying. Which was curious, considering all the evidence they had. Usually, by now, the unfaithful wife would have broken, but Pam remained adamant that she had never cheated on Enrique with another man, especially with Tucker Quincy.

Lilly decided to come back to that. So to cover up his visit to the Valens' that night, Tucker paid Amber Sweeting to provide an alibi for him for the night and also to lie about a relationship between them. But he'd gotten the loan from Enrique a full month ahead of time, which meant that he had been planning this crime for some time too. But that made no sense then for him to be so sloppy with the execution of the plan. After all, Enrique had been left alive. Had Tucker assumed that Enrique would just bleed out? Wouldn't it have been better to take a couple more shots just to make sure?

Scotty's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Now what're you thinkin' about?"

_Nothing remotely embarrassing now, thank God,_ Lilly thought. Aloud, she said, "The case. I was just going over it in my head."

"Stop thinkin' about it," Scotty said, taking the bowl from her and scooping out a circle of batter on the pan. "It's done with. It's Christmas now, and we're gonna enjoy it."

Lilly smiled, but she couldn't tear her mind from the inconsistencies of the case. Little things here and there didn't add up, and her instincts rebelled from setting the case aside. "Maybe we should just look over it one more time," she suggested, wiping her hands on a towel.

Before she could leave, Scotty moved to block her way. "You ain't goin' anywhere. Case closed, Lil. Let's pretend it's a normal Christmas now and get these pancakes done."

Lilly sighed. "It's just…I got a feeling, okay? There's something about this case that's just bothering me."

"Okay," Scotty said, licking the spoon (which made her shiver involuntarily and inexplicably), "then talk to me about it. But you ain't gonna break out the files. I ain't lettin' you."

Lilly shrugged. "Okay. It's just that some things don't add up. For one thing, if Tucker had gone to get rid of Enrique, why did he leave him alive? Wouldn't he have been more thorough with it? I mean, he _did_ plan it almost a month ahead of time when he paid Amber Sweeting. You would think he would make sure he followed through."

Scotty shrugged. "Maybe he got spooked. He's a mechanic, not a killer. Maybe he realized it and ran off, thinkin' Enrique was dead. Hey, I ain't complainin'."

"It's still a little curious," Lilly said. "Did they find out how he got the gun in the first place?"

Scotty nodded. "Yeah, and it makes him look even guiltier. He got Amber Sweeting to buy him one and registered it under her name."

Lilly paused. Well if _that_ didn't make it infinitely clear that Tucker was the shooter, nothing would. "Did they find it?"

"Nah, they're still lookin'. Nothin' in Amber's apartment yet."

So they couldn't quite link that gun to the same one Tucker used to shoot Enrique. Lilly sighed. "It's probably nothing. He must be guilty."

Scotty looked at her closely, and she shifted uncomfortably. What was he thinking? From where she stood, she noticed his eyes hardening slightly, and he said a bit roughly, "What's wrong with that? You want him to be innocent?"

Surprised at his abrupt question, Lilly stopped stirring the batter and looked at him, startled. "What? No, why would I?"

"Hmm," he replied, flipping the pancake with more force than necessary, "maybe 'cause you were steppin' out with him the other day? How 'bout that?"

She knew he could see the abrupt shock in her expression for a long moment before she was able to bring her face under control. He _knew?_

_Of course he knows,_ she sneered at herself. _He's not stupid. And it's way too obvious. _

"Scotty," she said steadily, trying to find her voice. What could she say to him to explain? He was angry, rightfully angry, and she'd been wrong.

He glanced at her, and she caught the fury in his eyes.

_Fury?_ she thought in alarm. Sure, he had a right to be angry with her for breaking the rules, but _furious?_ Confused, she peered closer and saw something flicker in his eyes, something almost completely hidden by the anger. She couldn't quite figure out what it was.

"You thought I didn't know?" he said tightly, looking away. "Yeah, like I'm that stupid. What were you thinkin', Lil? He was a _suspect_ in my cousin's _shootin'_, and here you are, steppin' out with him on your free time like he's just some guy you met on the street. You ain't that stupid, I know you ain't. What the hell got into you?"

"I…" She stared at him for a long moment before shutting her mouth uncertainly. What could she say to him? He was completely justified in his anger, and there was probably nothing she could say to mollify him.

He didn't seem to keen on hearing an answer anyway. Instead, he raked a hand through his hair and continued, his voice angry, "I mean, this guy _shot_ my cousin, and then I hafta find out you went out on a goddamn _date_ with him? Like we're all best friends or somethin' and you'll just pretty much step out with any goddamn person who asks you. How long have you known the guy anyway? Couple of days, tops. And I bet he didn't even have to get on his knees to get you to go out with him. What'd he do, ask you nicely? Once?"

Lilly flushed, wondering where the hell he was going with this. "Yeah, it wasn't a big deal, Scotty—"

She'd meant for the answer to mollify him, maybe calm him down a bit, but if anything, it just made the fury flash across his face more obviously—fury, and, to her shock, hurt. What the _hell_ was he hurt about?

"Scotty, what's wrong?"

He shook his head agitatedly. "He asked you. Nicely. Once," he said, almost to himself. He shook his head again and leaned on the counter, his back to her. "Damn. _Damn._"

Now she was starting to get frustrated and a bit irritable herself. Lilly crossed her arms, glaring at Scotty's back. "What the hell are you so angry about? Yeah, I went on a date with Tucker, and yeah, it was probably the stupidest thing I've done all year, and yeah, I regret it. So I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear?"

He didn't turn around, and Lilly gritted her teeth. Sure, she loved having Scotty as her partner and friend, and sometimes, she imagined something more with him, but when he got in one of his inexplicable moods, she wanted nothing more than to toss him headfirst out the window. He got angry at the slightest provocations, and he overreacted. Often. She hated seeing him furious, and she hated seeing him furious because of her, but she hated most seeing him furious without knowing exactly _why._

"What are you angry about?" Lilly tried again, trying to keep her voice level.

To her surprise, he whipped around, his expression unreadable. "What am I angry about? What the _hell_ am I angry about? I'll tell you what, Lil. What I'm _angry_ about is that you stepped out with a guy you barely knew and he barely had to string two words together to get you to do it. And me? I get scared about _touchin'_ you, let alone askin' you to a date. I bet you went and invited him back to your house too—hell, I bet you two had a regular ol' romp in your bed, and you didn't care at all. But me? I touch you and it all goes straight to hell, and you get that goddamn Ice Queen look, and I get so goddamn terrified that you'll run."

He let out a harsh breath before shaking his head. "Nah, that's not even what I'm mad about. I'm mad that he got a date outta you in four damn _seconds_, and in four damn _years_, I haven't gotten so much as a _look_ outta you."

And then he froze. She could practically hear him suck in a breath in shock, and when he looked at her, she could see the abject terror in his eyes. He hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't meant to say any of it, she could tell. Hell, he probably hadn't even meant to get angry in the first place.

The realization struck her hard, and Lilly realized incredulously that Scotty was…jealous.

Very simply, plainly _jealous_.

Which…which also meant that he harbored feelings for her, deeper-than-friends feelings. Not feelings between partners. Feelings _beyond_ partners, feelings that probably broke a thousand office regulations, feelings…possibly feelings almost like hers.

For a long, suspended moment, they just stared at each other, their expressions matching pictures of pure shock. Lilly, hit with a revelation like that, could hardly string together a coherent thought. They stood stock-still in Lilly's kitchen as the pancakes popped and sizzled. The one on the pan was burning now, but neither of them moved.

Finally, Scotty let out a long breath, and she realized he'd been waiting—waiting for what? For her to run? God, had he been afraid that she'd bolt because of his outburst? For a moment, it was all she could do to keep from throwing her arms around him in reassurance that she was still there, would always be there. She was done running, wasn't she? She'd decided that the night her sister had called.

"Pancakes," he said suddenly, inanely. "They're burnin'."

"Oh. Right."

Somehow his words unfroze her, and Lilly moved for the stove at the same time Scotty did. Their hands touched as they both reached for the knob, and Lilly jerked back quickly as if he'd burned her. Too late she saw the surprise and hurt in his eyes as he switched the stove off.

As the burning smell receded slightly, Lilly tucked her hands in her jeans pockets and stood awkwardly in the uncomfortable silence. She wanted to say something—anything—to break the awful quiet, but she had no idea what to say. _I'm sorry? _It didn't seem like enough. _Do you…maybe feel something for me? Something more than partners and friends?_ She wanted to know the answer to that badly, so badly it almost hurt to not ask it. But she was afraid of the answer too, oh so afraid.

Once again, Scotty was the one to break the silence. "I, uh…well…Lil, I—I'm sorry. So sorry. I ain't…ain't thinkin' right or somethin'. I didn't mean to say anythin'. Let's just—let's just forget I said anythin', alright? Yeah, forget I said anythin'."

He wiped his hands on his jeans, and for the first time since she'd met him, Scotty looked nervous. Angry Scotty, yes, she'd seen too much of that. Smug and overconfident Scotty she'd seen too. She'd seen him concerned and intensely protective and completely focused, but she'd never seen him openly _nervous._ It was kind of…endearing.

He just looked so uncomfortable in that moment that Lilly couldn't help but chuckle quietly. He eyed her in surprise, a bit of the tension leaking out of his frame.

"It's okay," Lilly reassured him quietly. "I…" _Don't care. Won't run. Wish you'd said something earlier. _

The last was definitely true. If _this_ was how he'd felt about her all this time…well, what the hell had they been doing for the past four years? What had they been _missing?_

And she realized at that point that she was _ready._ Ready for a relationship with Scotty, ready for all the rule-breaking they'd do, ready to have him and even all the problems that would come with him. More than ready, in fact.

She found her voice. "Scotty, let's talk."

He looked at her apprehensively. "Talk? About what?"

"About…about us."

He got that frightened look in his eyes again. "Oh, crap, Lil, I don't wanna…forget I said anythin', okay? It's okay. I ain't gonna say anythin' like that anymore, and I'll stop actin' like a damn idiot, I swear. I just…Can we still be partners?"

Could they still be _partners?_ Lilly looked at him incredulously and wondered if he had any idea of how she felt about him. Hadn't she blushed enough in the past week alone for him to get the hint?

"That's not what I'm talking about," Lilly said, smiling slightly. "Come on, let's talk."

His eyes drifted to the pancakes. "They'll get cold," he said, in a completely transparent effort to change the subject.

"That's what the microwave is for." Lilly crossed her arms and leaned on the counter across from him. "Let's talk about how you…feel about me." As she said it, a thrill shot through Lilly from head to toe. She was doing this. She was really doing this. Finally.

As for Scotty, he looked like she'd suddenly shoved a gun in his face. For a moment, he just looked shocked. "Lil, I…" He trailed off, licked his lips, and tried again. "I might have a little more…I don't know, somethin' a little more than feelings between partners, you know, and I don't know how the hell that happened, and I sure as hell wouldn't be thinkin' about you in any way other than partners if I wasn't such an idiot, but I was sort of thinkin' and—" He cut himself off abruptly, probably because of her confused expression. Instead of continuing, he took a deep breath and said steadily, "Well, I'm just gonna get plain and honest here, okay?"

"Please," Lilly said, her voice just a little dry.

He took another breath as if to steady himself. "You're right, Lil. It ain't just partners for me. It's more. I've liked you for…a long time now, I think. Only I just realized it a few days ago at the—the diner."

The diner. The kiss. Lilly felt her ears heat as she remembered the feel of his lips on hers.

She opened her mouth, but Scotty cut her off. It seemed like he was suddenly determined to get the load off his chest all at once. "And I realized it was more than partners for me, more than friends too, and it sorta scared me, you know? I mean, me havin' _feelings_ for you is—is messed up. We're _partners,_ damn it, and it's wrong. Against the rules. Boss would have our asses for somethin' like this."

Lilly could hardly believe what she was hearing. He was reciting all of her own arguments back to her. Had they truly been thinking thoughts so similar all this time?

"But I thought about it," Scotty continued, gesturing helplessly, "and I can't stop. You don't _stop_ somethin' like this. I can't stop thinkin' about you, and everythin' somehow reminds me of you. It's…it's crazy, but I can't help it, and I ain't sure if I even _want _to help it. I get so jealous, too, when I see you with someone else. Like that night in the bar, and when I found out about Tucker…I reread the file yesterday, and I just got so jealous it was hard to think. I ain't angry at you for keepin' secrets from me, I'm mad at _him_ for…for gettin' you. It's just…" He took a long, shaky breath, and his voice dropped to a whisper. "I think I love you, Lil."

For a moment, he looked shocked that he'd gone that far. _She_ was sure shocked he had. But somehow, a part of her wasn't surprised. In fact, a part of her had expected it. Scotty was never a person to do things in halves. Relationships shouldn't have been any different. He was either emotionally invested in a relationship or he wasn't. And somehow she knew he wouldn't stop at _affection_ either; it was _love_ or nothing. He felt everything for her or nothing. That was just how he was.

She felt her heart swell at the realization.

Scotty Valens, her partner for over four years, her friend, her confidant, _loved _her. Somehow, despite all her flaws and problems and her damn Ice Queen mask, despite all the women he had been with and could be with who probably had far fewer issues than she did and could probably comfort him far more easily, he loved _her._

Before she could manage anything, he scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Sorry. We had a good thing goin' here and I had to go actin' like a damn idiot and screw it all up. Can we still be partners, you think? I swear I won't mention anythin' or do anythin' that would make you uncomfortable, and I understand if you wanna go out on interviews with Miller instead of me. I ain't gonna make a big deal about it."

"Scotty," Lilly said, proud of how steady she sounded, "listen. I want to tell you something too. It's…well, of course we can still be partners—"

Before she could continue, he let out a loud sigh of relief and his shoulders sagged. "Thank God. I was scared you would…never mind. That's good enough, Lil. I ain't gonna ask anythin' else—"

"Listen, Scotty!" Lilly interrupted, her brow creasing. "I just want you to know that I've thinking a lot this week. Thinking about my life and where it's gone and where it's going. Where I _want_ it to go. It's been a long time since I've done anything that made me happy, and I was just thinking it's been _too_ long, you know? It's time to change that. And I was thinking about Patrick and Kite and Joseph, how it all ended badly, and I was thinking about how I'm tired. Tired of being alone, I mean, tired of coming home alone and spending holidays alone. It's been just me and the cats for as long as I can remember, and I'm tired of it."

She hesitated. How could she explain what she felt in words? How would words alone ever be enough to explain how he made her feel?

"I can't…" She sighed in frustration. "I don't know how to tell you…I…"

And her well of words just dried up right then and there, so she decided that the only thing she could do now was show him how she felt. So she closed the distance between them in a couple of nervous steps, grabbed a handful of his t-shirt, and pressed her lips against his.

* * *

**Sorry for the cliffhanger! No, not sorry, actually. This is where the chapter just cut off naturally. It's also to prompt you to review so I can get the next chapter up more quickly. It takes maybe two minutes tops. Let me know what you thought! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for your wonderful reviews on the last part. Glad you all liked it. I'm sure you can't wait to see how Scotty's going to react. This chapter's long to make up for the last one, and there's plenty of Scotty/Lilly fluff to go around. Enjoy!**

**Oh, and Vera decided to start off the chapter. :)**

**Disclaimer: Cold Case is not mine. Never has been, never will be. **

* * *

THIRTEEN

The instant he knocked on that red door, Vera felt the intense urge to flee. What the hell was he doing there anyway? Christmas morning, and he had nothing better to do than go annoy the crap out of a woman who was probably enjoying presents and holiday spirits with her little girl? God, he was pathetic. But he didn't move.

Nick Vera didn't run. Not from dangerous situations or uncomfortable situations, and Nick Vera _definitely_ didn't run from women. So he stayed put, his fingers tapping on his pant leg the only indication of his nervousness.

What could he say? The truth would probably be easiest. _Hey, Merry Christmas, I'm sort of in love with you. Sort of._

Nah, he'd probably get clocked and end up in the hospital, which was a pretty crappy way to spend Christmas. It'd probably be better just to start with _Merry Christmas,_ then work up to the rest of it. He'd made up his mind—he wouldn't leave her house without telling her exactly how he felt about her. And when Nick Vera made up his mind, he stuck to his guns 'til it was over.

The door swung open before he'd even thought of a word to say. Kat Miller stood in the doorway in a pair of pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved shirt. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so disheveled—or cute.

He held up the box he was holding and said the only thing that came to mind: "Donuts?"

Kat stared at him for a long moment. "What are you doin' here, Vera?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "What, I can't show up to wish my co-worker a Merry Christmas?"

"Uh, yeah, 'cause it's kinda weird," Miller returned, leaning on the door. She eyed him like she couldn't figure him out. "You ain't spendin' your Christmas in front of the TV with a dozen pizzas or somethin'?"

He winced in mock-hurt. "Ouch. Here I am, thinkin' I'm gonna be nice and share my box of donuts with you and your kid, but if you're gonna be like that…"

She snatched the box from his hands. "Never mind. Get inside, you look like you're freezin' your _cojones_ off out there."

Well, that was easy. Grinning, Vera stepped inside, shut the door behind him, and took off his coat. Miller's house was small and cozy, just what he'd expected from a single mother cop. Hanging up his coat on the hanger near the door, Vera followed Miller into her kitchen, where she opened up the box of donuts and fished one out.

"Mmm, good," she mumbled around a mouthful of donut.

"I know," Vera said, reaching for one himself. Before he could grab one, Miller's hand shot out and slapped him hard on the wrist.

"Ow!" he said, staring at her. "What was that for?"

"My donuts," she said, eyes narrowing. "You brought 'em for my Christmas present, right? Who ever heard of a person givin' a gift and then usin' it too?."

"So you won't share?" Vera asked, his surprise growing. "I _brought_ them."

"Yeah, for me, and I'm _eatin' _them," Kat replied smugly, snagging another one from the box.

Deciding that he had better things to do than argue with her for donuts (which was definitely a first), Vera shrugged. "Where's your kid?"

"Outside," Miller replied. "Playin' with the snow in the back."

Vera grinned. "So we can talk?"

Kat sent him a wary look. "Talk about what?"

"Well, I've been thinkin'," he started.

"Always a bad sign," Kat muttered, and he glared at her.

"I was thinkin' 'bout Valens and Lil and about how Valens—well, he's been different this week, don't you think?"

"Different how?" Kat mumbled around a mouthful of donut.

"Like…how he looks at her," Vera explained. "He looks at her now like he ain't afraid of gettin' found out, you know? And it makes me wonder if he's workin' up the guts to actually tell her how he feels."

Miller snorted. "_Valens?_ Tell _Lil_ how he feels? Come on, we would know if somethin' like that happened. Valens would be all moody, and Lil would be hyperventilatin' in the interview room or somethin'. Or if it actually worked out, they'd both be smilin' like they'd just won the lottery. We woulda _noticed_ somethin'—"

"That isn't the point," Vera interrupted. "The point is that I can't be beat by _Valens_ of all people—"

"There's probably worse things," Miller said dryly.

"Stop interrupting," Vera growled, his brow furrowing. "Anyway, if he's out there about to spill his guts to Lil, I gotta do it first."

"Spill your guts to Lil?"

"No! God, shut up, will you? I gotta tell the girl I like first, before he beats me to the punch with Lil."

Kat raised an eyebrow. "The mystery girl? You want me to tell you how to do it? I have—"

That was it. He'd had enough of trying to squeeze in a sentence at a time between her sarcasm. He picked up a donut and stuffed it into her open mouth, ignoring her widening eyes. She just stood in shocked silence, and Vera sighed in relief.

"Finally. Okay, just listen now. I ain't got a flowery speech or anythin'. I ain't got any presents either. I eat your donuts all the time, and you give me hell for it. I ain't exactly in the best shape of my life. I got zero experience with kids, and I got a job with the crappiest hours in existence. I probably ain't gonna have a lot of time to go out, but it shouldn't be much of a problem 'cause you got the same job I do."

Her eyes wide, Miller was working hard to swallow and get a word in, so Vera continued hurriedly. "And you—you got a kid, and you got a whip for a tongue, and you kick the crap outta me for my donuts. You got crappy hours on the job too, and you got a gun, so I can't pull any bull on you. You won't participate in the office softball games, and you don't let me eat your Chinese food family style. I gotta be honest here, sometimes you scare the crap outta me."

Her mouth was empty now, and she opened it. Vera hurried on right over her. "But it doesn't matter to me. I don't care. I don't know if you care about whatever issues I got, but I'll work with you. Whatever you want. I just…I like you."

He stopped, unsure of what else to say. He'd said everything needed saying, right? And by the way she was staring at him with a look of complete shock on her face, she'd gotten his message, loud and clear. Now what was she going to do about it?

A bit nervously, he shifted on his feet. "Well? I ain't gonna—"

Her lips silenced his, and for a long moment, he couldn't feel anything but the kiss. The kiss, so full of Kat Miller, so full of…donuts.

He laughed against her lips, and she drew back. "What?"

"You taste good," he muttered. Then, realizing what the kiss had meant, his smile widened. "Valens was right."

"Right about what?"

"I shoulda just told you how I felt from the start," Vera sighed.

"Probably would have worked," Miller agreed.

"I probably woulda won more donut fights by now."

She slapped him on the arm. "Don't think I'm gonna let you take advantage of me from now on. You still ain't gettin' any donuts if I got anythin' to do with it."

"Hard ass," Vera muttered. He leaned back against the counter and just enjoyed the feel of holding her in his arms. Absently, he said, "Speakin' of Valens, I wonder what he's doin' now. Think he's with Lil?"

Miller snorted. "With Lil? Yeah right. He's probably with his gazillion cousins right now. And Lil? It ain't hard to figure out what she's doin'. She's probably on the couch, sleepin' with her cats or somethin'. Can you see her doin' anythin' different?"

Vera thought for a moment before shaking his head. "You're right."

"I always am," Kat answered.

He grinned impishly. "So…does that mean I can get a donut now?"

Kat gave him a deadpan look and crossed her arms. "Try it and see if you still have fingers left when you're done."

* * *

Holy hell…holy…_hell_…

His knees weak from shock, Scotty leaned against the counter to keep himself upright. His brain had suddenly shot into hyper-awareness, and he could feel everything sharply, from her hands bunching up handfuls of his t-shirt, to her arms pressed against his chest, to her _lips_ on _his._

Eyes wide, he stared down at her, unable to move. His brain raced to catch up with reality. Lilly had…kissed him? Lilly _was_ kissing him?

Lilly _felt something_ for him?

If that was true…if that was true…

Then what the hell had he been doing all week?

Why the hell wasn't he doing anything _now?_

The thought galvanized him into action. Wrapping his arms around her like he'd always wanted to, he deepened the kiss, reveling in how soft her lips were, in how she looked so adorable when she closed her eyes, in how she pressed _back._ She tasted like heaven a thousand times over, and all he could think for a long moment was that the kiss in the diner had _nothing_ on this one, absolutely _nothing._

Her hands released his shirt and moved up to tangle themselves in his hair, and he groaned aloud. Lilly Rush was _kissing_ him. Lilly Rush_ liked _him. Lilly Rush, with all her issues and all the hurt she'd kept bottled in for who knew how long, had let him in.

At the thought, pure, pounding _joy_ exploded through him like wildfire, and he couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up inside of him. It broke the kiss, and he leaned back against the counter, still holding her, laughing like he'd won the lottery. And he had, in a way—he'd won something better.

Lilly watched him in a half-confused amusement. "What's so funny?"

He looked at her in her jeans and t-shirt and messy ponytail, and smiled. Pulling her close, he whispered, "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

He didn't have to look to know that she was blushing. Furiously. It made him grin.

"Well," she said, pulling back to look at him, "you aren't so bad yourself, Valens."

He laughed. "Admit it. I'm the hottest thing you've ever seen."

"No, not really," Lilly replied, grinning teasingly. At his mock-disappointed expression, though, she added, "But you make the top three cut."

"Top three?" he repeated. "I'd like to see the guys who beat me."

She smiled and leaned in to press her lips briefly against his again. He loved how her eyes sparkled like she'd just been made the happiest person on earth. "Don't you think we've got better things to do?"

He thought of how many cold showers he'd been forced to take over the years and groaned. "Definitely."

But, to his surprise and disappointment, she broke away from his embrace and picked up a plate. "Now tell me how long to microwave the pancakes, and finish up the rest of the batter."

Of course. It would be all business with Lilly first. The bedroom would have to wait. Still, Scotty couldn't find any reason to complain, so he obediently turned the stove back on and poured a circle of batter.

Ten minutes later, they were seated in front of Lilly's TV, trying to juggle plates and cups of orange juice while attempting to keep Lilly's cats from sticking their noses into the pancakes. Lilly laughed aloud at the harried expression on Scotty's face when one of the cats languidly made her way onto Scotty's lap.

"They don't bite," Lilly assured him.

Scotty eyed the ball of fur and nodded cautiously. "Sure."

Lilly just grinned and leaned up against him. At the feel of her head on his shoulder, Scotty couldn't help but look at her in wonder. Had it really only been a week ago that they'd been just partners? Had it really been a few days since the kiss in the diner, the one that had started all this? Had it really been _four_ _years_ of pent up feelings as they each waited for the other to say something? God, he'd been so stupid. If only he'd gone out on a limb, risked himself just a little earlier…

"You're frowning," Lilly said. "What're you thinking about?"

"About how I wish I'd said somethin' earlier," Scotty answered a little sheepishly. "I mean, you have no idea how long I've wanted to say somethin'."

Lilly sighed. "It's probably better that you just waited 'til today."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, if you said it any earlier, I probably would have freaked out. I wasn't…well, I hadn't really thought about the idea of you and me until this week."

Scotty grinned. "Yeah, I wasn't sure about it 'til this week either." It had all started because of the kiss, hadn't it? If it hadn't been for that woman…

He chuckled. "We gotta go back to the diner."

Apparently, Lilly was thinking along the same lines. "And thank that waitress for stopping us under the mistletoe."

He grinned happily. "I probably wouldn't have done anythin' if it weren't for that mistletoe."

"I'm rethinking my dislike for it," Lilly said, smiling. Chewing on a mouthful of pancakes, she pressed herself closer to him, and Scotty freed an arm to put it around her. God, if he could just sit here and hold her for the rest of his life, he'd gladly give up everything else in the world.

Eventually, though, Lilly moved. She set her now-empty plate down on the coffee table and picked up the files next to it.

"Let's just look at it one more time," she insisted. "I've got a feeling."

Well, he'd been her partner for too long to be able to ignore her feelings. More often than not, Lilly was right when no one else was. So, with a shrug, Scotty picked up a folder too and opened it up.

Quietly, they read for a couple of minutes, although Scotty was too distracted by Lilly's proximity to absorb much. As far as he was concerned, the case was over, and he was damned glad it was. They'd pinned the crime on Tucker Quincy and all they had to do now was find him. With an APB out, it would only be a matter of time before all the loose ends on the case were wrapped up. Sure, there were little curiosities here and there, things that didn't add up, but that was always how it was on a case. This wasn't any different.

But by the way Lilly had gotten that _aha!_ look in her eyes, she'd seen something he hadn't.

"What?" he asked when she didn't say anything.

Lilly flipped open the file she was holding. "Look, in our first interview with Pam, I remembered she said something about how Enrique was supposed to go pick their son up at soccer practice, right?"

Scotty nodded. "They got into an argument, and Pam went instead. So?"

"So Tucker's gone through all this planning getting an alibi and a gun, so he must have picked this night specifically, right? He must have known Enrique's schedule. He knew Enrique was supposed to go pick up his son at soccer practice, that's why he came at exactly that time. But he couldn't have known Enrique wouldn't go."

Realization dawned on him. "So in his plans, Enrique wouldn't be home at all. Which means…"

"His true target was Pam," Lilly said, her voice excited.

Scotty sat up. "So? He was still there, and he still shot Enrique. He's still our guy."

"But _why?_" Lilly pressed. "Why would he bring a gun to the house to kill Pam? I thought he loved her?"

Scotty shrugged. "He's a psychopath? The fact is, he shot my cousin and he's goin' down for it."

"It's still curious," Lilly mused. "Maybe we can take a look into Tucker's background, see what we can dig up."

"Already done," Scotty said, remembering how Stillman had filled him in. "Boss said the guy had no rap sheet but he did have a couple of restrainin' orders."

"For what?"

Scotty shrugged. "You know, stalking and stuff like that. Basically he got too close too soon, and it was creepy."

Lilly sighed. "I'm sure there's more to it. I mean, if he went to the house thinking Pam was there, that completely changes his motive. Maybe if we figure that out, we can figure out where he's gone."

They sat in brooding silence for a while before Scotty sighed and shut the file. "We can do that later. It's Christmas today. Let's go somewhere."

Lilly raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

Scotty shrugged. "Anywhere you want to go?"

"Don't you have to go visit your family?"

He almost said no. He opened his mouth to tell her that he'd much rather spend his day with her and that his family wouldn't mind one bit, but what came out instead was, "Yeah, you're right. Let's go."

She stared at him in startled bewilderment. "I didn't mean—not _with_ me—"

Scotty smirked. "What? You don't wanna go somewhere with me?"

Lilly shook her head. "That's not what I meant—"

"Then let's go." As he rose, the cat—Olivia, he remembered—scrambled off his lap with a yowl, and he grabbed Lilly's hand. "They'll be expectin' us."

"They'll be expecting _you_," Lilly protested, resisting him. "Not me! Scotty—"

"No buts," he said, grinning at her nervousness. "What're you so scared about anyway? They all like you."

She paused, her brow creasing. "They do?"

He nodded. "Sure. They ain't gonna bite." At her unconvinced expression, Scotty smirked and added, "Much."

Lilly sighed. "I don't know what I'm so nervous about. I guess…I just don't want to make a bad impression."

"How could you do that?" Scotty asked skeptically. "You're one of the nicest people I know—well, sometimes—and you're smart, and you got manners unlike Vera, and they already like you. There ain't any problems."

Lilly smiled weakly. "It's just…how _do_ you act around a family?"

Oh. _Oh._

She wasn't scared of his family exactly; she was scared she wouldn't know how to act with them, which was completely understandable since she'd never had a proper family herself. It wasn't anything more than that. He smiled in relief.

"That's it? It ain't 'cause you're afraid my family's a buncha cannibals or somethin'?" He laughed at her wide-eyed expression. "Lil, you ain't got any reason to be scared. My family can be a little overwhelmin', but they're all good people. They'd understand if you mess up here and there."

Apparently, it wasn't the right thing to say, because Lilly closed her eyes. "Oh God…"

"I mean, you _ain't gonna_ mess up," Scotty amended hastily. "There ain't a set of rules or anythin' for meetin' families, Lil. Just go with your gut. It works with the job."

Before she could protest anymore, Scotty grabbed her wrist again and dragged her to the door. He took his coat off the hanger and grabbed hers too. "Come on."

"Wait, wait!" Lilly pulled her wrist from his hold and glanced down at herself. "Shouldn't I change or something? I can't go looking like this."

Scotty paused and eyed the t-shirt and the jeans with a hole in the left knee. She looked way too good to be true, and…Oh hell, now he wanted to kiss her again.

When he'd wrestled his thoughts under control, he nodded in agreement. "You're right. You look way too sexy. I ain't lettin' you go anywhere lookin' like that; you'll get mauled or somethin'."

He thoroughly enjoyed her shocked expression and the fact that he could say something like that to her without getting all his teeth knocked out. Oh, he was definitely going to love teasing her now that he knew she'd let him.

As she spluttered in astonishment, he took her arm and pushed her into her bedroom, shutting the door. "Hurry up!" he called. "And wear something warm 'cause it's freezin' outside."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they pulled up to Ramiro's, which was positively thrumming with festivity. Christmas lights and wreaths decorated the windows and the roof, and even from outside, they could clearly hear the Christmas music being blasted by some stereo. All in all, it made Lilly gulp and grip her seat belt tightly.

"Come on, Lil," Scotty said, already out of the car. "I ain't gonna let 'em at you, I promise."

The thought of kids made her just a bit nauseous. What on earth would she say to them? What if she made one of them _cry?_ She shuddered at the thought.

The passenger door opened, and Scotty grabbed her hand. "Come on, I ain't gonna let you sit out here all day."

"That would be nice," Lilly muttered, but she followed him obediently. Before he headed up the walkway, however, Scotty popped his trunk and pulled out a laden red bag.

"What's that?" Lilly asked warily.

"Presents," he explained. "For everyone. What did you expect?"

Presents. Christmas. Oh God, she should have at least brought something. At least something for the kids—no, for Scotty's parents. They were more important, weren't they? And she had a couple of things stuffed away in her house somewhere, some things she wouldn't mind giving away. Or was it only appropriate to give things she'd bought?

"Lil? You okay?"

Lilly sighed. "You forgot to tell me I needed to bring gifts."

He raised an eyebrow. "Forgot to tell you? I _didn't _tell you. For a reason too. You don't need to bring gifts."

She raised her empty hands helplessly. "But I feel bad about it."

"Listen, Lil," Scotty said, setting down the bag. "We're together now, right? And that makes me happy. And my family's happy when I'm happy. So don't you think that's the best present for 'em?"

Lilly couldn't help but smile. There was a layer of sweetness to Scotty that she never would have guessed at, and it made her feel like the luckiest girl alive. Which was something she'd never felt with Kite and Joseph.

"I still feel bad," she muttered, letting him take her hand and lead her up to the door.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You wouldn't believe how long I've wanted to do that."

"You wouldn't believe how long I've wanted you to do that," Lilly returned, grinning.

He groaned. "Then what the hell have we been doin' this whole time?"

The door opened before she could answer, and a short, older woman greeted them, her hair pulled back in a bun and her face wreathed in wrinkles. She smiled warmly and burst off instantly into a torrent of Spanish.

Scotty answered her quickly, and Lilly decided just to wait until they took in her bewildered expression and realized that she was completely lost. Finally, the woman stepped back and said something to the effect of inviting them in the house. Scotty grinned and followed her inside, so Lilly did the same.

"My mom," Scotty explained, lugging the red bag along. "She just got here with my brother, apparently."

"Your brother Mike," Lilly said, glad she at least remembered a name, if not a face.

He nodded. "Right. We're gonna hand out presents first."

"We?" Lilly repeated in alarm. "I…well, I'm not good around kids."

Scotty chuckled. "You'll be great. Come on." He grabbed her arm before she could pull away and dragged her into the living room, where it looked like an entire town's population had converged. How many cousins did Scotty _have?_ They all looked up as Scotty entered, towing Lilly behind, and as one, a pack of children leaped up and bounded toward them.

"Uncle Scotty!" came the many-voiced cry as they rushed him, and Lilly hurriedly extracted her hand from his and took a huge step back. Scotty dropped the bag and reached down toward them, laughing. To see him standing in the middle of a pack of children, a wide smile splitting his face, was kind of…cute. Lilly smiled slightly at the sight of her temperamental, sometimes difficult partner tossing up one of the kids like a natural.

"We were just opening presents," a woman called from the other side of the room. Lilly recognized her as Patricia from the hospital.

"Lilly Rush."

Lilly turned in surprise to find Ramiro at her elbow. She flushed in embarrassment when she realized she was blocking his entry into the room.

"Sorry," she said, smiling apologetically.

"It's nothing," he said quietly. "Merry Christmas. What brings you to our house?"

"I, uh…Scotty invited me," Lilly explained. "I hope I'm not intruding on any family time or something."

Ramiro shook his head quickly. "We are always glad to invite someone into our house. Especially someone my son so obviously likes well."

Lilly blushed. Did that mean he could tell what sort of relationship Lilly and Scotty had between them? Or was he just being kind?

All the same, she smiled. "Thank you." When Scotty's father turned away, Lilly leaned against the wall out of the way of everyone else and watched Scotty dole out the presents. The kids clamored around him and tried to grab boxes out of the bag before he let them, but he shooed them off and handed out one present at a time. He was good with kids, she saw. It was a thoroughly endearing scene that made her like him that much more, if that was even possible.

All of the children got presents, and they all seemed to love what they got. Lilly wondered when on earth Scotty had had the time to go out and thoughtfully buy each one so each kid was guaranteed to like it. Hadn't they been on the case all week? Between figuring out who shot Enrique and catering to pretty much her every need because she'd just been so tired all week, when had he had time to go shopping?

"_Tio, tio, quien es ella?"_

Lilly took a step back involuntarily as one of the children pointed at her. What on earth was she saying? Obviously something to the effect of 'who's she?' because Scotty took Lilly's hand and grinned widely.

"_Mi novia,"_ Scotty said, grinning so widely at the word that Lilly had no doubt that he'd said 'girlfriend.' She smiled shyly, wondering where on earth all her courage had gone. Sure, she was fine facing every last criminal known to man, but she could hardly look Scotty's ten-year-old niece in the eye. _Especially_ since she'd just been revealed as Scotty's girlfriend.

The little girl's eyes went as wide as saucers, and she shot off another question in Spanish, this time directed at Lilly. At a loss, Lilly glanced helplessly at Scotty, who was grinning widely.

"What'd she say?" Lilly asked.

Scotty gave her the same innocent, wide-eyed look. "What?"

"You're laughing at me," Lilly realized, annoyed.

"Not _at_ you, really. Just at how adorable you look when you're confused."

Lilly sent him a glare, but it was hard to stay mad at him when he was saying things like that. Did he have any idea what sort of hold he had over her now?

"Don't make me pull my gun," Lilly threatened good-naturedly.

"Gun?"

Startled, Lilly turned to find Scotty's mother standing behind them. She looked at Lilly curiously. "Are you a cop too?"

Scotty turned too and grinned. "_Sí_, _mama,_ she's my partner."

"I can see that," his mother said dryly, eyeing their intertwined hands.

Lilly blushed, something that was happening _way_ too often these days. "No, I'm his partner at work. I'm a cop too, Detective Lilly Rush. It's nice to meet you."

"Rosa Valens," the woman said, smiling broadly. "Scotty's mother."

They shook hands politely before Rosa turned to Scotty, her expression filled with mock-indignation—or at least, Lilly hoped it was false.

"When were you planning to tell me about a girl?"

Scotty grinned widely and leaned down to whisper in Lilly's ear. "She's got that mom voice on."

"What does that mean?" Lilly whispered back. She couldn't imagine what a mom voice was, since her own mother had rarely used any sort of voice with her at all.

"She's teasin'," Scotty explained, his eyes gleaming in amusement as Rosa eyed them. "So don't take it to heart."

Oh. That was good to know.

"As soon as I knocked some sense into her," Scotty answered his mother, grinning cockily. "She's got a stubborn streak."

"_Me?"_ Lilly said indignantly. "If you'd _said_ something earlier, you wouldn't be complaining now."

"Oh, then you woulda said 'yes, Scotty, sure, let's take this past partners' if I'd said somethin' last week?"

No, probably not. Definitely not. But Lilly shrugged and said, "Yeah, I would've."

He laughed. "You're a rotten liar, Lil. You're amazin' at interrogatin' and puttin' on a front in the interview room, but you're crap at lyin' to people who know you."

That was probably true. Acting came easily to her on the job against suspects, but she couldn't seem to hide much from her friends and from Scotty in particular. So she just shrugged in defeat and followed Scotty out into the backyard of the house—or what counted as the backyard. It was a huge expanse that stretched out into a patch of woods behind the house with so much room that even with all of Scotty's family, it looked empty.

"The woods," Scotty said, nodding toward them. "Played there a lot when I was kid."

"Sounds like an adventure," Lilly remarked, eyeing them. "Isn't it dangerous?"

Scotty shook his head. "Nah, nothin' that dangerous lives in the woods. Maybe some snakes, but you learn to avoid 'em. It's a ton of land to run around in. Perfect place to play hide-and-seek or somethin' like that."

"Sounds nice," Lilly said a bit enviously. What she would have given to have a normal childhood like Scotty's, running around in the woods with snakes as her biggest worry…

They spent the rest of the day at Ramiro's, occasionally chatting with Scotty's relatives but mostly keeping to themselves. Scotty took her on a glorified tour of the woods, pointing out places where he'd spent lazy afternoons as a child. For lunch, they found a shady spot under a tree near the pond and spent most of the next hour talking and enjoying some of Rosa's Christmas food. In the late afternoon, Lilly spent some uncomfortable but surprisingly enjoyable moments with Scotty's seemingly endless nieces and nephews before Scotty came and rescued her. It wasn't long after that that she started to yawn like she hadn't slept all week—and she kind of almost hadn't.

Scotty grinned as she tried to stifle the last of a series of yawns. "Time to head home?"

"No, I'm—" Her words were truncated by a long, drawn-out yawn even though she tried to talk through it. Scotty chuckled and stood from the armchair he had been reclining in.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

Lilly argued half-heartedly to drive and wasn't too surprised when she lost. She dozed off in the car and woke up just as Scotty pulled up to her house.

"You gonna wake up?" Scotty asked, chuckling quietly. "Or am I gonna have to carry you in?"

Wasn't that a pleasant thought? But it would probably be dangerous for Scotty to be carrying her while trying to watch out for the icy patches on the street, so Lilly shook her head and climbed out of the car by herself. They walked in companionable silence to the door, where Lilly dug out her key and unlocked it.

She turned on the threshold of her house. "It's still early. You want to come in?"

He smiled widely, like he hadn't expected her to ask. "Sure." He followed her in and flicked on the lights as she took off her coat. Olivia and Tripod raced up from wherever they'd been napping and wound around her legs, obviously demanding some food and stroking. Lilly grinned down at them and went to the kitchen to feed them, Scotty behind her. He leaned on the kitchen counter as she hunted down a couple of cans and the can opener.

"Cute cats," he said, grinning at her.

She laughed. "Yeah. That's Olivia," she said, pointing, "and that's Tripod."

"Cute," he repeated. When she was done feeding them, he asked, "So now what?"

Lilly shrugged. "You want to maybe watch some TV?"

He nodded. "Sure."

They settled on the couch, Scotty in one corner and Lilly hesitating next to him. She'd watched TV with men she'd dated before, but none of them had really been the cuddling type. With Patrick, she'd just sat next to him and leaned into him occasionally. She'd learned early on with Ray that he tended to get excited watching anything, so it was best to give him space. Joseph had been the closest she'd been to cuddling on the couch, but then again, she'd never spent enough time at home with him to really experience that.

Now, she eyed the space between her and Scotty. Could she ask for him to hold her? Was that how one did that? Or could she just scoot up between his arms and expect him to wrap his arms around her? What if he didn't want to?

He didn't seem to notice her inner debate. Sitting forward, he flipped through the channels slowly until he finally settled on a black-and-white Christmas film.

He grinned and sat back. "Appropriate."

Yeah, it was. Still, she didn't settle herself, wondering if he could tell what she was thinking. It was Christmas night, the first Christmas night in a long time she'd spent with someone else. It was snowing outside again, and the house was kind of cold, and she just wanted to be held. Could he tell?

Scotty turned slightly to look at her, and his brow furrowed. She could tell he was trying to figure her out, so she sent him a little smile.

"What?" he asked, catching the reluctance in her posture. "Relax."

"It's nothing," Lilly said, only slightly disappointed. She crossed her legs on the couch and leaned back into the couch.

Still, Scotty watched her. He seemed to be debating something for a moment before he reached out slowly.

"C'mere," he said, and before she could protest, he had her settled between his outstretched legs on the couch, his arms around her.

"Don't freak, 'kay?" he murmured into her hair. "I just wanted to do this. You have no idea how long I've been waitin' to do this."

"Freak?" Lilly laughed, more shyly than she'd intended. "I…I like this."

She felt him smile against her hair and a content smile spread across her face too. Sitting there watching an old Christmas movie with snow whirling down outside, with the ornaments and decorations she'd bought the day before gleaming in the TV's light, with Scotty's arms wrapped warmly around her, Lilly felt, for the first time in a long time, happy.

* * *

**Happy with the way it went? Not satisfied? Leave me your thoughts!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Another update for you guys. Hope you enjoy! As always, leave a review if you have time!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine...**

* * *

FOURTEEN

Scotty woke to a god-awful crick in his neck, the TV murmuring quietly, and a weight on his chest. The first hurt almost too much to move, so he just leaned his head back and tried to remember where he was and what had happened.

Christmas…it was Christmas. Was it? No, wait, Christmas had been yesterday. By the light bleeding in from the window, it was definitely morning, so it must have been the day after Christmas.

Where was he? Definitely not his own house, if the curtains were anything to go by. Trying not to move his aching neck, he tried to shift his legs, only to find them pinned. By a body. A body with blond hair.

Oh God. He hadn't done anything stupid the night before, had he? He wouldn't have drunk that much, right? It was Christmas, he'd have been respectful. And besides, he wasn't waking up to a hell of a hangover. So he should remember the night before.

Okay, he was sitting on someone's couch with someone between his legs. Who the hell was she? He couldn't have been desperate enough to pick up a random girl on Christmas night, he knew that much. Oh God, then it was someone he knew. Oh hell. Who?

_Just tell me it's not that damned ADA_, he thought with a groan.

The person between his legs stirred and turned in his arms. "Scotty?"

He recognized the voice, and his heart nearly stopped. Oh no…Hell, he hadn't gotten so drunk he'd stumbled into Lil's house and made a fool of himself, had he? He hadn't _touched_ her or anything, had he? God Almighty!

"Lil?" he said carefully, when he'd found his voice. "What am I…? What're you…?"

She seemed to get what he was asking. "What? We were watching TV last night, weren't we? And we fell asleep, I guess."

She wasn't freaking out. Why the hell not?

And then it all hit him. Everything that had happened the day before came rushing back, from her kiss to the amazing day they'd spent together, probably the best day of his life. She'd returned his feelings. She'd kissed him. Hell, they'd even gone to visit his family together, and she'd gotten along with all of them.

Could life possibly get any better?

"You're happy," Lilly said matter-of-factly.

Grinning like a madman, he wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Hell yeah, I'm happy. What? You ain't?"

Lilly leaned into him. "How could you even think that?" With a yawn, she stretched between his legs and turned slightly so that she was half-facing him. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For one of the first good nights of sleep I've had all week."

He heard the true gratitude in her voice, which made him feel absurdly proud of himself. "I did it for me," he said offhandedly.

Lilly smiled. "Oh? What do you mean?"

"I couldn't take it anymore," he teased. "If I saw you walkin' around like a zombie for another day, I'd probably knock you out myself and tie you down in your bed."

She laughed and leaned forward to turn off the TV. "So what's on the menu this morning?"

"How 'bout a kiss?" Scotty leaned in before she could answer and pressed his lips on hers. He relished the feeling of it and the fact that he could do this any time he wanted for as long as he wanted for all of the conceivable future. Yeah, life was good. Better than good. Friggin' fantastic.

Scotty's traitorous stomach ended the kiss way too soon, and Lilly laughed against his lips. "What's for breakfast?" she repeated.

"Eggs," Scotty murmured, kissing her head. "Where's the pan from yesterday?"

"Eggs? I don't have eggs."

"I thought ahead," Scotty told her. "Bought some when I bought the stuff for pancakes. They're in the fridge."

"Oh." Lilly stretched her legs and stood. Scotty automatically reached a hand out to bring her back into his embrace, but his growling stomach protested. So he followed her to the kitchen and waited for her to rustle through her cabinets for a pan. But instead of a pan, she came up with a can opener.

She caught the confused look on his face and laughed. "Cats before boyfriends, you know."

Almost smugly, the two animals in question made their way past him and waited patiently as Lilly cranked open two cans of cat food.

"I'm your boyfriend," Scotty complained, trying not to grin at her use of the word 'boyfriend.'

"They've been with me longer," Lilly argued, chuckling. "And they won't leave me."

He felt a sharp sting in her words. _They_ wouldn't leave her? So subconsciously, she was already assuming he would? A slow anger started up in him, anger at the people who had left her enough times to create that sort of mindset.

"I ain't goin' anywhere either," Scotty promised her, hoping she could hear how serious he was.

She smiled at him, and he didn't have to scrutinize her to catch the sadness in it. "Don't say that."

"I ain't gonna leave you," Scotty said adamantly. "I swear."

"Don't say that," she repeated, more firmly this time.

"I'll say it 'til you believe it," he told her stubbornly.

Sighing, Lilly just shook her head resignedly and finished feeding her cats. Silently, she found the pan and handed it to him. Painfully aware of the uncomfortable silence, Scotty took the pan and rustled up some eggs quickly. By the time he'd finished, they seemed to reach an unspoken agreement not to talk about anyone leaving. Falling back into companionable conversation, they shared breakfast at the dining table, getting into something of a fork-fight halfway through since Scotty kept leaning over to steal Lilly's eggs.

Eventually, they finished eating and laid down their forks. Neither of them moved from the table, however, content to just sit together.

"Snowed hard last night," Lilly remarked suddenly, staring out the window.

The image of Lilly knee-deep in a snow drift hurling a snowball struck him suddenly, and he didn't bother to hide his wide grin.

"What're you smiling about?" Lilly asked suspiciously.

_Be suspicious,_ Scotty thought, grinning broadly. _You ain't gettin' outta this. _

"C'mon," he said, standing. "Get your coat on."

Confused, she followed him quickly. "What? Why?"

"Follow me when you're ready," Scotty called to her, shoving on his own coat and gloves and bounding out the door. The air was fresh and crisp, and the snow was freshly fallen and still pristinely white. A perfect day for a romp in the snow.

He leaned down and scooped up a handful of snow, carefully shaping it into a ball. A mischievous grin crossed his face at the thought of Lilly's reaction. Oh, he wished he had a camera. He'd probably have the laugh of a lifetime.

The door swung open, and Scotty pressed himself close to the wall, watching Lilly walk past him unwittingly.

"Scotty?" she called, clearly confused.

The snowball caught her in the back, landing with a _thump_ and a shower of snow. Scotty couldn't hold back the snickers as Lilly turned, her expression shocked beyond shocked.

"Priceless," he gasped as she stared at him. "Just priceless…"

For a long moment, she didn't seem to comprehend what he'd done. Her eyes went from the snow to him, then back to the snow. Slowly, realization dawned in her expression. The sudden gleam in her eyes should've warned him, but he was too busy laughing like an idiot to notice. And then, almost faster than he could catch, she scooped up some snow, rounded it, and hurled it at him.

It hit with a wet _splat_ and slid down the side of his face as he stared at Lilly in complete disbelief. No way…no _way. _Had Lilly Rush really just fired a snowball at him? Had Lilly Rush really just _hit_ him, hard, in the face?

His incredulous expression had her laughing out loud. "Just 'cause I had a bad childhood doesn't mean I can't throw a snowball, Valens."

A grin slowly spread across his face. "No, I guess not." He snatched up another handful of snow and launched it at her. She dodged with a laugh and fired one back, clipping his arm.

"What's with your aim, Valens?" Lilly teased, skipping back out of the way of his next shot. "Are you eyes closed?"

"Perfectly open, Lil," Scotty growled, grinning triumphantly when his follow-up snowball struck her square in the chest. They scrambled simultaneously for more ammo, and it became a race of who could form a snowball and shoot it off fastest. Scotty let out a yell as Lilly pelted him with impeccable aim and threw out a hand to defend himself from the barrage.

"Where the hell did you learn to aim like that?" he demanded, ducking behind a trash can.

"Around," Lilly answered evasively, continuing to chuck snowballs at his cover.

After another moment of taking fire, he decided he wasn't going to win anything trying to out throw her, so the next time she paused to gather some more snow, Scotty broke cover and charged. Ignoring her protesting cries, he grabbed her around the waist, fully intending to sling her over his shoulder and make her beg for mercy. Her weight unbalanced him, however, and they went tumbling into the snow drift in an explosion of powder.

"Scotty!" Lilly screamed as he grabbed a handful of snow and rubbed it mercilessly into her face. He laughed gleefully and continued to smother her in snow until she threw up her hands in surrender and dissolved into helpless gales of laughter.

"Mercy!" she gasped, trying to push him off her. "Mercy!"

Pinning her down between his legs, he held up a handful of snow, arm cocked back to throw. "What'd you say?"

"Mercy!"

He cocked his head, suppressing a grin. "What? Didn't hear you there."

"Mercy, you ruthless idiot!" Lilly laughed, hitting his legs. "Get off me!"

Laughing breathlessly, Scotty rolled to the side and sat in the snow next to her, trying to catch his breath. For a long moment, they just sat (or he sat and Lilly laid in the snow) in content silence, the only sounds of the cold morning their quiet breaths.

"That was fun," Scotty said eventually, rolling some snow between his gloves.

Lilly nodded. "That was. Thanks."

Scotty turned to look down at her. "But, seriously, where the hell did you learn to throw like that? You were ruthless!"

She sat and wrapped her arms loosely around her knees. "Chris and I didn't have much to do, so in the winter, we had a lot of snowball fights. Sometimes with some of the guys from school. It was fun." She turned and tried to glare at him. "You play dirty."

"But I beat you," he said, smiling widely. "Probably the first time I beat you in anythin'."

"Cheater," she muttered, reaching up to rub some snow into his hair. She laughed and he frowned when his hair stuck up in all different directions.

They started attracting curious stares from passerby so Scotty pulled Lilly to her feet, and they took a short walk up the block and back, brushing all the snow off their clothes as they went. After a moment of hesitation, Scotty reached out and took Lilly's hand.

"Feels like we're a normal couple," Lilly remarked, eyeing their clasped hands.

"We are," Scotty answered. "Nothin' abnormal 'bout us."

"Besides the fact that we're partners and this is probably breaking a hundred office regulations."

He grinned. "You know, besides that."

Lilly opened her mouth, but at that moment, her phone rang. Slipping her hand out of his, she patted her pockets and finally found it in her coat.

"Hello?" Instantly, her expression sobered up, and Scotty knew that it had something to do with the case. She listened intently for a few seconds. "You sure, Boss? You want us to come in?"

_Us?_ Scotty mouthed to her, barely concealing his smile.

Lilly's eyes widened. "Oh, no, I meant me. You want _me_ to come in?"

Despite the fact that whatever the phone call was about probably wasn't good, Scotty couldn't help but grin at Lilly's slip-up. He listened in amusement as Lilly assured Stillman that there was no one with her and that it wouldn't interrupt any plans she had to come in for a couple of hours.

"Yeah, I can be there in twenty minutes," Lilly said. "Just got to get ready and stuff. No, it's no problem. Yeah, sure I'll call Scotty. I'll let him know. Thanks. Bye, Boss."

'"I'll call Scotty?'" he teased, leaning into her.

"What?" Lilly retorted. "We don't want him finding out about us. We don't want _anyone_ finding out about us. Anyway, do you want to hear the news or what?"

He sobered up instantly. "Tell me they got Tucker."

She shook her head, her expression grim. "They got a lead on him, found him in a motel room almost out of the city. Sent local police at him first, but he had a gun."

"Anyone hurt?" Scotty asked.

Lilly nodded. "A couple of patrol officers were wounded, and Tucker got away."

He clenched a gloved fist. "Damn it. So we got nothin'?"

"We have the statements of the officers who tried to apprehend him," Lilly answered. She started to walk back to her house, her footsteps crunching in the snow. "One of them is awake, so Boss said we can go talk to him."

"What the hell are White and Rizzo doin'?" Scotty demanded, hurrying beside her. "Damn fools want all the credit for the case when they ain't doin' a thing. They haven't been useful since the case opened, and they sure as hell ain't helpin' to close it."

Lilly gave him a placating smile. "They're young. They'll get over it. We were probably like that once."

Well, he couldn't argue. He _had_ been like that as a younger cop, always burning for the honor of solving his own case and getting territorial when someone else tried to take the reins. Only now, only since he'd been changed by the Cold Case squad, was he beginning to realize how mind-bogglingly stupid that had been.

"So where're we headed?" he groused as Lilly ducked inside to grab her keys.

"Hospital," Lilly answered. "Officer Jon Romano, shot in the arm. It isn't too bad, so he'll be able to give us details on what happened."

"Great." He'd seldom been more ready for a case to be closed.

They reached the hospital without much delay, and a quick question to the receptionist pointed them in the right direction. They rode up the elevator in brooding silence and stepped out to find a uniformed officer outside of Room 213.

"Hi," Lilly said, flashing her badge. "Detectives Rush, Valens."

"Kyle Derrick," the uniformed officer returned. "You here to ask Jon some questions?"

Scotty nodded. "Yeah, he awake?"

"Yeah, he's been awake for a while now." Derrick turned and opened the door. "Jon? Yeah, some detectives are here to see you, man."

"Let 'em in," someone called from inside, and Derrick obligingly held the door open for the two of them to enter.

The officer lying in the hospital bed was young, younger than Scotty at least, with short brown hair and the general look of newness on his face. He couldn't have been a cop for very long. His left arm was in bandages and a sling. Otherwise, he looked fine.

"Hi, Officer Romano," Lilly said, giving him her friendly smile. "I'm Detective Lilly Rush and this is my partner, Scotty Valens. We're here to talk about what happened with Tucker Quincy."

He nodded. "Yeah, what do you need to know?"

Scotty dragged up two of the hospital chairs, and they sat.

"Just talk us through what happened," Lilly suggested.

Romano leaned his head back, blinking at the ceiling. "Well, my partner Tommy and I got a call about a guy hiding out in the Dawson Motel who was running from the police. We were the closest to the location, so we drove up there and found out what room he was staying in. Only, they didn't warn us that he was armed. He opened the door and let loose a bunch of shots. Hit me in the arm, and hit Tommy in the gut. We both went down, but he didn't run exactly."

"What'd he do?" Scotty asked.

"He went back into the room—we're lying in the doorway—and started packing up his things. Had a duffel bag. He stuffed his gun in his pocket. The guy was a lunatic. He was muttering stuff under his breath, and his eyes—man, they were wild. Crazy eyes."

Lilly exchanged a glance with Scotty. "Could you hear what he was saying?"

Romano shrugged. "Something about how he couldn't leave it alone, how he couldn't leave his family."

Scotty raised an eyebrow. "Family? Does he have family here?" He thought back to the file he'd read on Quincy and couldn't seem to remember any relations living in the area.

"I don't think so," Lilly said slowly. "All the family he has are dead, buried in the Laurel Hill Cemetery."

Scotty looked at her sharply. "It's a place. You think he'll try goin' there?"

Lilly shrugged. "He said he would. It would make sense, I guess, if he doesn't want to leave without saying goodbye first. Sentimental type."

"It's the best we got," Scotty said. Standing, he said to Romano, "We got what we need. Anythin' else you wanna add?"

The young officer shook his head. "Just catch the guy, will ya?"

"Hoping to," Lilly said, nodding to him. "Get better."

Slipping on their gloves, they left the hospital.

* * *

Lilly relayed the information to Stillman, who said he'd pass it on to White and Rizzo. Since she let Scotty drive, they arrived at the cemetery far sooner than she'd expected. It was quiet and snow gleamed prettily in the rising sunlight. No one was in sight.

"If it's family he wants to see," Lilly said, stepping out of the car, "he's got to show up here sometime. Boss gave me some background info on his family. Mother and father died in a car crash when Tucker was twenty-two. Sister died of a tumble down the stairs in 2003. Bad luck, this family. They were all buried next to each other in Laurel Hill."

"Damn case won't close," Scotty grumbled, stepping out into the snow. "Can't wait 'til we catch this guy."

"Believe me," Lilly said wearily, "I want it over with too."

Hands in pockets, they walked quietly to the plots of Tucker Quincy's family. Eventually, they found the three headstones lying next to each other, each inscribed with a different quote.

'"To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die,"' Scotty read. "George Quincy."

Lilly studied the mother's headstone. '"Those we love don't go away, they live beside us everyday.'"

"Nice sentiments," Scotty remarked quietly.

Lilly nodded. "Kind of makes me feel bad for not putting anything on my mom's grave." She shook her head. "Just a name and date."

Scotty looked at her in surprise for a moment before wordlessly reaching out a hand and laying it on her shoulder. She leaned into his touch, glad for the company.

A voice broke through their shared silence. "What are you two doing here?"

They turned to find Detectives White and Rizzo striding through the snow to them. White looked annoyed, Rizzo carefully composed. Lilly sighed, almost certain that she was going to have a headache by the time the confrontation was over.

"We thought we might see if Tucker Quincy showed up," Lilly answered evenly, noticing how Scotty's jaw clenched.

White scowled. "This is—"

"Your case," Lilly finished, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, we understand."

"Then you understand if we tell you to go home," White said harshly. "We don't need help."

"Seein' as you already lost him once," Scotty muttered, teeth clenched.

White clenched his fists. "What did you say?"

Sensing the potential disaster, Lilly stepped forward a little to block Scotty and put a restraining hand on his wrist.

"We want to catch Tucker just as much as you do," she said firmly. _Probably more so._ "So let's not fight."

"Rich," Rizzo said warningly, sending his partner a meaningful look.

"I don't want them interfering," White growled, not tearing his eyes from Scotty's. Lilly had no idea who would win in a fight between the two of them, but she was willing to bet that neither would stop until the other was unconscious or dead. Common sense told her to back off, so she did.

"Come on, Scotty," she said, locking eyes with White. "Let's go. If they find anything, they'll let us know. Right?"

The muscles of her partner's forearm tensed beneath her hand. "Lil…"

"We got other leads to follow up on anyway," she improvised, so it wouldn't seem like they were just accepting defeat. "Boss wants us back."

"Other leads?" White said in sudden interest. "What other leads?"

A flash of realization shot across Scotty's face. Had he seen that the biggest victory to be had here was to pretend that they had information and to withhold it? Apparently he had, because his face melted back into that cocky smirk of his, and he said, "Yeah, you're right, Lil. We got more important things to look at."

Lilly bit back the sigh of relief. Instead, she affected a cool demeanor as she gripped Scotty's sleeve and led him off toward their car. She felt White's glare boring into her back the whole way.

"Bastard," Scotty muttered, slamming the car door.

"Relax," Lilly said. "They'll let us know if they get him. Meanwhile, all we can do is head home and wait."

"And what're we supposed to do?" Scotty demanded. "Sit and twiddle our thumbs?"

Well, why not? If she could do it with Scotty, she didn't care what they did. She remembered how warm and cozy Scotty's embrace had been the night before and smiled. "Maybe we could watch some TV?"

A slow smile grew across his face as he remembered the same thing. "Yeah, that'd be nice. Let's go."

* * *

It was eleven o'clock when Lilly woke, her head on Scotty's shoulder, the TV still playing quietly. The sun had set long ago, and she felt lethargic. All she wanted to do was curl back up next to Scotty and get some more blessed sleep, but a look at him stopped her. He snored lightly on her couch, his head thrown back, the stubble on his chin all too clear even in the dim light. His clothes were rumpled and his hair messy. When was the last time he'd gone home? She felt guilty for keeping him so long.

Somewhere during her thoughts, Scotty had jolted awake. He opened his eyes and grinned widely when he spotted her.

"What's up?" he said blearily. "What time is it?"

"Eleven ten," Lilly replied, propping up her head with her hand, her elbow anchored on the back of the couch. She smiled tiredly and said, "I figured you'd want to get home before it gets any later."

He looked at her, clearly confused. "You want me to go?"

"No," she assured him quickly, "of course not. It's just that you haven't been home in two days. You need to shower and get a change of clothes and all that."

Scotty looked down at his old t-shirt and jeans and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, that's a good idea." He stifled a yawn and stretched his arms. "So I'll get goin' now. You okay here?"

She smiled. He cared almost too much. "Of course. Get going."

"Yeah." He rose and collected his coat from the hanger and his gloves from the coffee table. "I'll, uh…I'll see you tomorrow?"

Lilly nodded. "That'd be nice."

"I have to drop by my dad's," he told her. "Might take a while. We're plannin' the New Year's party."

"New Year's party?" Lilly repeated.

He nodded. "Yeah, all the family's stayin' up at my dad's 'til New Year's is over. I'll probably have to hang around and help out 'til that's over with."

She shrugged. "No problem. You stay with your family tomorrow."

Scotty paused in the doorway, his eyebrow raised. "You sure? 'Cause I can spend all the time with you that you want. No problem."

Lilly smiled and shook her head. "Nah. You already spent Christmas and the day after with me. What more can I ask for? Take the day with your family. I promise I'll be fine."

He nodded, but his expression was a little dubious. "Sure, whatever you say. But you need anythin', I'll have my phone on."

She was touched by how much he cared for her. No one had ever made her feel so…wanted. She felt a swell of happiness; how could she have been so lucky as to snag a guy like him?

"Yeah, I'll call if I need anything," Lilly assured him. "Now get going before it gets too late."

She watched him from her doorway as he got into his car and rolled down his window.

"'Night, Lil!" he shouted, waving.

Grinning, Lilly waved back. "'Night, Scotty." And then, as an afterthought, she added, "Drive the speed limit, would ya?"

He just shook his head, but she saw him chuckle. And then he pulled off down the street, and she went back inside to the warmth and to her cats.


	15. Chapter 15

I'm so sorry for the delay in updates! It's just that school has started, and between the workload there and other things in my life, I've been a little busy. Don't worry, though, I'll definitely finish this story. This chapter's extra long for you guys. The action picks up too, so I hope you enjoy!

**As always, leave a review!**

**Disclaimer: Fill-in-the-blank disclaimer. Something to the effect of me not being the owner of Cold Case. **

* * *

FIFTEEN

The night passed by slowly and, thankfully, uneventfully. Lilly woke at seven and couldn't get back to sleep, so she just made herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen and curled up on the couch with Olivia and Tripod. It was…surprisingly lonely.

She sighed. Only two days, and she'd already gotten used to having Scotty sitting by her on the couch, his arm around her shoulders and his feet propped up on the coffee table. A couple of months ago, it might have appalled her how quickly she'd become so dependent on someone else. But things were different now. For one thing, _she_ was different. Striving for happiness. So far, successful with it. And for another thing, this was _Scotty_ she was becoming dependent on, not just any guy. And if there was anyone in the world she could trust without hesitation, it was him.

With a yawn, she wandered aimlessly through the house, nearly bored to tears. She fed the cats, brushed them twice, and sorted through some mail. She made herself another cup of coffee and downed that one just as quickly as the first. She tried to flip through a couple of channels on the TV but found herself unable to concentrate fully. Instead, her mind was, as it always seemed to be these days, on Scotty.

What was he doing? It was nearly nine now, so he must have been awake. She wondered if he was a morning person. By the way he came into the office bright and early every morning, he certainly seemed like one. Maybe he was in his kitchen at the moment, fixing himself some breakfast. Pancakes? Nah, they'd eaten them twice already. He was probably tired of them. Maybe some eggs like he'd made the morning before, and orange juice. Then he'd get into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take a shower—

Lilly jerked her mind away from thoughts of showering as the unbidden image of Scotty bare-riffed and lathering soap in his dark hair popped into her head. Good thing he wasn't here, or else he'd spot the scarlet blush spreading rapidly across her face and she'd be twice as embarrassed.

She sighed. There was no use in just sitting there; her rebel of a mind would just settle on Scotty and dangerous thoughts. Maybe less dangerous now that she and Scotty were something of an item, but dangerous nonetheless.

Her eyes landed on the case files tucked under a couple of books on her coffee table. That feeling nagged at her again, so she reached forward and opened up the files.

She scanned the pages without much enthusiasm. They were missing something, sure, but she didn't have much of an idea what, and she didn't quite know where to start.

Pam should have been home when Tucker dropped by the Valens household. Enrique and their son should have been out. So it was Pam alone, which would have been perfect for a visit from her lover Tucker. But the problem was, he'd come with a gun. Why? Had she wanted something from him she shouldn't have? Had she done something to him? But none of it made any sense. Tucker didn't have anything to gain from Pam's death. Enrique's death, sure, but he wouldn't have known Enrique would be home.

Lilly turned a page and spotted a note in Stillman's quick, neat script.

_Tucker Quincy, restraining orders '05, '06. _

Restraining orders. For stalking, Scotty had said. It wasn't much, but it was something. Lilly dug her cell phone out of her coat and punched in a number.

He answered on the second ring. "Lil?"

Lilly cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder and set aside two folders she didn't need. "Yeah, Boss. I was just looking at the case files for Scotty's cousin, and I wanted to know some more about the restraining orders taken out against Tucker Quincy."

"You're still working, Lil?" Stillman's voice carried a clear note of disapproval.

"It's after Christmas," Lilly reminded him, grinning a little. "I took the week off—some of it, anyway."

She heard Stillman sigh heavily through the phone. "I thought White and Rizzo were going after Quincy."

"I know. I just wanted to look into his background a bit, maybe figure out where he's going next since they didn't pick him up at Laurel Hill."

Another sigh. "Alright, fine. Hang on. I'll get to my computer and pull the information up."

Lilly fetched herself some more coffee from the kitchen as she waited, and eventually, Stillman's voice came back through.

"I've pulled up Tucker Quincy's profile. No criminal arrests, but he had two restraining orders taken out against him, one in 2005 and the other in 2006. Both against two women, one Audrey Johnson and another Tara Eden, for stalking. He called their houses, waited for them on their doorsteps, shadowed them to places they went…Both women were approached by him, not the other way around. His relationship with Audrey lasted two months, and the one with Tara lasted six."

Lilly bit her lip in concentration as she scribbled notes into the margins of Tucker Quincy's profile page. "Okay, Boss. Was there anything specific about those two he was targeting? Like jobs, places he met them, something like that?"

She heard the keyboard clacking as Stillman pulled up whatever information he needed. "No…" he said after a moment. "Nothing on where they worked, and he apparently met them in different places. The only thing I see is that they resemble each other. Blond hair, tall, pretty type."

Lilly sat up straight. Maybe…? "Boss…"

Apparently Stillman was thinking along the same lines. His voice sharpened. "Lil, you think this guy's a serial type of guy? Goes after the same type of girl?"

"Or he just likes blondes," Lilly muttered, flipping through her papers. "But if he _is_ going after blondes specifically, there must be a reason. Serial killers have a fixation of some sort, so they choose their victims carefully. Maybe Tucker's the same, but not as extreme. At least, he hasn't killed anyone yet."

"So he's got some figure in his life who's blond, tall, pretty-looking, and he's fixating over her?" Stillman summarized.

"But his profile mentioned he didn't make many friends in his old neighborhood. A family type of guy, really. Never hung around with anyone else."

"Secret lover?"

Lilly nodded, feeling the growing sense of excitement that accompanied a discovery. "So he goes after Audrey and Tara, connecting them to his mystery person because of physical resemblance. He gets too close, they're driven away. They get restraining orders against him. Then he moves to Philly and goes after Pam."

"Pamela _does_ fit the type he's going after," Stillman agreed. "Only one thing: Tara lives in Philly, which means he's been here in Philly for over two years."

"So he lied to us about that," Lilly mused. "Said he'd only been here two years. To throw suspicion off himself? Thought maybe we wouldn't connect him to the restraining orders?"

They sat in silence for a moment, turning the new information over in their minds. Finally, she heard rustling from Stillman's end of the line, like he was standing up.

"It's good information, Lil. But it isn't enough to find him yet. We might have his motive for going after Pam, but we still don't know where he is or why he brought the gun to the house."

Lilly sighed. "I know. Thanks for the info, Boss."

"No problem, Lil. Now do me a favor and put the case files away."

"Boss—"

"No buts. I don't care if it's past Christmas already, I want you resting. I've seen those circles under your eyes. I doubt you've been getting an hour of sleep all week."

She wanted to argue. She was fine, and she didn't need rest, not really. Not after she'd slept fine for the past two nights. But by the steel in Stillman's tone, he wasn't going to back down on this one. So she sighed. "Fine, Boss. When can I come back to work?"

He sighed, and she imagined him taking off his glasses and shaking his head in exasperation. "You let me worry about that, Lil. Just get some rest."

Deciding not to push the point, Lilly said goodbye and hung up. Well, at least she'd found out why Tucker was 'in love with' Pam. He had to have a lover or girlfriend or maybe even some girl he'd never talked to but admired from afar. Someone who was forbidden to him, or didn't love him the way he wanted, and he was connecting with women who shared physical resemblance to his true love.

A thought struck her. Obviously, Tucker was deluded and dangerous in his delusions. If he believed that Pam and he were in love, was it possible that he'd dreamed up the idea of an affair as well? Maybe…maybe Pam had acted so innocent because she _had_ been innocent?

She considered calling Scotty to tell him what she'd found. She was already reaching for the phone before she stopped herself. He was spending quality time with his family, probably. Maybe laughing with his nieces, horsing around with his nephews, or talking in that rapid-fire Spanish of his to his parents. She didn't have any right to intrude on that, not until she had something more definitive at least. Still, she was reluctant to set down the phone; it would have been nice to at least hear his voice.

Lilly burned another hour alternating from drinking coffee to playing with the cats to taking a short, brisk walk up and down her block. Finally, she came back to her house, red-faced and panting from the cold. It seemed like hardly any time had passed by. A day had never felt longer.

When her phone cut through the deafening silence, Lilly jumped for it. Anything to distract her thoughts from wandering in Scotty's direction.

"Hello?" she said, almost breathlessly.

"Lil?"

She started in surprise. "Scotty?"

"Yeah, just wanted to call and see how you were doin'."

See how she was doing? It was noon. He really didn't think she'd gotten into something in the space of the morning? Still, Lilly couldn't help a wry smile. "Scotty, I can take care of myself. Have been for a long time."

"Can't stop me from askin'," he replied. "I wanted to—"

A scream cut through his words, and Lilly jumped in alarm. "Scotty!" Something couldn't have gone wrong, could it have? He was okay, wasn't he?

She heard him grunting and rustling and…_laughing?_

"Scotty?" she repeated, confused. "You okay?"

There was a long silence before he groaned and laughed. "It's nothin'. I'm playin' some football with the kids, and I just got tackled a good one."

"Oh." Lilly smiled widely at the thought of Scotty being swarmed by a pack of howling kids. "Having fun?"

"Oh, tons."

He groaned again, and Lilly couldn't help teasing, "You okay there, Scotty? Those kids really wearing you down, huh?"

"No way, I'm good. What're you doin'?"

"Uh, nothing. Playing with the cats."

He chuckled. "Did you eat breakfast?"

"What are you, my mother?" Lilly asked, but she grinned. "Yeah, I had a bunch of coffee."

"Any real food?"

Lilly rolled her eyes. "No. My chef isn't in."

"Oh?" She could hear the amusement heavy in his voice. "Where's he at?"

"Family business," she answered. "I wonder how long it'll take him."

He was smiling, she could tell. "Oh, I don't know how long it'll take him."

"Oh." Lilly couldn't pretend she wasn't disappointed. Look at that, not even half a week into a relationship with Scotty and she was already craving his touch and missing everything about him. Most of her rebelled against dependency; she hadn't relied on anyone since her mother, and look what that had gotten her—pain, misery, a run to the convenience store at two in the morning because her mother couldn't stand another hour without some vodka in her. But another part of her wanted to believe that this was it, this was what she had been waiting for, what she needed. This was someone she could rely on without hesitation, someone who'd be there for her when she needed him, no matter what.

"Lil?"

She started from her thoughts. "Oh, yeah, Scotty?"

"You okay?"

"Fine. Stop asking me that." She injected some amusement into her tone to keep from sounding too defensive, but she was sure he heard it anyway.

"Fine," he said. "Just wanted to tell you I don't know how long this'll take, but I'm sure of somethin'."

"What's that?"

"That your chef will be back in time to cook you breakfast tomorrow. What d'you want?"

Lilly grinned widely. How could such little promises put such a wide smile on her face?

"Anything," she answered happily, flopping back to lie on her couch. After a moment of hesitation, she added, "You want to come over tonight?"

"To watch some TV? Or…more?" He sounded hopeful, like a kid asking for candy. Although the situations weren't quite comparable…

Was she ready to do something _more_ with him? Probably. Definitely. She'd been ready practically since he'd kissed her in the diner. But it all depended on how the night progressed, didn't it?

"Maybe," she said at last. "We'll see."

"Okay." He sounded happy, which counted for something. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Bye."

Lilly flipped the phone shut and sat up. Now that she knew Scotty was coming back for the night, the minutes seemed to tick by even more slowly. With a sigh, she made up her mind and dug her phonebook out from under a pile of old case files in the corner of the room.

Tara Eden…Tara Eden…

There. Lilly drew her finger down the page to the name and located the address. Perfect. It was only thirty minutes away, tops. She could drive there, interview Tara, and be back before dinner. If it turned out to be a valuable lead, they could find Tucker and close this case once and for all. If it didn't…well, at least she would have burned some hours efficiently instead of sitting at home gulping coffee and staring at the clock.

Murmuring a quick goodbye to the cats, she donned her coat, grabbed her phone and keys, and stepped out into the bright, snowy streets.

* * *

He drew in a quiet breath, trying to ignore the stitch in his side. Damn police. Was there any place in Philly that wasn't infested with them? He ducked into an alleyway and behind a trash can to catch his breath.

How had it all gone so wrong? One day he was getting friendly with Pam, and he was so sure she was falling for him, so damn _sure_, and the next, Pam was denying any feelings for him and he was getting hunted by police all over the city. What a damn bad way to end the year. And he'd been doing so well too…

He tucked his hands under his armpits to keep warm and sighed. He should've gotten the hint by now that his romances—if that's what they could be called—would always end in failure. First Audrey…then Tara…and now Pam. Why didn't they love him? Wasn't he good enough? Of course he was. He loved them, and that was what counted. He'd always been good enough. It was just that they were too damn stupid to see it.

No matter, no matter. Before the day was out, it would be over, all his pain, all his misery, everything. Either _they_ would win or he would. Probably the second one, he mused with a sardonic grin. After all, he was the one with the gun.

He closed his eyes and thought about _her._ Blond-haired, blue-eyed, gorgeous. She'd been so beautiful. So beautiful. He'd loved her like he'd never loved anybody before or since. But she hadn't returned his feelings. Why? _Why?_ He'd been kind and patient and he'd loved her the way she deserved. So why hadn't she seen how good of a man he was?

He shook his head and banished the thoughts. No use thinking on the past now. Today, he was in love with another girl, and he would make her see it if he had to tie her down to a chair and force her to listen. He would not be pushed away this time.

On the street, the patrol car pulled slowly away from the curb, apparently done with waiting. Within moments, it was around the corner and out of sight. He was safe, for the moment.

Quietly, nonchalantly, Tucker slunk out of his hiding place and slipped into the crowds on the street. He slipped his hands in his pockets and walked with his shoulder hunched to keep people from seeing his face. He had a mission today, and he couldn't get caught until he finished it. No, he couldn't get caught, period.

Standing on the edge of the street, he hailed a cab and gave the driver the address. In the car, he sat silently, answering with noncommittal grunts when the driver tried to start up a conversation. He breathed deeply and tried to keep himself calm, but it was proving impossible. His heart thudded solidly in his chest, and his hands would not keep still. His lips were dry and he couldn't quite concentrate on the scenery flashing by. He didn't think he'd ever felt so unsettled in his life.

What if she wasn't there? What if she'd gone somewhere, supermarket or something? Maybe he'd just wait for her to show up. Yes, that's what he'd do. And if she wouldn't come with him at first, he'd just have to force her.

_And that cop? _his mind demanded. _What if that cop's there? _

_Shoot him._ He'd shoot him. He'd shoot anyone who got in the way. It was as simple as that.

"Sir? Sir?"

He jerked into awareness and realized they'd stopped. The cabbie stared at him strangely. Probably wondering why his passenger looked so nervous. _You're better off not knowing,_ Tucker thought.

"Here," he muttered, shoving some money at the cabbie. He opened the door and stepped out quickly, feeling acutely the butt of the gun pressing against his lower back. He waited until the cab pulled off before heading down the walkway toward the house. Taking slow, measured steps, he advanced up the dirt path, taking deep breaths. Somehow, inexplicably, as he drew nearer to the act, he felt calmer, more at peace. He didn't care why, as long as it gave him the strength he needed.

Three o'clock.

He drew his gun.

* * *

The house was large and fancy, just the kind of house Lilly had dreamed of when she was a little girl. It was two-storied and white, looking like a palace in the fresh snow. Bushes that would no doubt grow flowers in the spring adorned the paved walkway up to the door. No one was in sight.

Lilly reached out a gloved hand and knocked solidly on the door. Her breath steamed out in white plumes, and she stamped her feet a couple of times against the cold.

_Let her be home,_ she thought, wishing she'd worn a thicker coat. It seemed to have gotten even colder in Philly since Christmas, and it had snowed a couple of more times too. She thought of snowball fights and grinned.

The door opened, and Lilly put on a friendly smile. The woman in the doorway spoke curtly before Lilly could even get a word in.

"I'm telling you now, I don't want to buy anything. Also, if you're here preaching about something, I don't want to hear it either."

Lilly flashed her badge. "Good thing I'm not here for that then. Detective Lilly Rush, Philly Homicide."

The woman's eyes widened, though her expression remained composed. "Who…who died?"

"No one yet," Lilly answered. "This case is a little complicated. I'm here to talk to you about Tucker Quincy."

Lilly noted how the woman stiffened visibly at the name. "Tucker Quincy? I…" The woman raised a hand to nervously brush some hair from her face. The impatient edge to her voice had disappeared. "That's a name I haven't heard in a very long time."

"You're Tara Eden then?"

The woman hesitated a moment before nodding. "Come inside, Detective."

Lilly followed her in, glad for the warmth pervading the house. Tara continued into the living room, where the fireplace was going strong, sending out waves of heat. Taking out her notepad, Lilly took a seat across from Tara in a plush armchair.

"So," Tara said, crossing her legs in a perfect picture of a wealthy woman, "tell me what's happened."

"Tucker is on the run from the police," Lilly told her. "He shot a man the week before Christmas, and he shot two police officers yesterday."

"Oh my God." Tara stared at her in disbelief. "Are—are you sure? _Tucker?"_

Lilly nodded. "I was hoping you could tell me something about him that would help us find him."

Tara shook her head gently. "I—I don't know," she stammered.

"You were with him for six months," Lilly reminded her. "You must remember something."

"I was young," Tara said, sighing. "And stupid back then. I don't remember much about him, other than he was nice, and I thought I was in love for a little while. I met him at a—diner. He bought me breakfast." She smiled a little at the memory, her eyes far away. "He was…very charming. I was taken in by him. God knows why." She sighed and put a hand to her forehead.

"Your thoughts on him changed?" Lilly guessed.

Tara nodded. "We'd been together for about three months. I noticed Tucker was a little possessive, but that summer, I realized just how jealous he got. We were at a bar together, and Tuck left for a couple of minutes to get me a drink. While he was gone, a guy came up to me, started talking. He was nice, and he wasn't inappropriate or anything. But Tuck got so mad. He punched the guy straight in the eye without even asking a question, and they got into a big bar fight." She shook her head. "It got pretty bad. The only reason Tuck wasn't sued to hell and back is because my dad got him a great lawyer."

Lilly glanced around the house. Tara was definitely rich. It was no wonder they could afford a lawyer to spring Tucker from what looked like an impossible situation.

"So what happened after that?" Lilly asked, leaning forward. "You stayed with him."

Tara nodded. "I did. I regret it too. Back then, he made me feel…wanted, you know?" She looked at Lilly in confirmation.

Oh, yeah, she knew. She could honestly say she knew now. She remembered Scotty's warm concern and his fiery temper when White had belittled her, and nodded. "I know."

Tara cleared her throat. "Well, that's why I hung on for another three months or so. But then it just got to be too much. He'd call and demand to know what I was doing, and if he didn't believe me, he'd follow me places. It got way too creepy, so I broke it off with him."

"He wasn't very happy about that," Lilly said, raising an eyebrow. "He kept following you afterwards?"

Nodding slowly, her necklace jangling, Tara nodded. "That's why I got the restraining order against him. He was getting frightening—"

"He threatened you?"

"No, not threatened exactly, but he wouldn't leave me alone. Kept begging for another chance and telling me I'd made a mistake." Tara sighed. "He kept saying he'd let it go twice, but not this time, not this time."

Lilly felt excitement stir in her, and she leaned closer. "Twice? Do you know what he was talking about?"

Tara bit her lip gently, her brow furrowing. "I don't know. I always wondered about that."

"We think he had a similar case before you," Lilly told her. "It seems like he sought out blond, blue-eyed women and became very attached to them. He dated a woman named Audrey Johnson before you, and she also got a restraining order against him."

"Audrey?" Tara repeated, a flicker of recognition sparking in her eyes. "I think…I think I remember hearing that name somewhere. Tuck might have mentioned it in passing once. I asked him about his ex-girlfriends because I was feeling insecure, or something." She scoffed quietly and rolled her eyes. "God, I was such a little girl. Anyway, he mentioned an Audrey. Said she hadn't accepted him like I had."

"Did he mention anyone else?" Lilly asked, her tone sharpening as she sensed revelations. Would this be what she was looking for? "Any other ex-girlfriends?"

Tara thought for a moment before nodding slowly. "I…I remember one other girl. I remembered her in particular because he got this softest look in his eyes when he talked about her. What was her name again? Lora? Lara? Lanie?" She sighed. "It was so long ago. I don't really remember her name. I'm pretty sure her last name was Opal though. I remembered it because it was weird."

Deciding to look it up later, Lilly scribbled down the name. When she was done with that, she asked, "Do you have any idea where he might be now? Anywhere he might hide?"

Tara shook her head quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Was there any place he felt safe maybe? Maybe someplace from his childhood, somewhere with fond memories?" Any of those places would make a good place to search for Tucker, maybe give them at least a clue.

But Tara shook her head. "Tuck never talked much about his childhood. All I knew was that his parents was dead, and he didn't have that great of a childhood. I got the feeling he didn't talk much about his past because it wasn't very happy."

Lilly paused. "He talked to you about his family? In that case, do you know of any relatives in the area? Maybe an aunt, uncle? Someone he was close to?"

Tara's brow furrowed in thought and she shook her head. "No, I thought all his family was dead."

"They are, according to his file," Lilly said, feeling a growing disappointment. Was it always going to be dead end after dead end? Would it end with Tucker Quincy slipping right through their fingers like water?

Tara shifted in her seat and folded her hands in her lap. "Why do you ask?"

Lilly sighed. "Tucker was heard saying that he couldn't leave yet, that he couldn't leave his family. I was wondering if you'd know where he's gone."

Tara paused, her eyes giving off a flicker of understanding, and Lilly pounced on it immediately. "You know something?" At the woman's slow nod, Lilly prompted, "Tell me."

"Well, I don't know if it's much," Tara said slowly, "but Tuck used to say something. He used to say when we were dating that I was his only family and that he'd never leave me. He promised that a lot, even though I never thought he was telling the truth. How can a guy promise to stay with you forever like that, right?"

_Right, _Lilly agreed silently. She remembered Scotty's promise over breakfast and felt a wave of irritation. If only he hadn't said that…If only he hadn't made a promise she knew he couldn't keep. It wasn't anything against him; it was just that she knew he would leave her someday. People left her, and that was that—the way of the world. If only Scotty could see it too.

And then the rest of what Tara had said registered in her mind, and Lilly felt her blood run cold.

Family.

_He used to say when we were dating that I was his only family. _

A snippet of a conversation flashed through her mind, the words hot and chilling with their new significance.

_We're _family._ They're the only family I got._

Suddenly she knew exactly where Tucker Quincy was going, if he wasn't there already. He was going home to his family, or to people he saw as his family. And when he got there…

Snapping her notepad closed, Lilly muttered a quick goodbye and hurried out the door. Fumbling with her keys, she jammed them into the ignition, her heart pounding. The wheels screeched as she raced off down the street.

_Let them be okay, _she thought shakily, clenching the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. _Let me not be too late._

* * *

"Can't we play some more? Please? _Please?"_

Scotty raised a hand to fend off his nephews and shook his head. "Nah," he panted. "I've had enough. You guys go entertain yourselves." He steeled himself against their puppy-eyed whining and ducked inside to grab a drink.

"Really wearing yourself out, aren't you?" Patricia asked with a grin as he brushed past her.

He groaned. "Hell of a mornin'. When did they get so big?"

She laughed. "You getting tired of being tackled? Are they too much for you?"

Scotty scoffed and poured himself a glass of water. "What? C'mon." He took a long swallow and wiped sweat from his brow. "What's goin' on inside?"

"What else?" Patricia returned, grinning widely. "Mike's beating the crap out of everyone else in poker, all the women are knitting and talking, and your mother's chasing your father out of the kitchen for filching snacks."

Scotty grinned. "That never changes." He set the glass aside and went to the living room, where the rest of the family stood and sat crowded, chattering loudly and laughing. His brother crowed his victory from the makeshift poker table amongst half a dozen groaning cousins. His aunts discussed various subjects over their knitting, and his father sat in his plush armchair, nursing a sore spot on his arm where Rosa Valens had no doubt rapped him with her wooden spoon. With a grin, Scotty headed in to join them.

"Scotty," Ramiro greeted, smiling. He patted his son on the arm affectionately. "Where have you been?"

Scotty grinned. "Out back playin' football with the kids."

Ramiro nodded, memories shining in his eyes. "It seems like just yesterday that _I_ was the one playing football with you kids in the back."

"You cheated a lot," Scotty grumbled good-naturedly. "You were bad at football."

Ramiro chuckled. "You remember that? I didn't think you would."

Scotty groaned and lowered himself into the chair next to his father. "Those kids are ridiculously energetic. And they tackle like bulldozers."

Ramiro shook his head, a fond grin creasing his lips. "That's what I said when you were a kid." He sighed and rubbed his hands together. "How time flies, huh? Now I'm a grandfather, and I have a family that's almost too big. So much time has passed…" His eyes turned to focus on his son. "So, Scotty...tell me what's going on with your partner."

At the mention of her, Scotty couldn't keep the happy smile from his face. "Lil? What d'you wanna know?"

His father smiled at his obvious joy. "Something has changed this week, hasn't it?"

Something changed? Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Just a week before, he'd been moping around, thinking he'd completely stomped all over their partnership and trampled to hell the friendship they'd had going strong. He'd been half-terrified she'd run for the hills if he so much as looked at her funny. But now, not only was he _allowed_ to look at her funny, he could draw her into a crushing hug and kiss her 'til they both passed out. There couldn't be a happier man on earth.

"Scotty?"

He realized suddenly that he'd been staring off into space grinning foolishly to himself. Snapping back into reality, he nodded. "Yeah, you could say that. We've both come around."

Ramiro smiled. "That's good. I was worried about you. I want you happy."

Scotty returned his smile. "I ain't ever gonna be happier. She's—she's perfect."

His father raised an eyebrow. "No one's perfect."

Really? Because he'd really changed his perspective on perfection since he'd met Lilly.

"Well, she ain't _perfect,_" he amended. "But she's amazin' and perfect in her own way. She's gorgeous, and she's smart, and she won't take any crap from anyone. She's damn good at her job too. She's the best detective I've ever seen."

Ramiro smiled gently, his eyes twinkling with shared joy. His voice was soft as he asked, "You love her?"

Did he love her? His father had asked this question before, when he'd brought home a couple of girlfriends after Elisa. The question had sent him running for the hills, and he'd never made the mistake of bringing a girl around his parents again. Love? _Love?_ He'd sworn that after Elisa, he'd never love again. It wasn't worth the risk, wasn't worth the pain. But somehow, against his will, it had happened again. He'd gone and fallen stupidly in love with his partner, and, wonder of wonders, she hadn't run. They'd collided like two comets in the sky, clumsily, with so many sparks, and somehow, in the end, they'd come out alright. And the risks—hell, as far as he was concerned, he'd take Lil any day and damn any potential pain to hell.

For the first time since Elisa, he didn't hesitate. "Yeah, I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved anybody."

_Even Elisa._ He didn't say it, but his father heard it and his smile was blinding. It was a smile that said _at last, at last my son has moved on and he is happy—well and truly happy._ Scotty returned the smile full force, and he knew then that he _had_ moved on. Elisa was now a fond memory, something he could think back on to remember the good times he'd had. The pain of her death was duller, still present, but softened by the thought of his blue-eyed partner and her gorgeous smile. He felt lighter than he ever had since that day he'd heard about Elisa and the Schuylkill.

His father smiled knowingly and patted his arm. "I am glad for you, Scotty. You deserve it."

Scotty smiled back, and the two of them settled back to watch the family bustle around and through the living room. Sitting here in the company of his loud and boisterous family, knowing that at night, he'd have someone to go to made Scotty close his eyes in a rush of happiness. Life couldn't be better.

_Ding-dong._

The doorbell was nearly lost in the din of the house, but Scotty caught it. He made to get up, but Ramiro shook his head.

"I'll get it," his father said, levering himself out of the armchair. With a shrug, Scotty sat back and closed his eyes, listening to Ramiro pad away toward the door.

He wondered what Lil was doing. Hopefully, she'd eaten something since the last time he'd called. She was looking paler these days, whether from lack of sleep or lack of nutrition, he couldn't tell. The only thing he was sure of was that there was no way in hell Lilly was getting sick on his watch. If he had to show up at her house at every mealtime, handcuff her to the dining table, and duct tape a fork to her hand, he would.

Maybe she was still getting nightmares? The thought startled him. He hadn't thought about it much. He hadn't thought about _that_ night either, the night after they'd gone to Jones' Tavern and Lilly had completely freaked. Curiosity burned in his anew, and he wondered again what the hell had happened to make her cower like that. Someone had hit her, that part was clear as day. Clenching his fist at the thought of someone raising a hand to his partner, Scotty thought about the _who _of it all. Maybe her dad? Maybe some scum of the earth her mom had been seeing at the time? Whoever it was, he was still haunting her to this day. But things were different now. Scotty was here now. Did Lil see that? Did she see that whoever scared her would get the crap beat out of him once Scotty just figured out who he was?

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice that his father had been gone for nearly five minutes. It was only when the screaming started that he noticed that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Oh my God!"

His mother's scream launched him from the chair, eyes narrowed in search of danger, his hand reaching automatically for his gun. Chaos reigned as people in the back rushed to see what was going on, and people nearer to the door stumbled back into the living room. Scotty pushed past his brother at the poker table, craning his neck to see what had happened.

What he saw made a chill run down his spine.

Tucker Quincy stood in the doorway, his expression hard and a small, almost demented smile curling at his lips. And in his raised hand gleamed a gun.

Scotty felt his heart skip a beat. Part of him froze in shock. Tucker Quincy. _Here?_ With a _gun?_ The detective in him kicked in, searching instantly for the exits and trying to analyze Tucker's motive in coming to the Valens' house. The answer, obvious, popped into his scrambled mind easily: he was here for Pam and maybe to finish what he'd started with Enrique.

_Damn it!_ Scotty thought, wondering why the hell he'd decided to leave his gun at home today. Oh, right, because he'd been going to a family reunion and hadn't expected a psychopath to show up with a gun. Still, he cursed himself for that lapse in judgment. Without a firearm, he had no real chance against Tucker unless he got within arm's reach of him. Heart pounding, Scotty inched forward, hoping to be able to take advantage of any opportunities.

"Nobody move!" Tucker said harshly, sweeping the gun's muzzle from side to the side. The entire family cowered against the opposite wall, Scotty in the middle of them.

Ramiro stood closest to the gunman. His back was straight, his expression unafraid. "What do you want?" Scotty felt a rush of pride at the commanding edge to his father's voice.

Tucker turned to him, and Scotty could see his eyes—blue that had darkened with wildness, an unshakeable determination, a hint of desperation to it all. He could tell instantly that this was a man past his rope and that reason wouldn't do a thing against him. Tucker was beyond logic.

"What do I want?" Tucker repeated. "What do I want? I want the woman I love. Yes, I want Pam. Where's Pam? You here, baby?" He raised his eyes to search the crowd, waving the gun about as he did so. At his side, Scotty saw the table of his poker-playing cousins tensing. _Don't move,_ he wanted to tell them. _For the love of God, don't do anythin' stupid. _But his throat was dry, and the words wouldn't come. He just hoped they wouldn't take any risks.

Someone behind him whimpered, and Scotty noticed for the first time that it was Pam. She was in his reach, out of sight because of his shoulders. Thank God for small miracles. Now if Tucker could be convinced that Pam had left, or maybe that Pam had gone out back, they had a chance of getting most of the people out safely. Scotty edged back, reaching backwards to grab Pam's hand and keep her behind him.

And then someone stepped forward—Enrique, with his shirt collar unbuttoned so that the bandage on his chest was just barely visible. Scotty cursed inwardly.

"You aren't going anywhere with my wife," he growled lowly, an unusually menacing look snapping in his eyes.

Scotty tensed, his heart pounding against his rib cage. His grip on Pam's hand must have been painful, but she didn't make a sound. Every person's eyes were riveted on the gun, wondering if it would flash and spit forth death. Scotty couldn't breathe.

Tucker laughed. It was an unbridled, demented laugh that sent chills down Scotty's spine. This man was crazy, and anything to do with crazy men with guns never ended happily. He closed his eyes briefly and muttered a quick prayer for the safety of his family. To his side, he heard his mother whispering Spanish prayers under her breath.

_I ain't lettin' anyone get hurt,_ he promised himself. _I'm a cop. It's my job to deal with this._

"I'm not going anywhere?" Tucker repeated, his voice full of amusement. "You're saying that to _me?_ Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm the one with the _gun_, Enrique."

The fear was all too clear in Enrique's face, but to his credit, he didn't retreat. "Pam is _my_ wife, and you aren't taking her anywhere while I'm still alive."

Horror flooded Scotty at his cousin's choice of words. He knew Tucker's next sentence almost before the mechanic uttered them.

"Alright then," Tucker said, smiling lazily. "I can fix that."

He raised the gun to Enrique's head, and Scotty saw in terror his finger tighten on the trigger.

"_Stop!"_

Too late, Scotty noticed that Pam had slipped out of his grasp. Desperately, he reached out to grab her arm as she pushed past him, but she dodged his hand and continued through the crowd to where Enrique stood. Although she trembled visibly, Pam held her head high, her expression defiant.

"Stop," she said lowly, her voice admirably steady. "Leave my husband alone."

Tucker's expression softened perceptibly as he spotted her. "Pam. There you are." Ever so slowly, he lowered the gun, and Scotty drew a shaky breath. A current of relief ran through the room.

"What do you want?" Pam asked coldly, folding her arms to keep them from trembling.

"You, of course," Tucker said, sounding confused. "We're going to leave Philly, leave all this behind, and go somewhere we can be together. We can be in love now, Pam, don't you see?"

"I don't love you," Pam spat, the hatred in her eyes snapping. "I never loved you. You're a monster."

Scotty flinched, fully expecting Tucker to lash out. To his shock, the man merely smiled, his expression calm.

"You say that now, baby," he said softly, raising a hand to stroke Pam's cheek, "but you won't after you're out of here. We're gonna go someplace quiet, someplace they'll never find us."

Enrique found his voice. "You aren't going anywhere," he said adamantly. "Don't touch my wife!"

The transformation on Tucker's face was instantaneous and frightening. His eyes hardening in fury, he whipped his arm around and clubbed Enrique on the side of the head with the butt of the gun. His cousin crumpled to the ground like he was a marionette and someone had brutally cut his strings. Someone screamed. Scotty leaped forward instinctively and then froze when Ramiro stepped between the gun and Enrique, who lay unmoving on the ground.

"Stop this madness," his father said calmly, raising his hands. "Leave us alone. You don't want any of us."

"You think you can talk me out of this, old man?" Tucker sneered, raising his gun. "You think I haven't thought about this? I _love_ Pam. I've loved her for years. She loves me too, I know it. She's just too afraid to admit it here. But I'm taking her away now, and she's gonna love me too. She's gonna realize just how much she loves me and how I'm the perfect guy for her. She's gonna see that there isn't any reason she _shouldn't_ love me!"

"Leave my father alone!"

Scotty's heart nearly stopped a third time as his brother Mike, the closest one to Ramiro, surged forward and blocked Tucker's line of sight at Ramiro. Tucker retreated a step, his free hand clamped around Pam's upper arm.

"A family of martyrs," Tucker sneered. "You wanna die? Fine. I'll kill you all. I'll kill you, and you, and you, and you—" He swung the gun up to Mike's forehead.

Finally, Scotty's body unfroze. He lunged forward shoving Mike out of the way. The two of them went sprawling against the wall as the bullet shattered the window behind them. Screams broke out, though no one dared to move.

Crushing glass under his shoes, Scotty leaped to his feet, whirling around to face Tucker. He stood poised to lunge at him but he froze abruptly.

Tucker had dragged Pam forward, his forearm under her neck, the gun pressed against her temple. Scotty didn't dare move, afraid of scaring Tucker into pressing the trigger.

Tucker laughed. "Now what, Detective? Now what're you gonna do?"

He didn't know. He couldn't move. A thousand thoughts whirled through his mind, none of them coherent. Scotty the Detective analyzed the situation and wondered how to turn it to his advantage. Scotty the Man stood petrified.

Fortunately, Tucker didn't seem to be in a hurry. He smiled almost leisurely at Scotty and asked, like they were old friends, "How's Lilly?"

Fury swept through him at the sound of her name rolling off that _monster's_ lips. "Leave her out of this, you bastard," he snarled. The smarter side of him cautioned that it was probably a bad idea to provoke the guy with the gun; the other side told the voice to go to hell.

Tucker only smiled. "She's doing well, I guess. We had a nice date, you know? She liked me and everything. We had some pizza, went to the movies. Too bad she stopped it there. We could have had some more fun."

Despite the anger clenching him, Scotty felt a sudden, supreme wave of relief. Ever since he'd learned of her date, he'd been half-afraid that Lilly _had_ gone that far with Tucker, that she'd given another man something Scotty already thought of as his. But she hadn't. She'd stopped him. And that made all the difference.

"So what's she up to now?" Tucker mused. "She miss me, you think?"

"She ain't gonna rest 'til you're in prison or six feet under," Scotty snarled, fists clenched.

"Oh?" Tucker smiled sardonically. "Maybe I should pay her a visit after this."

Rage roared in his ears, but Scotty kept himself still with an effort. "You do that and I'll kill you."

Tucker raised an eyebrow. "Will you? You, her knight in shining armor?"

The hint of a smile flickered over Scotty's face. A knight in shining armor? Hah! If there was anything he'd learned over the years, it was that Lilly Rush did not need protection. He allowed a cold smile to touch his lips. "Nah, I take it back. You do that and _she'll_ kill you. You get within twenty feet of her, and Lil's gonna shoot you dead on the spot."

Tucker nodded and smiled. "I get the feeling she'd do that. I wouldn't risk it anyway." He lowered the gun slightly and stepped back toward the door with Pam in tow. "Here's what's going to happen. All of you are going to stay here and let me walk out of here. I see anyone coming after me, I'll shoot her, understand?" He dragged Pam roughly next to him, and she let out a terrified whimper.

Scotty held up a hand. "You ain't gonna get away with this, Tucker. Police are probably already on their way. Stop it now, and we won't add kidnappin' to your charges."

Tucker smiled. "I've gone this far already, Detective. I shot two officers yesterday. I won't balk at a little thing like kidnapping." He reached the threshold of the door and paused. "But I probably can't count on you to stay put, can I? You're a police officer. You'll call in all your buddies and send out alerts. Now I can't have that, can I?"

He didn't leave any time for an answer. One arm around Pam, his expression hard, the entire room silenced by terror, Tucker swung up his arm and, his face still contorted in that twisted smile, pulled the trigger once.


End file.
